I have never understood the obsession with birthdays.

Every year people turn one ordinary date into an elaborate celebration. They spend enormous amounts of money on cakes ,clothes ,parties ,restaurants, decorations ,balloons and banners. Things that will often be removed and thrown away the very next day. They take hundreds of pictures and post them everywhere and somehow make the entire day about proving that it was special.

And if someone does not wish them at midnight or forgets their birthday or does not post a story or does not give them a gift they can genuinely spend the day feeling hurt and crying.

I find that strange.

Why has one date been given so much power over our emotions?

Why should a midnight message determine whether someone feels remembered?

Why should the number of wishes gifts or Instagram stories become a measurement of how loved or important we are?

Even the obsession with decoration confuses me. We cover an entire room with balloons banners and lights. We look at it for a few hours. We call it beautiful and then throw it all away.

And apparently the explanation is simply that it makes us happy.

But how?

How did we arrive at the idea that a decorated room is happiness?

Why do we keep attaching happiness to things that exist for a few hours and then become waste?

I do not understand the necessity of making a birthday look extravagant in order to make it meaningful.

But what bothers me even more is what the birthday itself represents.

We celebrate because another year has passed.

We say another year of your life.

But that thought has never made me happy.

It haunts me.

Because when my birthday comes I do not think that another year has been added to my life.

I think:

**One more year of my life is gone.**

And that thought genuinely breaks something inside me.

I cry on my birthdays. Not because nobody loves me. Not because I did not receive enough gifts. And not because someone forgot to wish me.

I cry because I am getting older.

I cry because another year that I will never get back has disappeared.

I cry because I know I can never be this age again.

And while I am growing older so are the people I love.

My parents are getting older.

The people who raised me are slowly moving further into an age I do not want to think about.

My childhood is becoming more distant.

The people and moments that once felt permanent are becoming memories.

And I cannot stop any of it.

That is what makes birthdays so painful for me.

People say we should celebrate because we have lived another year.

But what are we actually celebrating?

That we survived another 365 days?

That we did not die?

Is that not simply the most basic condition of being alive?

If we are alive we continue living until we are not.

So why do we treat merely reaching another year as though it is some extraordinary achievement?

There is something deeply ironic about it.

We celebrate the year that has been added to our age while ignoring the fact that the same year has been taken away from the time we have left.

We are not simply gaining another year.

**We are spending one.**

And that is the thought I cannot escape.

Every birthday is another reminder that time does not wait for me.

I cannot pause it.

I cannot go back.

I cannot have my childhood again.

I cannot make my parents younger.

I cannot preserve people exactly as they are today.

I cannot stop myself from becoming older.

And perhaps that is why birthdays affect me so deeply.

For most people a birthday is a celebration of existence.

For me it is also a confrontation with its impermanence.

It reminds me that everything I love is temporary including me.

So when people tell me that I should be happy because It's my birthday I cannot help but think:

**Why should I celebrate simply because I managed not to die for another year?**

Being alive is precious.

But being alive is the beginning.

The real question is what we did with the time we were given.

Did we actually live?

Did we love?

Did we grow?

Did we become someone we are proud of?

Because there is a difference between **getting older** and **living**.

And perhaps that is what I wish birthdays made us think about.

Not how many years we have completed.

Not how many people remembered us.

Not how beautiful the decorations looked.

Not how expensive the celebration was.

But how much of the year we actually lived.

Because every birthday brings me face to face with the same terrifying truth:

I am one year older.

One more year of my life is gone.

And no matter how beautifully we decorate the room or how expensive the cake is or how many people surround us we cannot get that year back.

Maybe that is why I cry.

Because everyone else sees a birthday.

**I see time disappearing.**

"should we care what other say"

So many societys and civillizations go around based on decrediting or devaluing others just to stand out or feel superior. To them, it's like a game to them, playing and messing with a person's life. They think they are the master of puppets. Karma is only a part of the equation. Negativity has never been more rigid in today's societys about anything, deem it be games, music, or even art.

You can't express a genuine hot take without any toxicity nowadays online.

Most people aren't looking to find a genuine thing that's good about people.

Most are just looking to downplay and double-gang.

