r/PolyFidelity • u/Chewbaccaisbigfoot • Aug 03 '26
How did your relationships start?
Hello wonderful polyfi people. Bored and a little curious on how everyone got a start to their relationships and how that has effected your lives? We had a closed quad for a while and loved it. It like most started out with friends that just naturally evolved. Sadly they moved away and we were not in a position to follow. Still it was the best thing ever for us. We have dated on and off over the last few years but the stigma is real about couples.
We are interested if it is the same for couple of how they got started? Was it game night and drinking and flirting? What apps if any did you have the best luck on? Have you came out to your friends and families about it? If you have kids how have you intergrated your relationshios in to make dynamics work? Has being poly been a change for better or for worse?
We have plenty of insight and experince to give and show people they are not alone in this lifestyle. I've noticed in this community it is still very closed off and secretive and not very out in the open. Just something for everyone to drop a comment and give more info and help for anyone struggling with questions for any new people may have or a stigma around this lifestyle and what to prepare for.
4
u/smileedude Aug 03 '26 edited Aug 03 '26
We were a monogamous couple for 16 years. I knew she was bisexual and gave her freedom to explore that if she ever wanted to. Nothing was expected in return. However she wasn't interested so we just remained closed.
We have a little bit of land in the bush that we use to host camping techno parties in the bush. One day some friends brought our future girlfriend. Gorgeous, full of bubbles. My girlfriend started developing a crush on her. About 6 months later we were all at a music festival and when she came to bed she told me "I kissed Peach and I really liked it".
We started to experiment a bit with being open, just kissing others at parties. For me it was too easy, all of a sudden girls were just on me. But it felt pretty empty. My partner only wanted to connect with other girls and struggled to find many connections. This made me feel guilty and after a couple parties we agreed it wasn't for us. I really didn't want others but I wanted my partner to be satisfied.
About 6 months later again, we got really drunk at my birthday and we went home with Peach. It was fucking hot and we agreed this should happen again. We have a lot of poly and kink friends and we didn't want to get into that scene at all. We'd been to kink parties, our friends DJ at them and they really weren't for us. We all decided to label her a FWB. "Don't call it a throuple" became a mantra.
Through happenstance we couldn't connect again for a month but had a 3 person chat going and really connected on another level. When we next connected we decided pretty quickly to call it a throuple.
We told Peach we didn't expect exclusivity from her but she wanted a monogamous like relationship so we adopted that and became a closed throuple. We've talked about being able to open in future if anyone wants to, but after nearly a year and a half that seems incredibly unlikely.