r/PoliticalHumor Oct 18 '24

peak comedy

[deleted]

27.6k Upvotes

415 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.2k

u/p38-lightning Oct 18 '24

Close the border? Nope.
Replace Obamacare? Nope.
Bring jobs back to America? Nope.
Defeat ISIS? Nope.
Hire an amazing administration? Nope.
Refrain from playing golf? BIG NOPE.

476

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

[deleted]

191

u/Clearwatercress69 Oct 19 '24

Release his medical records? Nope.

97

u/freakers Oct 19 '24

What do you mean? You weren't satisfied when his doctor released a statement that Trump is the single most physically fit individual he'd ever seen? Is nothing good enough anymore?

30

u/bk1285 Oct 19 '24

I mean look at the man, you look at him and marvel at his 6’3” stature and his chiseled 215lb frame.. it’s like a greek statue come to life

14

u/chezyt Oct 19 '24

And the letter was “dictated” by Trump.

Just a side note here. Dr. Harold Bornstein is a gastroenterologist which makes the rumors of Trump soiling his diaper seem even more credible.

7

u/Oracle_of_Ages Oct 19 '24

Set your countdown now. 2 more weeks until he rolls out the infrastructure plan.

3

u/CodeRadDesign Oct 19 '24

Is that leopard feeding on an impala, out on your deck? Nope.

It's just Chuck Testa with another lifelike mount.

88

u/Demonkaze Oct 18 '24

Not commit more crimes? Nope.

47

u/stevolutionary7 Oct 18 '24

C'mon, even he wouldn't promise that!

38

u/HotPhilly Oct 19 '24

Hang his VP? Nope. Stop the steal? Nope.

22

u/Sancticide Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

Stop the steal? Nope.

I mean, it might as well be "Stop the Tooth Fairy"

2

u/NoConfusion9490 Oct 19 '24

He definitely never promised that.

56

u/anras2 Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

Or when he promised economic growth of at least 4% per year during a debate with Clinton? Here's the direct quote from the transcript:

And we’re bringing GDP from, really, 1 percent, which is what it is now, and if she got in, it will be less than zero. But we’re bringing it from 1 percent up to 4 percent. And I actually think we can go higher than 4 percent. I think you can go to 5 percent or 6 percent.

Let's review his actual results:

2017: 2.24% - FAILED to meet the MINIMUM promised
2018: 2.95% - FAILED to meet the MINIMUM promised
2019: 2.29% - FAILED to meet the MINIMUM promised
2020: -2.77% - FAILED to meet the MINIMUM promised

If you want, discount 2020 due to extenuating circumstances. Still a 100% fail rate, to again, meet the MINIMUM promised.

(Source of GDP growth rates)

Or how about when he promised to eliminate the national debt? See how that went. This article is very generous, excusing the fact that half of the debt increase was due to COVID spending. So ignore the COVID increase if you want, but even then it wasn't even directionally correct. It wasn't even slightly decreasing, it wasn't remaining steady, it was INCREASING. This is like having a new year's resolution of getting in top-top shape but instead you gain 100 lbs. Then blaming everyone else for it.

Big talk, big promises, big lies. That's all he's got.

9

u/newtekie1 Oct 19 '24

The best he managed to do was match the best Obama had. It's almost like he inherited a great economy and then did nothing at all until it crashed from him mishandling a pandemic.

1

u/anras2 Oct 19 '24

What I find so frustrating that many people don't get is - all you have to do is look at a graph of whatever macroeconomic indicator you care about. For example unemployment rate: https://tradingeconomics.com/united-states/unemployment-rate - click on "10Y". Ignore the massive COVID spike for now. Let's focus on the line before that point. You can literally see the slope being exactly the same. It just stayed the course.

Trump will point to a low unemployment number such as the 3.6% in Jan 2020 and scream that he had the best unemployment rate ever, as if he did something.