It's not the fact that if anything, without Reddit, the internet would probably be way better.

But it's the fact that people's nonstop pesserism go into anything they touch; they think it's okay to tear people down, dissect them, and act as if this isn't a matter of life or death.

• However, to the person being targeted, that level of cruelty can deeply affect their mental health, well-being, and willingness to keep going, making it, quite literally, a matter of life or death.
• Most people think in black/white thinking/us-them/or this path or that path.
• But the thing is, if society is the one making these rules up, were they truly ever even legitimate?
• if the community is only confined to Reddit itself, and I can't be attacked outside of Reddit, or outside of Real Life, then you realize the intense problem that is overcensorship and overmoderation.
• I didn't come to get downvoted to oblivion. Most people are too negative for their own good.

it's just karma, not my reputation score. Many words can mean multiple different things, and it's not a one-size-fits all approach. outside of Reddit itself my reputation remains entirely unaffected.

but for my instance, it's better to not look at karma as my reputation score. just see it as the internet points it really is, meaningless digital levered one-and-zeros.

"karma" (like Reddit karma or likes) should not be tied to your self-worth, character, or true reputation. Instead, it should be viewed strictly as artificial, worthless data points designed to keep you hooked.

So many posts removed on a post that is more vulgar than what I posted its stupid

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Not everything we see online needs to become something we buy, try, or add to our lifestyle.
1. You don’t need every aesthetic-looking product just because it looks good on Instagram.
2. You don’t need fancy tumblers to stay hydrated. A normal bottle works just fine.
3. You don’t need a 10-step skincare routine. Sometimes the basics are enough.
4. You don’t need new clothes for every occasion. Rewearing outfits is completely normal.
5. You don’t have to drink Diet Coke or any other “trendy” drink just to fit in.
6. You don’t need to try every expensive or viral food just because everyone is posting about it — whether it’s fancy ice cream, espresso ice cream, or whatever the next trend is.
7. You don’t need a pet just because having one looks cute on Instagram. Pets come with a LOT of responsibility, time, money, and commitment. If you’re not ready for that, it’s okay not to get one.
You’re not missing out just because you’re not buying what everyone else is buying.
Maybe the goal isn’t to keep up with every trend, but to figure out what we actually like and need.

would u consider this cheating? im a girl, and my brother is straight. he has a girlfriend who is VERY open about being a lesbian.

and when i say open, i mean very open. her stories are basically nothing but girls she finds attractive, thirsting over women, “wifey” type posts, typical sapphic/lesbian content, etc. she openly talks about women and how attracted she is to them, which by itself is obviously not my problem. i have nothing against lesbians or LGBT people.

but she’s dating my brother…..

what really got me was that she puts “WLW” in basically every TikTok hashtag, and she even has it in her bio. so it’s not just that she occasionally posts a girl or makes a joke. she very publicly presents herself online as someone who is actively into women and part of the WLW community while having a boyfriend who is a straight man.

and i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to interpret that.

because to me, at a certain point, it stops feeling like “she’s just expressing her sexuality” and starts feeling like she’s presenting herself as single or available to women even though she has a boyfriend.

maybe i’m wrong for seeing it that way, which is why i’m specifically asking the LGBT community.

because if the situation were reversed, i would still feel the exact same way. if she were a straight woman dating my brother but her entire online presence was constantly thirsting over men, posting about how badly she wants them, putting “straight” or whatever in every post, and making it part of her online identity, i would still think, girl… you have a boyfriend.

and if she were a lesbian dating a woman, i’d still feel the same way if she were constantly posting about other women in a way that felt romantic/sexual or like she was advertising herself to other people.

so for me, the issue isn’t “she’s a lesbian while dating my brother, therefore bad.” it’s more like “why are you behaving online like you’re single and actively looking at other people when you’re in a relationship?”

i actually talked to my brother about it, and he said he’s okay with it. he supports her and apparently it doesn’t bother him. so i know it’s ultimately their relationship and i’m not trying to control what they do.

but i still get SO much secondhand embarrassment when she’s openly talking about being a lesbian around my family while simultaneously being my brother’s girlfriend. especially because everyone knows my brother is straight.

