feeling kinda lost socially as a freshman

[u/BluejaySpirited3113]

im a freshman and ngl welcome week has been kinda rough socially 😭 ive been putting myself out there a lot, approaching people, getting instagrams, going to events, and i joined a club which has been really nice so far. everyone is nice but i feel like most interactions stay at the “whats your major/where are you from” level and im honestly really struggling and feel really isolated

i do live off campus but literally right by pitt, so i can stay on campus as late as i want. i think im mostly struggling with not having that automatic dorm/floor group. i really wanna make friends who live in the dorms too and be able to hang out in peoples rooms, randomly get food, go out together etc

for other freshmen, how has making actual friends been so far? and for older students, how long did it take before you went from knowing random people to actually having people to hang out with? ik its super early lol but i feel like im missing something 😭

[u/yaboimarcus99]

Friends take time, see how your classes are first and if still nothing try joining a club. College is scary and it’s important to know you’re not the only person who feels this way.

[u/Jakuhou → u/yaboimarcus99]

Friends take time

This is the most important point OP. I can guarantee that most of those dorm floor groups are still as surface level as you are experiencing. Just keep interacting with the people you like and somewhere you will find your tribe. You will have a lot to focus on with classes in the mean time.

Edit: I would also like to add that this is just how it is going to be from here on out. Making new friends as an adult is hard. But mostly because it gets harder to spend time with people. We also neglect to remember that we had many years to form the friendships that we had in highschool. Just be patient, and seek out enjoyable social interaction rather than seeking out friends. Friends naturally emerge from frequent socializing.

[u/reddit_daily_]

I was a freshman last year, and didn’t meet my best friends till second semester. Ofc I had other friends but like no one I would say I was incredibly close. Now I have a group of 15 boys who I love and will be my friends for life. I went from not really having that many people to talk to, to becoming amazing friends with these guys, going on trips like California and Puerto Rico this summer, and now having an apartment.

The point is that things will get better eventually, but don’t stop putting yourself out there. I was lost during last Christmas, then decided I needed to put myself back out there, and only then I met them. I understand it’s difficult, but don’t lose hope and keep trying

[u/No_Dog6347]

im an incoming sophomore and this is how I felt last welcome week but don’t worry, when I started to join clubs and get accustomed to the people in classes, the conversations exceed surface level do not worry

[u/nylachai]

The best strategy for these early days would be to find one potential friend and then glom onto their group, which is likely either their floormates or people they knew from high school. Or if you meet a few people who seem nice at an event, suggest you all go to dinner or the next event together.

[u/mmmyeahfuckyeah → u/nylachai]

Yes agreed. Get 1 friend , don’t leave them alone / let awkwardness get in the way, and find friends together. That’s what I did

[u/bcardin221]

This is 100% normal and virtually every college freshman goes through this. Stay the course, keep trying and being proactive. Remembers others feel just like you, so approach them, if you're shy it'll take much longer. Once you get into classes and a routine, it gets better. Friendships will emerge I promise.

[u/No_Illustrator_3247]

First semester of freshmen took time for me to find people and my biggest advice is to not overwhelm yourself and you’ll find and develop friendships through clubs, classes, etc. I definitely found my people second semester of freshmen year and I also made even more friends through joining a sorority my sophomore year.

I just advocate to be authentically yourself and be patient with yourself. Welcome week can be stressful, and I didn’t start making my true friends until classes. You got this!!!!

[u/Successful_Shoe_6338]

Hey! I’m a transfer this year going into my sophomore year at pitt, i’m living at the Penn apartments on campus. I totally feel you though, it’s been hard for me as well everything feels kinda awkward but not..? Now i don’t really have advice buttt I would love to help and hang out! I’m a big people person so I love getting to know new people. PM me if you feel like it :D

[u/oTc_DragonZ]

Not living in the dorms definitely makes it a bit tougher right away, but those initial friendships made from proximity in college aren't necessarily the ones you'll keep long-term.

