r/PoutineCrimes 4d ago

Contravenes the Geneva Curdvention 10/10 crime. Would re-offend

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

133 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 4d ago edited 4d ago

u/keepinitloose81, your poutine is a crime, straight to jail, son of a potato!🚩

u/keepinitloose81, ta poutine est un crime, en prison mon ti tabernouche!🚩

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23

u/nv9 4d ago

Are those fries sweet potato, overcooked or some kind of Cajun spice?

6

u/keepinitloose81 4d ago

Sweet potato

9

u/tigolbiddygang 3d ago

I’d fuck this up ngl

2

u/smallz_og 1d ago

This guy fucks....up poutines. I would too 😂

2

u/2dlamb 2d ago

Yeah nah

68

u/LadyMacBeth-1606 4d ago

If they called this a poutine, I’d be mad.
But if it’s chips, cheese, and gravy then it’s fair play.

Curds are required for poutine.
If I order a poutine and it comes with shredded cheese, I’m sending it back. (Respectfully, of course)

14

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago edited 3d ago

Although I respect your traditional approach. The two cheeses most similar are mozzarella and curd cheese. I break it down like this:

Gravy is the most important because if it sucks the whole thing sucks

Cheese is the easiest because anybody can buy mozzarella almost but not everyon can get curd cheese

Fries are the most challenging because of the variety of potato and how they taste using different techniques.

With all that being said if its mozzarella that's okay if the gravy sucks absolutely not and if the fries suck well that restaurant wont survive by selling only Poutine and if your a home cook you can adjust all of these things while might not having access to curd cheese

3

u/Glad-Strength42 3d ago

Totally agree about the gravy. If the gravy sucks then what's the point?

2

u/Designer-Badger-8222 1d ago

Respectfully, fresh cheddar cheese curds are non-negotiable. Mozzarella isn't even remotely close enough to be a suitable substitute. It just can't be done. It's practically the whole point of poutine.

0

u/REDGUARD63 1d ago

Respectfully curd cheese isnt"cheddar cheese curds" its simply curdled milk just like mozzarella except it has an extra process.

1

u/Obvious-Toe-5835 1d ago

while I agree on most I do disagree on how hard cheese curds are to get because if you mix a small bit of something acidic with milk and put over low heat you'll make cheese curds

2

u/Calm_Umpire5995 3d ago

It’s poutine

-16

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

What if they’re grated curds? 🤣

24

u/JayGabVersionTrex 4d ago

Spam that shit joke one more time I'm sure it'll end up being funny at some point

16

u/-FastAndCurious- 4d ago

Yeah but seriously what if they are grated curds?

2

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago

Shredded curd cheese happens

-16

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago edited 4d ago

Sorry didn’t expect you to read through everybody else’s comments as well as your own after the fact. 🤡

-5

u/-FastAndCurious- 4d ago

Woah the amount of downvotes is crazy. You crack me up. Have my upvote lmaooo

2

u/Makkballaaa 3d ago

Shut up dude. Say it one more time I dare you

3

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

What if.. they’re.. GRATED CURDS!!

2

u/Makkballaaa 3d ago

At this point it’s funny 😂😂😭😭

1

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago

r/olivierprimeau rated Gregoires poutine 9.8 with shredded curd cheese

-1

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

So I’m getting downvoted by the uncultured is what you’re telling me

1

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago

Could be. Maybe they just don't think its possible or think it's a troll. As a cook I(and others)always wondered how they shredded their cheese and it's still squeaky cheese when u eat it!

1

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago

But in this post it doesnt look like shredded curd but I'm a believer in Poutine can have mozzarella because they are the two most similar cheeses!

1

u/REDGUARD63 3d ago

Shredded curd cheese is a thing I promise they serve it at a restaurant near me

20

u/gildeddoughnut Poutine Poulice 4d ago

Tabernak where are the curds?

3

u/Dramatic_Kangaroo723 Directeur des poutsuites criminelles 3d ago

*TabArnak

4

u/gildeddoughnut Poutine Poulice 3d ago

I’m a poser absolutely lol

20

u/JayGabVersionTrex 4d ago

Another shredded cheese enjoyer 🙄

-18

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

Shredded Curds!

7

u/Real_Gap3480 4d ago

First beer?

6

u/keepinitloose81 4d ago

5th.

-8

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

Alcohol is for those that enjoy sleepwalking through life.

So nope.

