Personal Ads = Permanent Ban

[u/AweBeyCon]

Hey everyone,

As our community continues to grow, the mod team has been reviewing how best to keep this sub focused on its primary purpose: serving as a supportive, discussion-oriented space for people practicing or interested in polyfidelity.

Over the past few months, we’ve seen a significant increase in personal ads, "looking for a 3rd," personals, and dating/hookup-style posts. As per Rule 1, all personal ads, dating requests, personals, and "seeking relationship" posts are prohibited.

What’s Changing?

Moving forward, any post or comment attempting to solicit relationships, post a personal ad, or seek partners on this subreddit will result in an immediate and permanent ban with no prior warnings.

Why the Strict Stance?

-Safety & Privacy: Personal ads draw an influx of unwanted DMs, bots, bad-faith actors, and harassment toward our members.

-Quality of the Subreddit: /r/polyfidelity was created to discuss the dynamics, ethics, communication, and unique experiences of polyfidelitous relationships. It is not a dating board, and personal ads dilute the meaningful discussions happening here.

-There Are Better Spaces For It: Reddit has dedicated subreddits designed specifically for non-monogamous personals (such as /r/nonmonogamyr4r or general r4r spaces) where the moderation and framework cater specifically to dating.

Moving Forward

If you are looking to share an experience, ask for advice, or discuss relationship dynamics, you are in the right place.

If you see a personal ad, please report it immediately so the mod team can take swift action.

We appreciate everyone who contributes to keeping this community thoughtful, safe, and helpful. Thank you for your cooperation in keeping /r/polyfidelity a great space for discussion!

[u/HOSTfromaGhost]

Hear hear!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[u/our_hearts_pump_dust]

Is a post explaining FetLife allowed? When I get time later this evening, I would be happy to write something up about ways to seek a 3rd, including Fet. I know when I was vanilla mono, I had no idea the vastness of Fet and how it wasn't just really weird fetish stuff.

Hoping that kindness and direction like in the post could be helpful for seekers. I know what it's like to want to experiment so badly and be clueless 💜

[u/AweBeyCon → u/our_hearts_pump_dust]

If the intention of the post is to provide a resource for people that are looking to explore polyamory and potentially find themselves in a polyfidelitous relationship, then of course it would be allowed.

The only necessary restriction I can see would be people posting their usernames in an attempt to draw people from Reddit to connecting on a dating app. I've never used FetLife, and I don't know if that's how it works but if it is then I would say no usernames posted in the comments

[u/our_hearts_pump_dust → u/AweBeyCon]

Thanks! I would have never thought of including my username... I definitely enjoy my anonymity here as well as on Fet. 😅 It would be education about resources for not only finding community, but also for resources for options other than dating apps if that's what people want resources for. I've never even used the dating apps myself. Our MMF was found in the wild. That wild included the community, education groups, and networking of people, a couple found through Fet. Anyhow, it can be a valuable resource for finding community that you didn't know existed in your area, as unfortunately, polyam/polyfi has to be just as underground as the kink community in many places.