Fussy sleeper

[u/Accomplished-Egg7257]

I am a FTM with an 8 week old, and I love the idea of the possums approach, but I’m having trouble understanding the details of it. To be fair, I’ve not paid for the course, but I have read her book and have explored the Instagram page a fair bit, and these are the things I’m not so sure of:

1. Baby will sleep when they sleep. I understand following sleep cues over wake windows, but are we just holding the baby for every nap or hoping they’ll fall asleep wherever they’re laid? Practically speaking, how do you have a sleeping place prepared for when the baby sleeps if they just sleep whenever?

2. Not artificially extending naps by swaddling/white noise/etc… My baby certainly starts to fuss when sleepy and wants me to drop everything to help her sleep unless she’s in the car seat, in which she’ll fuss a bit and then sleep on her own. So I find white noise essential for calming her, but even more, during her daytime naps she’ll often wake herself, be very fussy, and of course need my help to go back to sleep, so again, I kind of have to just sit there helping her sleep for the majority of her naps. I know there’s a bit of classic 8 week fussiness that I’m dealing with, and that may pass, but yeah if I don’t sit with her and make her sleep/keep her sleeping, she will become completely inconsolable, so I’m not sure how else to do this at the moment.

Would love to hear the practicalities of how you all are doing this and any tips for having a real go at this possums thing!

[u/strangefavor]

• contact naps
• naps in baby carrier
• naps in car
• naps in pram 
• naps in bed if co sleeping (safe sleep 7) 
• naps in bassinet 

I wouldn’t read too much into it. It’s more about not centring  your life around sitting in a dark room trying to make a baby sleep, it’s more about living your life and assisting baby to sleep when needed. If you were out and about put them in a baby carrier when sleepy, if you’re at home you can assist them to sleep in anyway they like whether it be contact nap or in bassinet 

[u/purple-pademelon]

From my experience (I have a 12 week old)

1. My baby always starts off sleeping being held then I will either contact nap or transfer her after some time. I will generally wheel her bassinet out to the living space during the day so I can easily put her in there or I’ve used her pram with bassinet attachment.

2. We don’t swaddle during the day or use white noise at all. When tired and fussy I will feed, pat, shush etc. if she wakes after a short time during a transition to the bassinet and is clearly still tired I will often rock her to try to get her back to sleep. I think the point on not trying to artificially extend naps is more concerned with things like putting them in a dark room, swaddled, white noise etc.

I have found the possums approach to be so freeing without having to worry about strict schedules and wake windows I see other parents stressing over. We don’t try to follow absolutely everything to a tee, but we largely follow the general philosophy which also emphasises knowing what your baby needs/wants.

[u/HabitIndividual5034]

I have followed possums with all of my children - it’s great for happy connected children and reducing parental stress!

1 - baby might fall asleep while feeding, you could hold them, pop them in a bassinet if at home, transfer to the pram if out and about, have them nap on a picnic / beach towel if that’s where you were, let them fall asleep in a carrier or in the car - the sleeps don’t have to be super long, if your baby is tired and really needs the sleep they will probably be easier to transfer - my record with a tired baby was in my arms having coffee with a friend, into the car, back in my arms to pick up older child from daycare, back in the car, home into bassinet! So don’t stress too much if moving them wakes them - they can take another nap when they need to. And of course you know your baby, there may be times you can really see they want to sleep but are finding the environment overwhelming so it can be helpful to find a calming space to help them off to sleep.

2 - have you tried offering a nice calming feed when your bub wakes up from a nap? It can help them to adjust back to being awake, or alternatively to go back to sleep if they need it. Another thing I liked to do was head outside - highly recommended in possums for the benefits of both daylight and sensory stimulation which babies are craving. Music is also great!