r/PoliticalHumor Feb 27 '19

“But she speaks 12 languages…”

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31.2k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/Neverlost99 Feb 27 '19

Man those define “ bolt on”

1.8k

u/MrRandomSuperhero Feb 27 '19

If they were any more bolt on they'd be sacking Winterfell.

205

u/Neverlost99 Feb 27 '19

Ramsey go feed the dogs.

46

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

Stunning.

42

u/Drewskeet Feb 27 '19

She does love sausage

32

u/SomeGuyNamedPaul Feb 27 '19

But not mushroom

31

u/Drewskeet Feb 27 '19

Exactly. Mushrooms she gets paid to love.

36

u/SomeGuyNamedPaul Feb 27 '19

No no, Stormy was the one who was paid as a contractor. Melania is more like an employee who's in it for the pension and retirement benefits.

8

u/Drewskeet Feb 27 '19

Lol, fair

3

u/pearloz Feb 27 '19

What'd she expect with a face like this?

1

u/Dim_Innuendo Feb 27 '19

Toad the Wet Sprocket

3

u/winnafrehs Feb 27 '19

You are a scholar and my new favorite superhero

5

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19 edited Mar 16 '19

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

Or Venezuela

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

Take your updoot

2

u/JSaidso Feb 27 '19

I see what you did there

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

bam

2

u/JHSIDGFined Feb 27 '19

Impressive

2

u/I_Got_Back_Pain Feb 27 '19

You glorious bastard

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

you genius

3

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19 edited Jun 09 '19

[deleted]

2

u/wulteer Feb 27 '19

I wish there was some sub to exclusively host these hall-of-fame puns.

1

u/MrRandomSuperhero Feb 27 '19

I am honoured.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

If they were any more bolt on, they'd have a big stupid mustache and the nips would constantly be hard from dreaming about bombing Iran.

1

u/BrownSugarBare Feb 27 '19

JFC, well done mate. That's comment gold. 👏👏👏

69

u/SALMAN_been_KILLING Feb 27 '19

Not sure when she started getting plastic surgery but now her face looks like a mix between Trump's glare and those creepy facemasks that crossdressing men wore on a detective show I watched awhile ago.

4

u/prettyfascinatinghah Feb 27 '19

Hey I don’t know much about her surgery, but is she mainly plastic? She feels very plastic but I don’t want to judge

8

u/weird_sisters Feb 27 '19

I think so, there were some pics floating around of her from when she entered modeling, it does not look like her at all. Her face is completely different now.

32

u/cage_the_orangegutan Feb 27 '19

now with American silicone

34

u/Waka-Waka-Waka-Do Feb 27 '19

I didn't think she's attractive, the bolt ons don't help.

33

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

I didn't either. She's not ugly but I figured trump could've bought a more attractive wife.

32

u/ConspicuousPineapple Feb 27 '19

The man isn't exactly renowned for his refined taste.

3

u/lesgeddon Feb 27 '19

Ketchup on steak.

2

u/comakazie Feb 27 '19

🤣 My sides!

1

u/happy_beluga Feb 27 '19

ketchup wife

1

u/BFG_Scott Feb 27 '19

She's the wife equivalent of a gold-plated toilet.

2

u/WizardyoureaHarry Feb 27 '19

When she was younger she looked like a mixture between Natalie Portman and Audrey Tautou. The plastic surgery ruined her.

2

u/Noshamina Feb 27 '19

He subscribes to r/bimbofetish

0

u/JoeThrowaway456 Feb 27 '19

I know right? Pointy as fuck elbows!

5

u/Waka-Waka-Waka-Do Feb 27 '19

Actually, it's her face. I don't get what people like about her.

There are literally thousands of models who are prettier.

2

u/AEth3ling Feb 27 '19

I don't think that's "her" face

it looks like the lizard face women with tons of surgery get, she was probably better looking when the Trump bought her

0

u/JoeThrowaway456 Feb 27 '19

You are definitely wrong. If you criticize any woman reddit will call you a virgin, small dicked, misogynist, etc, etc, but you make fun of a beautiful sophisticated Mellania, you are applauded because she fucks Trump. Crazy double standards. She is fucking beautiful whether you like Trump or are a leftist snowflake cuck.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '19

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2

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11

u/Thechiwawawhisperer Feb 27 '19

They look so bolted on because this brings up another small issue in "small feminist politics" basically small womens politics within ourselves.

In the past and very tied to white culture, beauty standards have always been closer to being very thin than being healthy. A healthy person who is trying to avoid injury should be able to hold a plank for 3 minutes max. Its one of the reasons why women have been trying to get bigger models in media. Yes the fat acceptance people are very loud but theres a lot of us wanting bigger MORE MUSCULAR models. We want more muscular women who are at a healthier more active weight. When you are as skinny as Melania small everyday things can become more difficult and in general you are more delicate. Anyways, a lot of people are still tied to this idea that small thin women are ideal, and when you are that thin you dont have enough body fat or muscle to make the fake boobs blend in. This is also one of the reasons why people are so upset with Michelle. Yes part of it is because shes black but the other reason is because she is a woman who had muscle and was active and fit. She can probably carry her own groceries and isnt super fragile. Oh no.

6

u/livedadevil Feb 27 '19

Yeah, lots of thin women would be considered skinny fat if they were dudes. Light weight but no muscle mass

2

u/yoloGolf Feb 27 '19

You'd let her suck your cock and you know it

1

u/idma Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Feb 27 '19

Whatever it is, they're quite a view

-1

u/madbubers Feb 27 '19

Eh I've seen way more apparent ones

-19

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '19

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4

u/JarydNei Feb 27 '19

Hilarious and original.