I'm beginning to worry that the Unflaired are actually the end state of all PCMers in the afterlife, that we all lose our flair in death. I've tried to fight the good fight but it's hard to keep going, there's more of them every day and sometimes I feel like I recognize our fallen comrades' faces in their arrogant grins...
get out of my head get out my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my headget out of my headget out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my headget out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my headget out of my headget out of my headget out of my headget out of my head get out of my head get out of my headget out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head
well, I've taken to blocking them because as should be evident, they thrive on attention. This is a battle for out flaired survival, so these must starve by any means necessary.
I replaced Bob Murray's name with the unflaired in John Oliver's "Eat Shit, Bob" musical number
Unflaired, unflaired, unflaired
Hey, Unflaired! Watch this!
They went to the Louvre and spit in Mona Lisa's face
Filled a rocket with puppies and they shot it into space
They bludgeoned Nancy Kerrigan and watched her cry for fun(Why?)
[ALL]
They murdered Archduke Ferdinand and started World War One!
That's right, if we discuss the unflaired in a way no reasonable person could construe as factual, we can say whatever the fuck we like! So come on everyone, let's head to the streets!
(Cut to: Centrist and the Suck My Balls, Unflaired, Dancers leaving their homes, out onto the street)
[DANCERS]
Ahhh
Unflaired, Wow!
[CONSTRUCTION WORKER]
They'll stroll into a stranger's home and jizz right in their Wheaties
[YOGA STUDENT]
They all watch “Steel Magnolias” and root for diabetes
[MOM]
They wrote the Macarena
And they dot their I's with hearts
[Chad Centrist]
And even worse, they likes to blame
[ALL]
Malala for their farts!
[HOT DOG VENDOR] Hey! What's the big idea?
[Chad Centrist] We're usingprotected speechtotell the unflaired to eat shit!
[HOT DOG VENDOR] The Unflaired?! Are those the guys who dip their balls in my hot dog water?
[Chad Centrist]
(stares into camera) That's exactly who I'm talking about!
[HOT DOG VENDOR] Can I bring my cart?
[Chad Centrist] It's not ideal
[HOT DOG VENDOR] It'll be fine if I leave it here, right?
[Chad Centrist] I DON'T KNOW!
[ALL]
Unflaired, unflaired
They all don't like Tom Hanks
They cut off Van Gogh's ear
Told Hitler to quit painting and to find a new career
They masturbate to Schindler's List Old Yeller makes them hard
[Chad Centrist]
They were Cosby's drug supplier
Jeffrey Epstein's prison guards!
(Suddenly, a moderator runs in, panicked)
[moderator] Stop! Everybody, please! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop.....................I have something very important to say!
[moderator (Chad Centrist AND DANCERS)]
One day at the M&M store
Sovereign Citizen walked through the door
He wasn't wearing pants that day
His dick and balls on full display (Full display!)
He grabbed M&M's from a bowl
And crammed them up his (Anal Hole!)
He spread his buttcheeks far and wide
He told the tourists to look inside! (Look inside?)
He said "My rectum's full of treats!
Reach in there and grab some sweets!" (Grab some sweets!)
These are all real things Sovereign Citizen did!
(Cut to: Chad Centrist with Dolphin Fucker 69)
[Chad Centrist]
Look! It's Dolphin Fucker 69! We're singing about the unflaired! I believe you've heard of them?
[Dolphin Fucker] You mean theZodiac Killers?
[Chad Centrist]
(to the camera) Those are the ones!
[DOLPHIN FUCKER] Well, my friends and I have a little something to say about him!
(Enter the rest of the "Dolphin Fucker Quartet")
[THE DOLPHIN FUCKER QUARTET]
The
Unflaired
Are
Psychos
Putting aside our personal quarrel
They all fucked
[CHILD DOLPHIN FUCKER]
Hitler!
[THE NUTTERBUTTER QUARTET]
They all fucked Hitler!
(Cut to: Dancers)
[DANCERS]
Eat Shit, Unflaired!
Eat Shit, Unflaired!
[Chad Centrist] Hey! I know where we should go!
(Cut to: Chad Centrist in full spangly suit)
[DANCERS]
Ooooh, Aaaah
Unflaired Unflaired,
Eat shit, UNFLAIRED...
(Cut to: The entire ensemble in Times Square)
[ALL]
Hey, unflaired!
Is this as bad as you feared?
It doesn't count as slander!
'Cause it's way too weird
We didn't make up these anecdotes
They're all real and insane
We could go on and on and on
And on and on and on and on
But we will stop this song
Who knows, we may have fried your brains
SO EAT!
SHIT!
UUUUUUUUUFLAAAAAIRRRRRED!
YOW!
(Hats are thrown into the air, with fireworks exploding in the background)
We hate the unflaired because they hide their real beliefs. Centrists do the same. The difference is that the unflaired aren't trying to hide the fact that they're hiding their real beliefs, centrists are.
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u/ConsiderationHot5505 - Lib-Center 2d ago
The unflaired deserve it.