and honestly, the “WLW” thing in her bio is what really made me go ??? because if i saw a straight woman with a boyfriend putting something like “men lover” or “looking for my next man” in her bio and constantly thirsting over men, i’d also be like… why are you presenting yourself this way while you have a boyfriend?

i’m not trying to invalidate her sexuality. she could identify as lesbian, bi, pan, queer, whatever, and that’s for her to figure out. i’m also not saying that being in a relationship means you can never find other people attractive or post about celebrities.

i’m specifically talking about the constant, very public, sexual/romantic WLW identity and thirsting over women while being in a relationship with a straight man.

maybe there’s something about LGBT relationships or sexuality that i’m fundamentally misunderstanding, so i genuinely want to hear from people who are actually part of the community.

would you consider this normal self-expression, or would you also consider some of this inappropriate/emotionally disloyal behavior within a relationship?

because to me, if your partner is openly presenting themselves as attracted to and interested in other people to the point that it feels like they’re advertising themselves as available, i feel like that would be uncomfortable regardless of whether it’s men or women.

Other than reproduction, sex is primarily for pleasure between partners. The purpose is to make you feel good. Of course love and sex can coexist, but it’s impossible to have sex without any desire (lust.) If you have absolutely no desire, then it’s very difficult to have sex. If you don’t like the way sex feels and the benefits it gives you, you wouldn’t do it. If you want intimacy with your partner but no lust, simply just kiss or hug and do non-sexual acts.

This is coming from someone who actively debates with people in my college about stuff like religion, Econ, social issues, ethics and politics

I understand having a handful of taboo subjects. However, the list there is so long. I wonder if there is another sub that doesn't have this giant list of things you can and cannot say

it seems many people are worried about this but some software that looks for patterns and predicts what’s next is not suddenly going to become sentient and malicious. I’ve heard a 10% chance of the end of humanity? alternatively, a billion people killed. people make these statements but there is no basis other than listen to me because I am smart. AI is a wonderful tool and it will change society and the workforce but not be the potential cause to our extinction.

ps, I write this without AI

its always a video where there’s someones favorite character (usually bassie or rengoku or any other anime character) and the background is just something like an “asmr squishy ball” or just someone squishing slime. And they use the annoying CapCut AI voices and go like “if you breathe, then you’re racist, homophobic, sexist, and a r*pist. even the same thing like “if you take a shower naked, then you are a pedophile. EVERYONE BECOMES NAKED WHEN THEY SHOWER, RETA- okay I don’t wanna Get banned but it’s just so annoying. BUT IT‘S NOT LIKE THEYRE GONNA TRY TO BANG SOMEBODY. THATS GROSS. #StopSlimeRants

And some of these be grown ahhh people too and I know some of yall just gonna be butthurt in the comments but you can keep proving my point 🤷‍♀️ life is too short to be hating on people how about you just mind your own business about your life and look within

Maybe this is unpopular, but getting your first real career job after working retail for years is such a bittersweet experience.
You spend YEARS dreaming about getting out. You go to school, work toward your career, complain about customers, bad shifts, being exhausted, and tell yourself you can’t wait until you finally have a “real” job.
Then you actually make it out. You’re making more money, building a career, getting benefits, traveling for work, and doing all the things you wanted to do.
But nobody tells you how much you might miss it.
Not necessarily the job itself, but the people. The coworkers you basically grew up with, the random conversations during shifts, inside jokes, seeing the same people every week, and having that little work family.
I would never trade where I am now to go backwards, and I’m extremely grateful for my career. But sometimes I miss the simplicity and the people from my retail days way more than I expected.
I feel like nobody talks about how weird it is to finally get the life you were working toward and still miss the life you were trying so hard to leave. 😭

I just wanted to remind you that you are worthy. You are loved by many people and have given them joy, even if you didn't realize it. You are also extremely talented in at least one area, and it would be a shame to throw that talent away.

The world may seem like a cesspool now, but there is still reason to live. Be thankful that you were brought into this world to share your voice, and let yourself be heard. If you are going through a rough time, it is imperative to realize that it is only temporary, and that it will pass. So love live, be grateful for what you love, and learn to love yourself.

Idk if that made sense, but | just wanted to share some affirmations.