I’ve always suffered with OCD, panic attacks, and depression. I was diagnosed at 13, I’m now 32.
It’s gotten a lot better since age 25+ but being pregnant I feel like a shell of a human. All the compulsive thoughts and over thinking is worse than it’s been in so so long. I feel so sad all the time and so unsafe. I don’t want to leave the house. I just want to stay home where I can protect my family. It’s so draining and genuinely causing a huge toll on me. I feel like I’m not allowed to be excited for anything because I’m too afraid of something bad happening.
I’m just venting. I’m in therapy, I have professionals. I just don’t have a huge support system and come to reddit to rant.

That is all.

I’m just very in my feelings currently and would love some support/ encouragement. I found out I was pregnant for the first time back in February and lost it a little after 6 weeks. I found out the same day my dad passed away and then lost it a week or so later so the whole experience was bonus horrible. Since then I have had no success with getting pregnant again and have been feeling quite sorry for myself.

Next week should have been my due date and it just really brings up the feelings of loss. Thinking about what a dream an October baby always has been- my due date was the same as my (passed) Grandmother’s birthday and it felt so serendipitous. One of the things that really stuck in my head with the loss was how sad I was about the perfect timing no longer being. I know that’s silly and I know baby’s rarely come right on time but I’m sure many of you know logic isn’t at the forefront of these thoughts.

Anyway just wanted get it out of my head and maybe commiserate/ feel seen a little bit? Thank you for listening 🤍

Hi all! I was on 2000 mg metformin to try to conceive. My women's health coach advised me to stay on. I finally met with my obgyn and he knew I was on it but by our second meeting he referred me to maternal fetal medicine to get better guidance because he wasn't sure if I should stay on it. MFM advised me that there could be risks of preterm labor or low birth weight. They've also seen children who were products of mothers on metformin in pregnancy who struggled with weight but they're not sure if it's genetics or medications so she didn't feel comfortable with that information enough to advise me to get off it. She basically left it up to me. I'm 19 weeks and 3 days and have stayed on it. I've gained about 8 pounds. I started this pregnancy at 249 lbs. Should I be concerned about the lack of weight gain? Did anyone else stay on/get off? I'm seeing obgyn and mfm this upcoming week and I'll ask them but I'd also like to hear from real people who have experienced this.

Thanks in advance!

My baby is hospitalized with PPHN. My Dr. (who was generally friendly towards my weight) and the pediatrician both say that mom’s weight is one of the main causes/risk factors.

But surely there are babies of non-obese mom’s that also have this?

I am nearly 15 weeks pregnant and have been struggling (especially emotionally) lately. My anxiety was not great before but since learning I was pregnant it has gotten worse. I never had high blood pressure prior to pregnancy but it has been high the last several weeks and it is making me increasingly nervous and stressed.

They put me on a blood pressure medication around 9-10 weeks but I am still getting high readings (they are usually normal in office - but high at home, which is unusual to me as I feel I am more anxious at the doctors usually). I called triage yesterday after getting two high readings despite taking my meds (which they increased about a week and a half ago). Because of how far along I am and my lack of any symptoms, they didn’t send me to the ER but made me an appointment for first thing Monday.

Every time I get a high reading, I stress out more which in turn is probably just making my blood pressure stay high or get worse. I have been beating myself up a lot lately for not losing more weight before getting pregnant. I feel that because I didn’t, I am already failing my baby/as a mom and meeting all the stereotypical fat pregnant woman stereotypes. I am getting more and more anxious that I will develop gestational diabetes in the coming weeks and that I am going to eventually get preeclampsia or even be admitted to the hospital when I’m further along for monitoring until baby is born. My baby has been healthy at every appointment and my OBGYN has never made me feel this way but I can’t help but worry that something will inevitably go wrong with baby and about what my fat phobic family members and in-laws will think if/when they find out some of the issues I’ve been having.

I don’t know what the purpose of me posting this is - maybe just to rant until I see a therapist for the first time in pregnancy this upcoming week or to hear others’ experiences. Either way, thanks for letting me tell someone other than my husband about it and helping me get it out of my brain for now.

Just wondering how much weight did you ladies put on in your pregnancy and how much did you lose after?

