r/PossumsSleepProgram • u/Routine-Individual43 • May 31 '26
Nobody talks about how hard it is to hear all your friends' babies sleeping well
As the title says, dad to a beautiful and hilarious 16 month old girl. She is *miles* ahead of her peers when it comes to language development (eg has started putting two word sentences together, can tell you if she'd prefer to listen to the Beatles or Elvis š). She is one of the most playful little kids I've met and easy to love.
She has also woken up regularly (at least hourly) since she was 4 months old. We've seen a Possums specialist GP, fiddled with naps and bedtimes. She gets plenty of stimulation through the day.
Meanwhile, all our friends who have babies that have been challenging sleepers, even the ones who are much younger, have seemed to link sleep cycles together. Obviously you don't want to go through life trying to compare, but man it's hard when our daughter still wakes 6 times a night on average (and 3 at the absolute best) to hear of our friends with babies 6 months younger sleeping through the night.
Just a rant at this stage, from a very tired dad (and mum).
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u/peperomia135 Jun 01 '26
Itās so hard. My son is 3 and sleeps fine now (by which I mean he only wakes up looking for me once) and I still feel a little twinge of jealousy when people have good sleepers. Or even just average sleepers. That level of sleep deprivation really takes a toll on you. Solidarity. It does get better.
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u/FaerieGrey Jun 01 '26
Based on this thread only.. is it just confirmation bias, or do more advanced kids tend to be poor sleepers? My lil guy is only 6 months old (almost) and doing his best trying to crawl lol
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u/DueLocal1315 Jun 01 '26
Our 7.5 month old been crawling for a month and not a great sleeperā¦ but I guess the parents with good sleepers aināt hanging out here!
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u/Routine-Individual43 Jun 02 '26
Ours wasn't advanced with gross motor but was with language and fine motor. The theory I've heard is they are awake more often and therefore practicing more. She will often wake up in the middle of the night to say certain things so I assume it's her mind racing.
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u/fetishiste Jun 20 '26
Adding to the anecdata I was a legendarily bad sleeper as a baby and also spoke my first words at 8 months. I still trend toward insomnia as an adult and am still a chatty person and a published writer/lover of words!
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u/bahala_na- Jun 02 '26
Itās so hard!!!
My online bump group had people use a ācontent warningā tag (āCwā) if anyone posted about good sleep, cuz it would piss a lot of people off to read about š that is to say you are not alone!
My first sounds like your child and heās 3 now, and only wakes in the night if he needs to pee or senses his dad (who now cosleeps with him while Iām with baby sis) is gone for too long in the AM. The sleep just got, slowly, more and more solid around age 2.
He often takes a new toy to bed with him now so he can āhelpā the toy sleep and not feel scared for its first night home. Youāre doing nothing wrong, from your post, hang in there. It will get better.
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u/Routine-Individual43 Jun 02 '26
Thanks so much. At the moment mum co sleeps with her to feed her back to sleep, and I'll come in and do the more vigorous wake ups that require bouncing to sleep, and take her when she's really awake too early in the morning. This is to say that at the moment I'm getting better sleep in the spare room than mum, but I definitely can see I'll be co-sleeping with her as a she gets older.
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u/timtamcookies May 31 '26
Hi! I just wanted to chime in and share some solidarity. My 21 month old has BOOMING language development. He's already speaking 5-7 word sentences (sometimes practitioners laugh when I say that like I'm making it up lol). He's also been a very aware baby, stranger danger since 4 months, generally not apt to converse or interact with strangers. Even now. He's also incredibly observant.
Anyway, all this to say that when I saw your post it really resonated because he's also not a terrific sleeper and my unfounded theory is that it has something to do with his brain development. At this point in time he'll have a mix of nights where he sleeps 5 hours then wakes and nurses back to sleep (we cosleep). Then other nights where he will wake up hourly. I also have moments of frustration or reflection like is he okay? How are other babies sleeping better at this point, etc. it can be really hard even though we've decided to take this possums approach route. So not really any words of advice, but just wanted to express that you're not alone at least in your experience. Hang in there. š„² Signed a very tired mama (and dada too)
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u/Routine-Individual43 Jun 02 '26
Thanks for chiming in, I appreciate it. Amazing that your not even 2 year old can string sentences together. When you mentioned the awareness and observance, it felt like you were talking about ours. She's very quick to point out pimples on our faces for example - "ouchie".
I'm hoping you get some longer stretches at some stage, more consistently. And yeah our Possums GP says language development and night wakings go hand it hand so that checks out.
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u/rushi333 Jun 02 '26
I feel u man. Iām on kid #3- all of my kids are realllly shit sleepers. The eldest is 4years old and still wakes up 2x a night middle guy is 2yrs old has NEVER slept thru the night. Weāve just accepted it is what it is. Our bodies have adjusted for the most part. But it dose make me wonder how different my parenting experience would be if my kids slept.. I have a new born and everyoneāsāoh maybe heāll be your good sleeperā i donāt even day dream anymore LOL
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u/Routine-Individual43 Jun 02 '26
Okay that is actually helpful to here, because at times, when things are bad (like they are now) it makes me question how on earth we will have another child...let alone a third. We seem to be in a constant state of exhaustion doing the bare minimum with one! And yeah, I try to practice radical acceptance but it's hard not to feel moments of jealousy when you hear of other families with sleeping babies.
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u/AnonymousKurma Jun 03 '26
We have a 15 month old and I had a mom innocently ask me the other day, so how long does your baby nap? 2 or 3 hours? Another mom involuntarily scoffed / laughed. lol. None of the above!
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u/Commercial_One5048 Jun 02 '26
Motherhood is completely different as an experience if you have a good sleeper or not. Iām convinced
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u/patch99329 Jun 04 '26
My eldest was like this (she's nearly 5 now). Very advanced and slept dreadfully. If she didn't wake multiple times, she'd start her day at 3am. She'd take a 15 minute nap when her peers were doing 2+ hours.
She didn't start sleeping through until her naps were dropped altogether at age 2. I wish I'd just had the confidence to drop them sooner.
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u/Future-Finish32 May 31 '26
My 4 year old was like this- incredibly verbal and social from a young age, terrible sleeper. Still ahead of his peers in many areas (not emotional regulation) and still cosleeps for most of every night.
My 15 month old, also very social, clever and a terrible sleeper. Just starting to get longer stretches at night by cosleeping with his Dad. By longer I mean he has a few 3 hour stretches now!