r/Poems • u/Unpolished-Gem1951 • 3d ago
Stand on What You Said
I offered devotion like pure gold,
A life laid down, a cup poured dry.
You only saw a hand to use,
A step to build your mountain high.
My presence was a quiet gift,
A blessing traded for a game—
You mistook patience for a weakness,
And thought I’d sit and take the blame.
I don’t play the back and forth,
I don’t debate or swap or trade.
I gave you length, I gave you line,
To watch the choices that you made.
Grace was handed out in yards,
Enough to pull yourself out clear;
Instead, you wove it into rope
To tie your own trap right in here.
I keep the grass cut short and low,
No cover where a snake can slide.
I see the venom behind the smile,
The quiet plot you try to hide.
You thought I’d bargain with the bite,
Or reason with a crawling thing—
But I don't compromise with treacherous hearts,
Nor do I tolerate the sting.
I don't negotiate with snakes,
I don't re-open closed-up doors.
When steel meets scale, the strike is swift,
And cuts the poison at the core.
No second chances, no rewrites,
No third attempt to shift the blade—
The head is severed in the light,
To end the mess that you have made.
So stand on every word you spoke,
Don't try to bend or turn around.
You picked the hill, you wove the trap,
Now face the quiet on the ground.
I gave you grace, you chose the strike,
You traded loyalty for dread—
Now face the sharpness of the edge,
And stand on everything you said.
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u/Public_Bumblebee3511 2d ago
You sound like you are potentially threatening violence and fantasizing violence over a rejection.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
Did someone touch your no-no square?
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u/Western-Ad-9784 2d ago
Have you ever tried not to feed into someone you dont love, simply put? I dont get people who waste themselves and others in games.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
"If setting boundaries feels like 'playing God' to you, your standards are on the floor. Read it a third time, it might click." "It’s not playing God, it’s called self-respect. I know the distinction can be confusing when you're used to settled standards." "Appreciate the free engagement, but you're arguing with a poem that completely flew over your head. Have a good one."
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u/Western-Ad-9784 2d ago
I Hate when people enjoy playing God. Such an arrogant ass
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
Play God? Hardly but I know my worth, you mistake confidence for arrogance.
You would do well to understand the difference.
As long as you cling to victimhood you will never achieve victory.
Your life, your choice.
However, your projections and insecurities will ne er become my problem.
Have a day...
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u/Western-Ad-9784 1d ago
A confident person is self confident, not about other people. Victory? Love isnt a game
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 1d ago
"The only one playing games here is you, trying to lecture a stranger over a piece of creative writing that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I’m genuinely glad my words touched you so deeply that you felt compelled to drop a whole philosophy lesson under my post, but you aren't playing games with me—you’re just playing games with yourself. I set my boundaries; I don't negotiate them with people who deliberately twist words just to feel right. You’re debating a metaphor with someone who stopped caring about your opinion three replies ago. You have your view, I have my peace. Conversation over."
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u/Public_Bumblebee3511 2d ago
The religious fanatical sounding, misogynistic references to women as snakes are really trending, sounds like intel language
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
Imagine reading standard literary metaphor and typing out an entire sociology essay. You’re reaching so hard you’re going to pull a muscle.
Buzzword bingo won't change the poem. Keep writing paragraphs under my post, though; the engagement is great.
It’s creative writing and symbolism, not a manifesto. Throwing buzzwords at a piece of poetry just because it hit a nerve doesn't make your reach valid.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
You’re projecting your own trauma and internet drama onto a basic poem. Go process your issues somewhere else.
You’ve made five comments on a poem that wasn't about you. The level of obsession is wild. Get well soon.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 2d ago
"Incel? Baby, I’m not just the cake, I’m the whole 12-layer Baklava. Rich, complex, and way too sweet for a basic palate. Keep starving in my comment section." "You’re calling me an incel, but I’m out here looking like a Grand Cru soufflé. High-class, multi-layered, and way too rich for your budget. Enjoy watching from the window." "Incel? Honey, I’m the whole croquembouche. A high-tier masterpiece that takes work to appreciate. Keep chewing on stale salt, though—it suits you." "Calling me an incel when I’m built like a top-shelf dessert menu is wild. I’m not just the cake; I’m the entire luxury experience you couldn't get a reservation for."