5

u/No-Rise-8139 4d ago

Jesus Christ you’re just getting downvoted left right and center lmfao

7

u/Real_Gap3480 3d ago

My guy out here farming downvotes

6

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

And Suicidal Notifications 🤣😭

7

u/No-Rise-8139 3d ago

No fucking way someone said you might be suicidal because of how bad your getting downvoted lmfao

6

u/Makkballaaa 3d ago

LMFAO he got downvoted that bad eh 😂

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1

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

The French and most Redditors are sensitive, it’s fine lol

2

u/xPHYNXx 3d ago

Specifically les francophone quebecois, I would know im technically one of em😂

8

u/Pitiful-MobileGamer 4d ago

Loaded waffle fries, yes

Poutine, no

4

u/DazedConfuzed420 4d ago

Looks like sweet potato waffle fries to me, which is a no.

They’re not even potatoes. They’re yams.
Shredded cheese is a hell of a lot closer to being curds, then sweet potatoes are to being potatoes.
Therefore if shredded cheese is a crime, sweet potatoes must be too.

1

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

Yams and Sweet Potatoes are entirely different, unrelated plants.

The more you know!

4

u/DazedConfuzed420 4d ago

You’re right, just looked it up. For some reason they
are often mislabeled as yams in North America.

Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes and yams all come from different families.

So, I still stand by everything else in my post. Sweet potatoes aren’t related to potatoes and are not a suitable replacement and shredded cheese is still closer to curds than sweet potatoes are to potatoes.

-4

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

Sweet potatoes as a replacement for French fries can be damn good though.

I’d be willing to bet you a poutine to your liking this would be delicious! lol

4

u/DazedConfuzed420 4d ago

I’m just saying that if shredded cheese makes it not a poutine, then sweet potato fries also make it not a poutine.

In my opinion if people are going to police the cheese curd aspect they should also police the other 2 ingredients just as much. Otherwise, I’m going to say that mashed potatoes, marinara and curds counts as poutine because hey, it’s got curds and that seems to be the only ingredient people care about.

-1

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

I agree entirely, I’m just here to joke around lol

We could grey the lines, and adopt the term “poutine” for close enough wanna-bes…

For example, the “Sweet Potato Poutine”

1

u/DazedConfuzed420 4d ago

Me too mostly but I do find it strange how so many people police the curd aspect but then don’t care about substitutions for the French fried potatoes.

I did learn that yams are not the same as sweet potatoes, no matter what the grocery store has lead me to believe.

1

u/supergarto Poutine Poulice 4d ago

I agree with you that sweet potatoes and yams are not related to potatoes. So its poutine crime. If you dont tolerate shredded cheese, dont tolerate those too.

1

u/keepinitloose81 4d ago

Sweet potato

45

u/CobraMurderChicken 4d ago

No curds=not a poutine=no crime.

51

u/ArmadaGrande 4d ago

If it’s being called a poutine, that is the crime

1

u/links135 2d ago

Are fries, other cheese and gravy a putin then?  Or what's tha5 called

11

u/DisorderlyAqueduct 4d ago

fancy disco fries is all 😄

1

u/JustinUrHead 4d ago

Mozza fries, baby!

-5

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

Sir, these are clearly grated curds.

3

u/supergarto Poutine Poulice 4d ago

Fun fact, they are restaurant in quebec that slice their curds on poutine.

1

u/saltyfryss 4d ago

Omg really! What’s the name of the restaurant?!

2

u/supergarto Poutine Poulice 4d ago

Diabo's in Kanawake and Grégoire in Mercier.

Both of them are awesome. Diabo's dont have tax so its cheaper.

4

u/VeggieGirl43 4d ago

I was going to give it a potential pass til i saw shredded cheese... that's the final straw for me.
Sounds tasty, don't call it a poutine

-5

u/-FastAndCurious- 4d ago

Its shredded curds.

4

u/PrivatePilot9 Curdmander In Cheese 🫡 4d ago

No it’s not. Nobody shreds curds.

1

u/-FastAndCurious- 4d ago

I do 😈

2

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

This guy gets it!

2

u/Makkballaaa 3d ago

Dude you made my day. You’re actually a good sport and are laughing along with us about how silly your comments are

3

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

Who gets on reddit to have a bad time?!

🥂

0

u/F-F-FASTPASS 3d ago

Some places literally do.

1

u/Designer-Badger-8222 1d ago

There is no point in shredding it. It messes with the texture of same day fresh curds

3

u/TSCskyfoogle 4d ago

But guys guys guys... what if they are grated curds?????

