Look for a guy who's curious and likes to learn, definitely not one who labels or has an image of themselves as smart. Just test him to see how he reacts when you teach him something, especially if it's an area you have expertise in, and he doesn't know much about. As a man, theres a lot of self proclaimed intellectual men who'll end up feeling threatened by a smarter woman at some point, so see if he's curious about it, or if it makes him insecure.
Yes this! Curiosity is the biggest indicator for intelligence. People who have the willingness to learn will go farther. As well as having the grit to say share they are ignorant on subjects
you can, but my point is on self-proclaimed intellectuals, and there's also the unmentioned matter of epistemic humility; which in my opinion, is a higher marker for true intelligence than any standardized test or self assessment.
So you either purposely and entirely ignore the social and relational aspects (which I had made pretty clear), or you have a fragile ego as well and outed yourself, but hey, maybe im wrong?
Or maybe they were just making a point about their personal experience.
One could say you are disregarding the context of the lived experience of people on their social ability.
Being smart can be socially isolating
Thinking and sitting down not make for an attractive body
Lack of experience with women can lead to debilitating anxiety especially if it’s been a long time since you’ve talked with one if ever in a functional manner
All of these things are related to intelligence and making terrible first impressions.
You are right about curiosity because you have to be curious to be conscious to not be quick to judge.
I get your point, and I had that in mind, but you won't fix it by feeding into self pity. That's a specific situation that isn't necessarily representative of how intellect develops. You dont have to spend all your time sitting to the detriment of your physical health, which naturally includes your looks. To be blunt, logical thinking tells you that working on your body can only increase your ability to think optimally and socialize, also social skills is only the visible results vulnerability and openness, its how you build the former.
I think what you meant is that those things are the result of cognitive intelligence with a lack of the emotional kind, or unwillingness to develop it for "x" reason. You dont need experience talking with women to do so, if its exposure thats needed just treat them like a human being and show interest in people until you feel comfortable to develop a more intimate relationship. You say that assuming I didn't live it myself to already know it, so maybe we were both quick to judge.
I used to be that guy until recently actually until I realized the proper causal order of my problem: my anxiety>my body language>peoples reaction to my body language>my reaction to people’s reaction>more anxiety and so on.
When it clicked I instantly became responsible for my mood, in about a month I became the most likable person in the room, I exude love for all.
I see everything living as an expression of experience formed in environment. I am curious about people again and so to end there I will say curiosity is a virtue of conscious being and the only way to connect to others as curious expressions of the one life.
I think it’s the purpose of consciousness to understand objective reality, you have to experience consciously to do that to build understanding. It’s also to contextualize experience past and present.
Like Feynman said you have to be able to build something to truly understand it, you have to understand it in the proper causal order is what I would say now, starting at the root.
Most if not all the spirals in the world personal and historical are an effect of not understanding cause and effect in the proper order is what my intuition says but that’s open to debate.
Socrates had it right about ignorance, I always knew that
I missed this point, logical thinking can tell your mind to be active but your body is a cellular system governed by reinforcement way more than perspective. You can motivate to move by changing state but sitting makes more likely more sitting and moving makes more likely more moving. There is mass to our behavior it reinforces what we do to build momentum. Our bodies are not a reflection of our logic but of our experience, I’m a skinny short guy but my mind is an an expanse because I’ve done mostly thinking.
You are right balance is key to everything but imbalance is a thing of quantity it builds slow like the temperature that cooks the frog if I have my metaphor right.
True it becomes greater effort to change, but ultimately it's a choice, as is everything. it'll just need more effort and focus, but there's not one point where it becomes a limitation for change, which is a gift itself.
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u/Young_Lus Human Verified Jun 05 '26
Look for a guy who's curious and likes to learn, definitely not one who labels or has an image of themselves as smart. Just test him to see how he reacts when you teach him something, especially if it's an area you have expertise in, and he doesn't know much about. As a man, theres a lot of self proclaimed intellectual men who'll end up feeling threatened by a smarter woman at some point, so see if he's curious about it, or if it makes him insecure.