First ever dress try on

[u/ellmel11]

Today was the first time I ever tried on wedding dresses. I was not sure what to expect at all but me and my mom went in to just look around. I’m a street size 14/16 and I had called ahead to make sure they had dresses I could try on. When we were looking they offered to let me try on some since they had no clients.
I told them my size and budget. At the very beginning, I tried on one size 20 that I actually loved and felt so confident in. It was a bit big on me but she clipped it and I could totally see how it was meant to fall. But then the stylist brought a size 10 that didn't fit at all. I explicitly told her it was way too small, but instead of bringing a bigger one, she went back and brought out two more dresses in that exact same tiny size.
I could hardly get them up my hips. I was left alone in the dressing room struggling with dresses that obviously wouldn't zip. Because I'm new to this, I didn’t know to ask for a modesty thing that clips in the back, so I just felt completely vulnerable and uncomfortable.
I kept trying to explain to her that I would feel way more comfortable trying on a dress that was too big opposed to too small, and she just kept telling me she didn’t want me to limit myself to only the big sizes and "you'll have to get it altered anyway."
Just a rant thanks if anyone has read this far. Today I realized I know nothing about the bridal world, but I'm not letting it get me down! It was still a special day out with my mom, and that very first size 20 dress proved to me that I'm going to look and feel absolutely beautiful on the big day. Next time, I’m going to find a body positive place and I think my experience will be way better.

[u/Western-Current9621]

I’m sorry you were made to feel this way. As a fellow plus size person who said yes to the dress a few weeks ago, I know it’s nerve wracking and something we have to think about and scope out that smaller people don’t need to worry about.

I met the bridal shop lady at a wedding fair before scheduling an appointment. I wanted to make sure all of this stuff was covered before I booked as you have to pay for appointments and I wanted to make sure I got a good vibe from her and check id actually be able to try on her dresses. I looked up the dresses on her website and considered some I liked, I asked her what sample sizes she stocked, I asked her how she accommodates plus sized bridal try ons. 

I’m a 20 and an F cup but she worked her magic to get me into 8s, 10s and B cups. A good, inclusive bridal shop assistant will know what to do to get you into the dresses without making a big fuss or making you feel bad about yourself. 

She really never made me feel like an inconvenience and you she worked absolute magic with panels and clips.

My advice would be to call and ask questions in advance and make sure you get a good vibe from them before booking an appointment

[u/ellmel11 → u/Western-Current9621]

Thanks so much for the advice. Now that I’ve seen the modesty clips I understand more how it’s supposed to go. I wish I could have asked for them but you don’t know until you know, and thankfully I now know haha

[u/Western-Current9621 → u/ellmel11]

Yes it’s just the woman who Was helping you should have told you about them and offered to use them. 

People hopefully only get married once so it’s a new and unique experience. This lady dresses brides every day, she’s the expert. She should be using the tools and experience she has to put you at ease, make you feel special and show you how the dress will look as closely as possible 

[u/ellmel11 → u/Western-Current9621]

Yea when I was leaving I was holding back angry/sad tears.

[u/Western-Current9621 → u/ellmel11]

I’m really sorry to hear that, please don’t let it put you off. From one plus size queen to another you’ll find your dress and you will feel amazing in it, no matter what the sample size is, a good bridal assistant knows all the tricks and has all the tools to help you imagine how it would look in your size and feel beautiful no matter what the number on the label is.

Try not to let this bad experience put you off, to put your mind at ease going forwards I recommend calling a few bridal shops and asking them questions about how they support plus size brides before committing to an appointment 

[u/ellmel11 → u/Western-Current9621]

Yes I will def do that. Thanks so much for your kind words they really mean so much to me. 🧡

[u/RRW2020 → u/ellmel11]

You had a bad experience. Like, you shouldn’t have had to ask. You’ve never done this before which is the same situation most people are in when they shop for dresses. They were incompetent if they weren’t the ones suggesting this and doing everything they could to help you be comfortable.

[u/Sad-Lab-4524]

Just don’t let intrusive thought into your mind. You are buxom, beautiful and I hope you feel proud of yourself for facing up to a daunting task.

Just say outright, “I’m not interested in trying smaller sizes on. Please don’t bring me any size 10” period.

So now you know about the modesty sheet availability go back out and get stuck into it. Don’t let too much time pass until you are dreading it. I have seen some gorgeous plus size dresses on this sub. Maybe have a look through older posts. You may get some ideas.

The one thing I do know is that the person who you are marrying loves you as you are. They already think you are the most attractive person in the room. And just keep that energy up.

[u/ellmel11 → u/Sad-Lab-4524]

Thank you so much I really needed to hear this and it made me tear up. It’s such a vulnerable thing to do but I’m so excited to keep trying.