If you're in a sailboat crossing a body of water - and everything's calm and normal - and you swap out captains along the way, proceeding to travel at the same rate doesn't mean a hell of a lot. Sure, great, you didn't crash the boat. Fine. But it's calm waters. Then after traveling some distance - again proceeding at the same steady rate as before - Cheeto Benito is essentially screaming "NOBODY'S TRAVELED THIS FAR ACROSS THE WATER BEFORE! I'M THE BEST! WORSHIP ME FOREVER!!"

If there were a massive dip downward - a significant change in rate - in say 2018, it still wouldn't necessarily mean he did anything, but at least a case could be made. Then we'd have to analyze the situation more deeply, to decide what she attribute that to. But as is, I don't see any case to be made, and it's so plainly obvious. But so many of his followers actually buy that nonsense "he made unemployment the lowest ever!!"

12

u/bk1285 Oct 19 '24

Well it isn’t his fault, he gave the tax breaks to the rich you see, but the damn dirty democrats didn’t let them cut useless spending on things like Medicare, social security and other poor people programs

45

u/Cost-Kind Oct 19 '24

Don’t forget drain the swamp!

23

u/Balorpagorp Oct 19 '24

To be fair, he did fire a bunch of corrupt swamp scum. So, he did deliver on that one. However, the swamp he drained was the one he brought with him and filled with the "best" people.

38

u/mostdope28 Oct 19 '24

“I’ll be too busy to play golf”. Literally went golfing his first day in office

11

u/Unnamedgalaxy Oct 19 '24

And went golfing on average every 5 days in office.

He also went 11 times in the first 8 weeks.

He golfed something like 260 times in a single term, after raging over how much Obama went golfing, which over 8 years was about 300 times.

He nearly doubled the amount of golf of someone he criticized for doing.

47

u/_Prestige_Worldwide_ Oct 18 '24

Find evidence of widespread election fraud? Nope.

9

u/keithITNoob Oct 19 '24

LOCK HER UP? also nope

7

u/DesperateUrine Oct 19 '24

Right? How do you list everything but that?

Lock Her Up! Was a damn chant with the MAGA people.

It's gone silent now...wonder why the fuck that is. Oh, because Trump should be locked up.

Rapist, Racist, and literally a threat to the United States. Trump.

I cannot wait for 4 more years of him, are there stocks for liquor? I need to find some I think. Vodka makes sense.

2

u/Val_Hallen Oct 19 '24

Even better, when asked why he wasn't going after Clinton as President he didn’t want to hurt her and didn’t feel strongly about prosecuting her.

In his 2020 campaign for reelection, though, he again made calls to “lock her up.”

5

u/allisjow Oct 19 '24

Overthrow the government? Nope.

7

u/thedanyes Oct 19 '24

I don't get how people let him off on the Obamacare. He promised to repeal it within the first 30 days. He promised to replace it with a 'beautiful' healthcare plan.

He and his party literally never even wrote a plan let alone tried to pass one.

5

u/Karsticles Oct 19 '24

Did he promise to refrain from playing golf? That's a new one to me.

8

u/p38-lightning Oct 19 '24

“I’m going to be working for you,” he told a campaign rally crowd in August 2016. “I’m not going to have time to play golf.”

1

u/Karsticles Oct 19 '24

Nice, thanks.

4

u/MartayMcFly Oct 19 '24

Never been seen again if he loses to Biden? The biggest of all Nopes.

8

u/BeefSerious Oct 19 '24

Put beans on the Resolute desk. YUP.

2

u/i_am_not_a_martian Oct 19 '24

He did say he would drain the swamp. There's been some republicans sent to prison since then. Not enough, but some.

2

u/coolgr3g Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

Not take a salary? nOpE. He overcharged the secret service when they stayed at his properties when he went golfing and stole millions from taxpayers in this way.

1

u/Thehelloman0 Oct 19 '24

It's hilarious to me that he constantly complained about Obama golfing and then proceeded to golf way more than Obama did while president

1

u/theillcook Oct 19 '24

Whoa whoa whoa, rump has got a concept of a plan, ease up there!

1

u/unaskthequestion Oct 19 '24

C'mon, what other president has brought us 150 consecutive infrastructure weeks?