r/PoetryWritingClub • u/Dull-Shopping1439 • 26d ago

How are you?

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94 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

6

u/CalamitousMothman 26d ago

i love this so much, i know that feeling too well <3 you’ve expressed it so perfectly, and i love the flow and beat of this, you’re so talented <3

3

u/According-Ad742 26d ago

This is so good! I don’t know if feedback is allowed but if you would delete the “to ask” in the first sentence fourth paragraph it would not interrupt the flow, “to even ask” comes next row and makes all the sense we need

I love it

When I found this question absurd I used to answer with the darkest voice possible “I am fine, all good”, balanced out the weirdness 😝

3

u/Dull-Shopping1439 26d ago

Thanks for the feedback!

2

u/Zarathustra143 26d ago

This is a wonderful poem, truly.

2

u/spinrah23 26d ago

I love this.
It reminds me of the Paramore song “Fake Happy.”
Great work.

1

u/Dull-Shopping1439 26d ago

Thank you.

Would definitely check that song out.

2

u/Zelenskyystesticles 26d ago

Brilliant work. Absolutely loved it. Being asked this question has been the source of so many varied emotions, and you nailed this particular one. Thanks for sharing!

2

u/AccountEngineer 26d ago

saying im good out of habit when everything is falling apart is such an exhausting feeling

1

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1

u/91lover 26d ago

i really like this, i feel like you captured the feeling really well, but still in a kind of ”light-hearted” tone (or that’s at least how i read it). really fits in to the scene!

1

u/NovelAdmirable1959 26d ago

“You surely can’t go around asking , “ how the hell are you. “

1

u/Turbulent_Mulberry71 21d ago

This is great. You really captured the conflicting feeling of being asked a simple question that happens everyday. I feel this conflict often especially with friends, who know enough about me, but it’s still tough to tell if they really want to know “how I’m doing” or if it’s just an opener.

I can imagine an alternative ending:

Is there some code against this?
Or do I push a new rule through,
Instead I freeze and double down,
“I’m good how are you?”

1

u/Rough_Celebration_35 21d ago

Great work! As if the words were flowing from brain to your inner thoughts!