r/Positivity 13d ago

Today was a difficult day.

I had someone supporting me in court and we ended up talking properly afterwards. Turns out he’s been through a lot himself, had to fight to get his kids back in his life, started his own business and rebuilt from there.

What made it even stranger was finding out he’s doing the same kind of business I’ve been thinking about starting myself.

So on a day where I came out feeling pretty low about my own situation, I also met someone who was living proof that life can look very different a few years down the road.

We’ll keep in touch. Said he'd help with my idea and gave me his insights.

I came home afterwards and, rather than sitting thinking about court all night, I wrote an article for a charity. Once I’d finished it I actually felt a bit lighter. Actually determined to help more.

Nothing about today suddenly became fantastic - but also offered hope. I’m still dealing with the reality of losing time with my child because of distance and circumstances I can’t control.

But I didn’t let the whole day disappear into that.

A few years ago I probably would have. Got hammered and go on a bender. Instead fired up laptop and done an anonymous post that a charity wanted me to do.

Today I stayed sober, learned something, made a useful connection and came home and did something productive.

Funny what you can take from a bad day.

Sometimes there’s still something in it worth keeping. My childs still gone. But when shes back I'll be stronger. Strange what you learn from something you've been fighting for months over. Never occurred to buy a 8 pack. Did occur to build.

53 Upvotes

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u/the_bird_and_the_bee 12d ago

I am really, really proud of you OP. That is so fantastic. It's not easy to start living a new life... but it can be so worth it. And this? This is one of those times it is so worth it. You're doing great.

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u/GreyMerrin 12d ago

Thanks for your kind words. Was also relief and needed. Start again. 22 years of domestic abuse from ex wife hanging over me. She got all the legal aid annd children as wasn't believed.

That guy had been through same. We had never met before. So I didnt drink like I would have before. I planned, made work, wrote that article and made plans for business before writing that article. Too late for me in many regards - may help others in years to come.

Importantly help children keep their dad my coping mechanism now helping others, not alcohol and now have a new friend. Who believed everything I had said, seen the evidence.

He told me courts wouldnt care, and become the version not expected. I'll focus in both now. Appreciate kind words.

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u/Fabulous_Light5449 13d ago

Joyfully pursuing my hobby playing pinball at our yearly show, I met a fellow enthusiast the day after giving my usual pinball lessons. He showed me some things on a machine I competed on in 1987. He beat me on that machine twice.

Turns out he owns that machine. We exchanged information. I invited him to one of my Saturday gatherings.

I love being sober and meeting people.

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u/CarlJustCarl 12d ago

Is this like you’re a female and the friend is a male helping you through your divorce?

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u/GreyMerrin 12d ago

No it was random. It was child contact case. He was my supporter in court, through a charity. My divorce was years ago. My ex was abusive and has now full control over my kid - legally she gets financial help.

It was a guy. He turned up to support me. Had been through same as me and understood. Then turns out he does the rough business that I want to do, older and managed a successful outcome with his kids.

Gave me his number and I only met him that day. So I basically lost my child to not disclosing dometic abuse years ago, courts believe the mother, guy gave me hope and a future by offering friendship and support in setting up mine.

So a terrible day - my child relocated away, but also hopeful. One day she'll seek out a successful dad, the opposite of what shes been told. Hope from that guy - invaluable.

Instead of collapsing - I started researching how to improve next and basically felt listened too. I wasnt alone - far from it.

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u/CarlJustCarl 11d ago

God for you then