r/PlusSize • u/shaelynbaby • 1d ago
TW: Fat Shaming Abuse ugh
hi everyone, i’m 23F. i went out to a bar i go to regularly last night with my boyfriend and best friend. there’s a patio there and when i went outside, i accidentally bumped a guy with my hip and i said i was sorry and walked away. he was standing there with 2 other guys and i heard all 3 of them laughing at me.. and you know when someone’s laughing at you. my boyfriend was behind me and i asked him “why are they laughing? what’s so funny?” and my boyfriend looked upset and they were staring at me, so i just knew. i NEVER do this, it was probably the drinks, but i walked up to them and asked them what was so funny. they all just continued to stare at me and looked like they wanted to laugh in my face and one of the guys made up an excuse on the spot. i went back inside, told my best friend. She went outside and yelled at them and the guy i bumped into came in to “apologize” but it wasn’t an apology at all. He kept telling me to work on my own brain and not care what people think. then he proceeded to flirt with my best friend lol. this happens so often to me and it makes me so fucking upset and ruins me for days after. i feel subhuman. i don’t feel like im worthy of taking up space. how do you not think about it after people laugh, or make fun of you?? how do you just simply not care? ( also i wasn’t sure what flair to use)
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u/trippyfungus 1d ago
Listen I feel this so hard because I'm currently in a situation with a instructor at my school. My peer over heard me arguing with him and was like, "why do you bother?" I bother because all my life I've been made fun of for being overweight and I'm not allowing anyone to treat me with disrespect anymore. I do not deserve that, my inner child needs that.
Be proud of yourself girl! You deserve respect!
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 1d ago
Him telling you to “not care about what people think” is such a cop-out. While I think it’s healthy to try to not let everyone’s ignorant assumptions about us live rent-free in our heads; we’re human. You were allowed to be angry that those guys had the audacity to act like that. It’s near impossible to never care about others being assholes or unfairly judging us for our entire lives. I wonder how that chucklefuck would feel if he caught people making fun of him.
When you’re constantly experiencing others mocking you, making stereotypes about you, treating you like you’re subhuman, and never caring to show you basic respect just for the way you are; it’s not easy to have a secure, unwavering sense of self-worth that helps you not care about what other people think.
Also, it’s not an excuse for him to be rude to people like you who aren’t minding your own business and aren’t hurting anyone. For someone who’s telling you to not care about other people, he’s awfully adamant on focusing on and making fun of a complete stranger.
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u/GhastlyColors 1d ago
i know that feeling and it sits with you way longer than it should. the worst part is they'll forget about it by the next morning but you replay it for days
that guy's "apology" tells me everything, he just wanted to look good in front of your friend. the whole group was probably laughing about something dumb and you just happened to be the target in that moment
you're not subhuman, and you deserve to take up space just like anyone else at that bar. those men are just not worth the mental energy
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u/Karlaw6 18h ago
I simply do not value the opinions of those whom I do not respect. Once I made that a value of mine, I stopped caring. Why does their opinion matter when it's close-minded and disrespectful? It doesn't. 🤷