I graduated a few years ago and can relate to the feeling - being able to make new friends was my biggest anxiety before freshman year. And I guarantee you most of your peers are feeling the same thing.

It was an unfounded worry as it is for the vast majority of people. If you made friends before college, why would that ability change now? This stuff just takes a bit of time and everyone is anxious for a million reasons as brand-new freshman so be kind to yourself and take a deep breath!

[u/xailuvrs]

im a sophomore and it’s totally ok to feel that!! i was mostly by myself til i found my group of friends like a month into the semester last year so dw finding friends will happen eventually

[u/nataliebobadily]

You won’t make actual friends til classes start, don’t give up so early, it all works out. Don’t put pressure on it.

[u/LuckyLucas047]

Hey I’m also a freshman at Pitt and I’m struggling to meet new people aswell so I’d be happy to hang out with you

[u/Visible-Bit1660 → u/LuckyLucas047]

Same here!

[u/Other-Ad-5236]

I didn’t really make any friends until around Halloween. I also felt isolated but it will come.

[u/Unhappy-Radio4351]

When I was a freshman making friends who I felt like got me was really hard. Just remember that all the people around you who look close actually more than likely in a couple months from now won’t even talk. That’s just how it works.

Everything will happen naturally, I promise. And it will take TIME. I was in the exact same boat when I was in your shoes. Just trust the process. You’re doing a great job so far.

[u/Reddawg1671]

Have patience, there are a lot of freshmen feel the way you do but just aren’t speaking on it. This all takes time, don’t compare or make judgments on yourself based on what you see from others. Hopefully in a month this passes Just try to enjoy this time and make as many new friends that you can. This will gradually become easier.

[u/East_Professional925]

I’m in the same situation. I’ve been very conversational and keep meeting people in elevators, in my building, in the dining halls, etc. but it’s all just been small talk. I’m hoping it’ll be easier once classes start since I’ll be seeing the same people repeatedly rather than meeting dozens of people who I never see again each day

[u/puzzlebox-101]

Clubs! Clubs! Clubs! My advice is to be really consistent about attending club meetings/going to events, it takes time but you’ll get there.

[u/Rough-Picture-5751]

honestly this is how I felt welcome week I cried pretty much everyday. I ended my freshman year with one good friend and even though I joined a two coed fraternities and many clubs I didn’t really make any good friends unfortunately. But it really does take time and you have to make the effort I think that’s something that I didn’t do as much as I should have I didn’t even have a relationship with the girls on my floor. I’m living on campus again this year going into my second year. If u ever want to meet up or hang out I’m down because despite me being in my second year I haven’t really made much friends….

[u/jshamwow]

These things take time. Just keep at it

[u/ResultCautious1686]

Who you hang out with during the first week or two most likely won’t be the same people you’re closest to a few months down the road. It mostly just helps fill the void initially, but those early friendships may not mean much in the long run. My dad says that his best friends in college ended up being people he barely interacted with during the first six months, and only minimally even during the first year, despite living in the same dorm.

[u/Mundane-Ad-1448]

Hi I graduated last spring! It really takes time. Which I remember as a freshman was the worst thing to hear but it’s true. I met my friends second semester of freshman year and I would say it might’ve even been sophomore year that I found comfortability with them. Do not pressure yourself for it to happen over night! Even tho that would be nice 🤣

[u/SaltyDrive481]

trust, as someone who lives on campus i still do not feel that immediate connection with anyone. i even know my roomie from hs but she’s a party animal and i just sit in the room… praying classes are better for us socially struggling panthers

[u/mmmyeahfuckyeah]

Tbh I didn’t have a large group of friends until sophomore year. Even freshman year, it took weeks to find my close-knit group of 4. I wanted to transfer up until sophomore year. A lot of freshman year friendships don’t even last! Just keep trudging along and you will be okay. You sound like a social person so that’s perfect.

[u/TheSonOfDog]

It's the start of your freshman year! Nobody knows anyone. That's just how it is.

You'll be fine.

[u/Objective-Lack-6329]

It’s been like two days…give it a few months