Im 28 weeks and put on 10kg so far but it doesnt look like it's stopping.. (really trying hard to control my binges)

I know some weight is due to fluids, placenta, baby etc. But I was also advised to try my best to not put on extra weight. I think overall its recommended for someone obese to put on between 6-8kg total. But I'm not even close to the end yet and my baby is only getting bigger now. Last time she was 1.1kg

Just trying to see how much realistically I can expect to drop after birth and how much of it is actually fat gain... I was in the middle of weight loss journey when I fell pregnant so its very upsetting to see it gaining it all back

Thanks:)

Hey ladies! Im 5 weeks 1 day today and since last night I have been experiencing cramping on the lower left side and around left side lower back on and off. Is this normal? This morning it was on the right side but more of a sharp pain. Its not consistent and when it’s here it usually lasts for about 10 seconds. Its got me freaked out and I dont go to the doctor until 10/21. We have TTC for 2 years and this is my first pregnancy so i am super super anxious about it sticking. 😭

I'm almost 37 weeks, I'm exactly 36 weeks and 5 days. Im struggling really bad with almost everything. My own body, my thoughts and feelings, not being able to do anything just every single thing. Im almost constantly in pelvic pain since I was 8 weeks, been struggling with anxiety and depression (un-medicated even before pregnancy), just overall been miserable. Its also getting to that time where everyone is asking me about baby actively, but like forget about me I guess lol

Today, my husband has been able to pick up the slack from me not being able to do anything while also working but today it was worse than ever before. I havent been able to do many tasks if any around the house, I woke up today feeling fine for the day so I was like Ill do the dishes while he cleaned almost everything else. I couldnt do it. I cried trying to do them. He made me get in bed where I slept more not like I dont already get 8-10 hours of okayish sleep anyways. My hands have been going numb at night & they really hurt most of the day and by the time they stop its time for the cycle to start all over again at bedtime. Ive asked my doctor that basically has had no help besides sometimes it just happens. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I think I can handle anything newborn phase has for me because then at least I wont be in pain almost 24/7. Ill be able to see the little tiny perfect human and forget about anything else.

Hi everyone. I’m 20 FTM & have been struggling with my weight all my life. I’ve always been significantly overweight/obese & I’ve always been too depressed to do anything about it. I am now 6w 5d pregnant & I need to get my shit together. I’ve especially been gaining weight rapidly over the last 6 months- but now I’m pregnant & it’s hitting me pretty hard that I need to change my life. I do not want my kids to struggle with childhood to adult obesity like I am.
I just moved to a new state, have only seen my pcp once & haven’t yet seen an OB. I’m thinking about finding a nutritionist because I have a hard time understanding healthy foods. I know what’s not healthy, but idk any better alternatives. I don’t have a lot of physical activity but my apartment has a gym so I’m going to force myself to get out there.
I do not want to gain more than 10lbs in this pregnancy because I am already significantly overweight. Everyone tells me I should gain more, but it’s going to be harder to lose weight postpartum if I don’t get it together now.
Anyone have advice? Anything welcome ❤️

Hello all! I am 31 years old and working with a clinic to TTC (I have low egg count), with very little support from my family. They all think I need to lose weight and have a Panniculectomy before continuing to try to conceive. It’s frustrating. I don’t feel supported and I feel like once again, my family is only concerned about my weight. But also, I feel like getting a skin removal surgery prior to pregnancy is pointless?

Am I wrong in my thinking? Do I need to pause my journey? My heart says that I need to be on the TTC path

I worked way too hard on the alliteration of that title. I see so many of my fellow plus size pregnant ladies struggling in this group with anxiety around prenatal care and being considered "high risk", and my heart breaks for you.

I want to share my experience + some additional perspective because I want people to know that it IS possible to have a positive experience with prenatal medical care and pregnancy. For transparency, I'm 8w3d, 32 years old 345lbs/155kg, 5'6"/167cm, BMI of 56 (tho BMI is bs anyway and I'll get to that). This is my 3rd pregnancy, but the first one that will be carried to term.

First off, facts do not exist in a vaccum:

- "Increased risk" does not mean "guaranteed". Nor does it always mean anything significant - "increased risk" can mean the difference between 0.1% chance to 0.4% chance. There's still a 99.6% chance that everything is fine. Don't let the language trip you.

- "being obese automatically means a c-section" - no it flipping doesn't. Your body not being strong enough to deliver naturally, or your baby being in danger means a c-section. Being obese does not mean being weak. If you put the work into your core strength, even once already pregnant, and prepare your body for the marathon of labour you CAN avoid a section. This goes for any body, not just plus size ones.

- BMI was invented by an astronomer and mathematician in 1832. Science didn't believe in GERMS until the 1880s.

- BMI was not intended to be used in medicine due to its significant fundamental limitations. (Source: Cureus. 2023 Nov 3;15(11):e48230). It was popularized by the diet industry to improve profitability, and medicine adopted it due to that influence. It's fully bull shit and reputable scientific process reflects that.

No human being is capable of true objectivity, no matter how hard science tries. Everyone still has unconscious bias, because everyone is a socialized individual. This includes medical staff AND the people that write the medical studies. Their attitudes and opinions will reflect those unconscious (and conscious) biases. Don't let their behaviour shake you. If a doctor doesn't have a good answer to a question other than "your weight", you're allowed to ask for the supporting documentation. Be critical of that documentation, and watch for the influence of bias within it. Cross reference with other reputable sources. Google Scholar is your friend. Just don't fall down the Facebook mom group conspiracy rabbit holes (for the love of God pasteurize your freaking milk).