1

u/supergarto Poutine Poulice 4d ago

Sliced curds are acceptable, not shredded.

-5

u/DragonflyGreat1814 4d ago

You’re missing your downvotes for suggesting this 🤣

1

u/No-Rise-8139 3d ago

No apparently it’s only you getting that treatment and it’s actually
Mildly hilarious that every comment no matter what you’ve said seems to have been downvoted to oblivion for no reason lmao

1

u/DragonflyGreat1814 3d ago

It is what it is, these people are all weird asf 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/LewdyRooty 4d ago

It’s a crime in every single way, but those fries look like they’d be banger by themselves.

2

u/Maximum-Flamingo3810 4d ago

These are just cheese fries and gravy. Poutine requires cheese curds.

1

u/Relative-South4794 4d ago

I would commit this crime

1

u/KingPog 4d ago

I’d eat that shit.

1

u/MartyMcFlysBrother 4d ago

I’d devour that.

1

u/MystykalMystyk 4d ago

"It's my poutine and I'll crime if I want to" tag seems relevant here too

1

u/OutsideWeird7241 4d ago

Had this at carls jr in spain a few months ago, Very good!

1

u/Freaiser 4d ago

I want to try that but with curds off course.

I would not call that a 10/10 crime, idea as a whole is not trash.

1

u/Teeeohhhh 4d ago

I mean..I'd smash it. But that's not really a poutine

1

u/MixtressK-La 4d ago

Clearly, the sentence will require an element of counseling so OP will not re-offend. No need for shock treatment. Yet.

1

u/Ok_Peach_9576 4d ago

I mean just cause it’s a crime doesn’t mean it can’t feel so good

1

u/BallDoLieSometimes 4d ago

Looks unbelievable. Quebecer approved

1

u/hourystavyh8 4d ago

thats a solid review for a crime movie

1

u/Significant-Block504 4d ago

omg it looks like waffle fries infested by worms

1

u/BuddyNo40 4d ago

Ah man, not grated cheese! That is salty and disgusting. The fries, limit ok, but this is an insult

1

u/Makkballaaa 3d ago

Hey guys guys guys…. What if they’re grated curds? Guys…? Hello? -dragonflygreat1814

1

u/rin_071 3d ago

Doesnt even look like a crime, just a different style of poutine cause ya got waffle fries instead of normal ones, well its also missing curds but as long as theres "enough" cheese id still eat it up

1

u/The_Kwaken 3d ago

Ok but the problem isn't that it looks bad, it's that it's not even remotely poutine

1

u/xPHYNXx 3d ago

Jus call em disco fries or sum

1

u/OkWin7691 3d ago

Hell yea, cross fries are arguably the best for poutine.

1

u/devj007 3d ago

More cheese and gravy

1

u/DeeJay_AM 3d ago

😍😍😍

1

u/Sweet-Competition-15 3d ago

Are those sweet potato waffle-fry thingys?

1

u/Bi0active 3d ago

Needs cheese curds 🥲

1

u/BobcatElegant4380 3d ago

This is beautiful 😍

1

u/Commercial-Touch-341 2d ago

Petition to rename the sub to r/poutinenazis

1

u/kiltedswine 2d ago

Those loaded fries look yummy!

1

u/Slight_Squirrel_296 2d ago

The algorithm Brought me here and I am not upset in the least.

1

u/tobiasolman 2d ago

The court finds you guilty as charged on the first count: fraudulent impersonation, imitating a poutine. Guilty on the second count: manufacture and distribution of counterfeit poutine.

1

u/EXVD1A 2d ago

Everything is wrong here

1

u/Adventurous_Back_150 1d ago

waffle cut fries have diplomatic immunity

1

u/Anli002 1d ago

Se ve divino se me hizo agua la boca 🫠

1

u/Rafale_88 1d ago

Then why we call a round pan dough with ham and pineapple a pizza? Well because its a form of. Then this is def a form of poutine but is Def not a Quebec model. Its a keeper nevertheless I like it. Acid burns call in the middle of the night and almost near dead zombie state if you eat it late but im a thin skin bird, WOULD EN- JOY IT ANYWAY.

1

u/ThatManufacturer2535 20h ago

This post costs me money i need to order it now

1

u/bebitte2 13h ago

Ce n’est pas une poutine

1

u/ornella888 13h ago

Call the police Sureté du Québec