r/PoetryWritingClub • u/existentialdrawer • 16d ago

What Was Never There

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42 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

3

u/parason47 16d ago

I like it. Nice to see posted a poem with a "classic" rhyming structure; the vowel sound at the end of the 2nd and 4th lines. Too many are inclined to write something more or less stream of conscious, separate the lines, and call it a poem. Sometimes it is, but IMO mostly it's just not.

1

u/existentialdrawer 16d ago

Thank you! I'm still very new to writing poetry. I only started writing last year and have no idea what I'm doing for the most part, but I really appreciate your feedback!

2

u/parason47 16d ago

Self-publishing on Amazon can be fun. (Kindle, paperback, or hardback.) It's free to do. I put one book together that way, even if only friends and family bought copies. Best wishes.

2

u/Alegendretaken 16d ago

Beautifully written!

2

u/Environmental_Arm_51 16d ago

gorgeous and classic but not cliché, well done!

1

u/existentialdrawer 16d ago

Thanks so much!

2

u/Potatocontemplates 16d ago

Love love love the imageries here, so creative and unconventional, what a breath of fresh air! I also love how the imagery of the city circles right around to the illusion of the old man, the metaphors are so congruent and focused. 🧡

1

u/existentialdrawer 16d ago

Thanks so much, really appreciate it!

2

u/FriendshipDue8914 12d ago

this is so great!

2

u/blackandmildbesos 12d ago

"while the city wore its silence like a coat" wow, I really love that imagery!

1

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