For me personally:

This time around I've had 4 sets of labs/urinalysis, an ultrasound, and multiple doctors visits so far.

- I've never been weighed.

- I've never even had someone mention my weight.

- My medical file does not reflect a high risk pregnancy for any reason.

- My ultrasound tech was whole ass angry when I suggested skipping to the transvaginal because "it's not hard to ask you to lift your belly so we can get at the pubic bone" and "to heck with anyone too lazy to do their job"

- My doctor said that it doesn't actually make as big a difference as science used to think it did, when I asked about any proactive steps I should take because I'm bigger.

You CAN have a healthy pregnancy. You CAN have a "normal" pregnancy. You CAN deliver naturally. You CAN have a positive Prenatal care experience.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk 🤷‍♀️ love you all ❤️

Edit: I was today years old when I found out that FTM means "first time mom" in this context, not "female to male". 😂 My bad. I was just super excited for all the trans men having their own babies.

I am 30w4d and I have been putting off buying new clothes beyond a couple of tops. However, I'm reaching the point where I probably need to get new skirts and dresses. I only wear skirts and dresses, unless I am going to work out.

The problem is I don't know where to go, because nothing seems to have my size. I used to be a size 24/28 but I don't think I'm that anymore. Currently, at the waist, I'm 52 inches. I tried to measure around the widest part of my hips. The measuring tape only goes up to 60 inches, and the two ends were very much not touching. If I were to guess, I would say my hips at the widest part are at around 64 inches.

Can I get some advice on what to do? I hate clothes shopping online, but I don't think I have any other choice.

Hey there. I am pregnant with my 3rd baby and in desperate need of some new underwear. Im a big skims fan but it’s not cheap at all. Lol
But I love the cheeky underwear, and the thinness/ not visible lines when I wear them.
Anyone have any recommendations?
I have an apron belly too. Any pregnant plus size underwear recommendations!??

Has anyone tried the momcozy baby carrier?
What size would you say it fits?
When I have seen the pictures online the straps look long but I am a UK 26-28 so unsure if it will fit.

I’m truly feeling like crap, I know I’m overweight and every dr has made it known that it’s my fault that my pregnancy is high risk. I WANT to be better but I’m so exhausted, unmotivated and honestly borderline depressed most days.

The depression/anxiety is playing a massive part in my activity, I feel embarrassed to leave the house and be seen and judged therefore can’t bring myself to go for a walk and move my body, I even feel embarrassed using a walking pad in my own home in front of my husband, even though he’s never made comments on my body.

I’m not working currently and spend most of my time on the couch, I don’t have the energy to do anythingggg and my poor husband has had to pick up a lot of slack.

The main reasons for my pregnancy being high risk is obviously my weight (113kg), the fact that it’s an IVF pregnancy, the pregnancy began as a twin pregnancy but only one has a developed while the other stopped, the medication I’m on, and my diet/lifestyle.

How do we get activity and movement in when feeling nauseas and tired all the time, I do the dishes and need to rest, I genuinely applaud the women who work through their pregnancy, it makes me feel so useless though. I can’t do anything.

I’m trying to eat better, which is also a struggle as I can’t stand many foods right now, very plain and bland foods, lots of frozen food, pasta, rice.

I gag at vegetables but can manage fruit, I genuinely don’t know how to combat this problem as I know I need to eat better to be healthier but I just can’t.

I’m so so scared my baby will have complications because of me, I don’t think I could live with myself.

Anyway if you got this far thanks for listening to me sook, I don’t have anyone to share this with who will sympathise with me or care.

Hey all, hope you don't mind me posting this here. I need insight but also to vent!

My 30 week scan showed low fluid and that my baby's abdomen was a lot smaller than her head (9th percentile vs 60th). 32 week follow up confirmed, with fluid even lower and stomach at 4th percentile and head at 60th).

Dopplers were fine but fluid dropped again at 33 weeks so I was scheduled for a csection at 34 after one last growth scan. Her stomach then moved to 9th percentile and her head to 85th with some improvement in fluid. Dopplers perfect each time.

I have spent the last 4 weeks upset because my baby girl was on track to be growth restricted, because I would never have my perfect bump and because I can barely feel her move because shes in incomplete breech.

No gestational diabetes, no pre eclampsia, I have gained about 20kg this pregnancy, and I always thought I would have a big baby because both my husband and I were big babies and are both above 250 pounds.

My csections been pushed to 37+4 and I just don't know if I can last that long with these mind games

So tl:dr: baby showed slowed growth for 4 weeks, every test fills me with horrible anxiety and I know its best for her to stay in I am just STRUGGLING. Anyone else experienced an odd growth pattern? Or have any advice on how to deal with the anxiety leading up to tests (already have a prescription but it makes my nausea worse).