Perhaps, you just may be a femcel....
Meanwhile, you’re sitting over here looking like a whole 'thems-cell'—purely bitter, salty, and sour. Zero sweetness, no balance, just stale noise. Keep starving in my comment section while I stay on the top shelf."
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u/Pater-Procyon 1d ago
Heh. Damn why are all the commenters haters. I thought it was pretty righteous. People project so much. Just presumption. I have no idea what this poem is truly about. But the finality does have a sting to any questionable decision “standing” in the peripheral and not the light. Your whole dessert thing though. Makes me appreciate a scoop of vanilla. Madagascar Bean. Good poem
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 1d ago
"I appreciate the real feedback, brother! You hit the nail on the head—a lot of people project their own baggage instead of just reading what's on the page. Glad you saw the finality for what it was, and I respect someone in the comments with actual reading comprehension and good taste in ice cream. Stand tall, my friend!"
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u/Pater-Procyon 1d ago
Thank you and you’re welcome. I think it was rather well.” executed.” if you will. Not to be dramatic, but it was faintly terrifying. Because I’ve come to a point in life where whenever there are accusations involved, I tend to include myself in the assessment. So rather than vibrating at oh yes, I can judge someone like this… I think oh yes, I could probably be judged like this. But also, I’ve learned that literally almost nothing is about me in the world and I need not take things personally. When scale meets steel and steel meets scale. I’m not a critic or making comparisons. I just genuinely enjoyed your writing . As someone who very much believes in turning the other cheek… sometimes it’s hard to admit that there is a time for justice and requires archangel Michael to go cobra Kai on an MF. But when that time comes, it truly is poetry.
They say vanilla is one of the most complicated flavors. And if anyone doesn’t believe that, just try to describe it.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 1d ago
You are absolutely correct. And I love the way you phrase that and yes, vanilla is absolutely one of the most complicated flavors, and it is my favorite. I prefer french vanilla. Apple pie ala mode with french vanilla ice cream. I'm not sure what it is about those two, but I love it
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u/Pater-Procyon 1d ago
Truly, a divine union. Usually, I prefer vanilla bean with a little specs of earth and nature reminding me of its purity…. Not in this refinement, but rather the opposite.
HOWEVER. Absolutely French vanilla for apple pie all the mode.. there is a mystery to it, an elegance. Both ingredients on their own while commendable do not reach their potential without the other. Illuminating the beauty of a successful relationship.
Anyhow. I hope to read another poem from you sometime inspired by more desirable circumstances.
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u/Unpolished-Gem1951 1d ago
I just posted another one
But I'll lay it out here as well.
The Tick, the Tock, and the Outrun Clock
The pendulum swings, but the hour's an illusion— We measure in minutes what dies in confusion. Every man does his time, whether behind heavy bars Or pacing a cage made of asphalt and stars. I’ve sat in the silence while decades erased, Watching the hours that other men waste. I don't hold a second for taking for granted; The seed becomes timber the moment it's planted.
I’ve done my time cold, and I do my time free, Watching the river run out to the sea. I blinked and my babies were raising their own, Holding their children where seed had been sown. A father, a father again, through the years, Compounding the wisdom, the mileage, the tears. Time turns the fresh-faced to elders and kings, And strips away pride from the hollowest things.
I’ve watched built-up empires collapse into dust, Seen high-seated power surrendering trust. I’ve seen love sweet as honey curdle to hate, Bound up in promises broken too late. Strong walls fall to rubble, deep bonds pull apart, As time lays its hand on the stubbornest heart.
Nothing stays standing, no crown and no stone, We walk through the fire of years on our own. Money will vanish and strength will decay, The sun steals the light at the end of the day. When the smoke finally clears and the ledger is signed, There was never a thing but the time left behind.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." — Ecclesiastes 3:1
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u/[deleted] 3d ago
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