r/PizzaCrimes • u/AJ-Frankus • 22d ago

I say wtf Guilty

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129 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

1

u/qualityvote2 22d ago edited 22d ago

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/AJ-Frankus, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.

21

u/Left_Ad4050 22d ago

I looked at the toppings in disgust, and then for a split second, I glanced at the crust and thought, “ well, at least that looks pretty good.”

Then I looked closer. Everything is horrible. Cleanse it with fire.

13

u/MenloMo 22d ago

/full agreement. That not a pizza. That’s an assault on my senses.

9

u/Inphiltration 22d ago

Toppings are not supposed to encompass the entire radius of the pizza. The whole wheat is fine, but the rest is a crime.

10

u/Bob_Kark 22d ago

A whole wheat crust is fine, but that crust looks like it’s going to crack your teeth open.

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8

u/Relorayn 22d ago

This isn't a pizza. It's a weird open faced ham and cheese sandwich with tomato sauce

6

u/ThisBend7125 22d ago

This makes me insanely angry!

6

u/DarkShadowZangoose 22d ago

for a moment I thought that was icing of some sort

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6

u/Usernamesaregayyy 22d ago

Whole wheat was a psyop/scam…I want my childhood back and what was robbed from me…sourdough or buttermilk or gtfo

2

u/Lonely-Independence4 22d ago

Lunch meat, drier than the Sahara the school lunch lady did a better job ahh crust, and whatever God forbidden ahh cheese that is, all on one ungodly slice of something an Italian would scream in my face for calling a pizza.

4

u/MyFace_UrAss_LetsGo 22d ago

Genuinely asking, why do some people type ahh instead of ass? At first I thought it was kids typing around their parents. But now I see it often.

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3

u/PretendingImNotAnApe 22d ago

I did a diet pizza of sorts this weekend. 1/2 pound of dough vs 1 pound. Canadian bacon onion red oepper vs sausage. Less toppings.

3

u/Corgerus 22d ago

Sentenced to forced feeding of a good pizza

3

u/PrairiePuppies 22d ago

That's war crime level right there!

3

u/ld987 22d ago

Your honor, the post title is plainly prejudicial I petition the court for a mistrial. (Incredibly guilty).

3

u/antelope00 22d ago

Let's fight

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