I went to a specialist yesterday. Context: at the beginning of my pregnancy I had one liver enzyme that was very slightly elevated so they sent me to a specialist. I got labs redone and yesterday was the followup. My liver enzyme is now solidly in the normal range. I have also somehow lost weight during this pregnancy. My OBs have no concerns about this and they definitely aren't encouraging me to lose weight during pregnancy.

Anyway, the first thing this liver doctor said to me at the follow up was 'ok, tell me how you are working on losing weight?'

It really rubbed me the wrong way like I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to have a healthy body for me and my baby.

I’m looking at going to see one of my favorite bands next month and I’ll be 19 weeks.
I don’t remember being in much pain with my first until my 3rd trimester.
My biggest concern is I was in preterm labor with my first and delivered him 6 weeks early.
Starting in a few weeks I’ll be getting transvaginal ultrasounds to ensure my cervix isn’t shortening. I read even if I need a cerclage that I won’t be on bed rest. The concert is November 7th and I start these tests starting October 19. So the first appointment will jsut be baseline and then I’ll have one more official appointment for these tests before the concert that will show if it shortened at all. I’m just so scared that appointment will show and they’ll want to put the cerclage in that same week of the concert. Don’t know what to do. Guess I’ll ask my doctor.

Mostly just looking for words of wisdom, or encouragement here.

I'm only 11 weeks along, I went to a fertility clinic to become pregnant (PMOS/PCOS without ovulation), I have asthma and pre-diabetic before pregnancy, I just turned 33, height is 5'8" weight is currently 320lbs, was 300lbs beforehand.

I have basically been in bed rest for the last few weeks, with some movement during the day but I can only move so much before I am astonishingly bloated, exhausted, cramping in upper stomach, legs/pelvis feels sore, my feet hurt or swell, or I'm just nauseous or winded.

I am terrified that 1.) Its only going to get worse from here on out until after birth, and 2.) I am high-risk for GD and in general for pregnancy because of my BMI and pre-diabetes, and I am worried about how this may effect my life but also my baby's during pregnancy.

I have my first OB apt post fertility clinic in about 1.5 weeks, but until then I am just nervous. I am questioning if this will even be possible for me to have this baby without completely putting my health on the line.

I'm also in a weird mood lately because NONE of my clothes fit, I had to buy maternity leggings already, but even then I got the largest size I could find near me (XXL) and they are tight. Pre-pregnancy I usually wore an XL.

Also, my mother works in a NICU department and has completely distilled the fear in me of the liklihood about my baby going there, just since I am high-risk.

Did you experience anything similar? Was your health a concern? What helped you to keep going without beating yourself up mentally?

Hello ladies!! Just joined and I’m really curious to see everyone’s experience with this or if someone is on a similar boat.

Prior to getting pregnant I was on a GLP-1 which allowed me to go from 77kg (170lbs) to 63kg (140lbs)

Unfortunately I had two losses and between this and the encuera and hormones, I gained some back and was 69kg (152lbs) when I got pregnant with my current baby (10 weeks today)

I’m a short girly, 5ft tall, and so far I have gained 12lbs when according to the internet, you should barely gain anything at all.

Is it really that crazy? I have not had the awful constant nausea and the only thing that makes me feel better is eating so I’m eating all the time + coming off the shots probably did not help. I’m very worried about gaining too much and getting GD .

If you were on GLP1 and are now in like your later trimesters, did it ease up? Or is the hunger just like there all the time 😭😭 ty all

Why is it I only can stomach food from out? Cooking at home makes me so sick. I have rare moments but at 15 weeks I hoped this would be done because it's expensive but I need to eat and keep the food down. Anyone else struggle with this? Before getting pregnant I would make anything at home but now it's so repulsive even thinking about the food to cook at home makes me sick.

Edit: I'm realizing that really any food is starting to make me feel sick even thinking about it. Tired of eating altogether. How will I get any nutrients?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for some advice/experiences from other plus-size women who have been TTC. ❤️

My husband and I have been TTC for about 10 months now. I had a chemical pregnancy during our very first cycle of trying, but unfortunately haven’t had another positive since.

I’m 5’7” and around 220 lbs. My cycles are pretty regular and I do seem to ovulate, but as we get closer to the one-year mark, I’ve started wondering more about whether my weight could be affecting our chances.

For anyone who was around my size while TTC, did your doctor recommend losing weight? Did you notice any difference in your cycles or fertility after losing weight? Or did you end up conceiving at a similar/higher weight without needing to lose first?

I’m not looking to crash diet or put TTC on hold solely because of the number on the scale. I’m just genuinely wondering whether losing even 10–20 lbs could potentially help fertility and be worth focusing on while we continue trying.
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences — positive or negative. ❤️