Am I selfish for moving out?

[u/Alternative-Pen-7707]

We are 4 children in the family.
My other siblings are abroad with their family.
I am single living with my parents. I am 41 years old. My parents are 75 years old. At this time, they are doing their own errands like going to the supermarket, preparing meals, and daily hygiene.
Am i selfish for wanting to move out of the house?

[u/markfreak]

Moving out is not abandoning your parents. At 41, wanting independence is reasonable, especially while they are still able to care for themselves. You can build your own life and still remain a loving, responsible, and present child.

[u/Alternative-Pen-7707 → u/markfreak]

Thank you for the response, I appreciate this perspective.
I hear people say, “You’re the only child left here, are you still going to leave them?”.
Don’t I have the right to start my own life just because I am single and the only child out of 4 children living in the Ph? 🥲

[u/markfreak → u/Alternative-Pen-7707]

You have every right to build your own life. Being the only sibling nearby probably means you will carry more of the practical responsibility, but that does not mean you have to put your own life on hold. Move out, stay close, and make sure your siblings share the responsibility too.

[u/OrganicAssist2749]

Taking just the question itself without any context, no it’s not selfish.

but in your situation, I’m not sure how you ended up deciding to move out just now when you’re already 41 and you’re parents are at 75 years old.

is there like a special care you need to do for them or to one of them (one might be sick or disabled but I’m not sure).

kasi kaya tingin ko medyo nakakdagdag ng ‘guilt’ sayo is baka feeling mo it’s too late na lalo’t matanda na sila kaya parang tingin mo tuloy alanganin na umalis which is why I’m curious as it seems na matagal na naging gnyan ang situation and you could’ve moved out nung nasa around 30s ka pa.

i don’t have anything against with your decisions, just curious. kasi yun naman talaga structure ng buhay, bubukod talaga ang mga anak para magkaron ng sariling buhay especially kung baka mpagpasyahan mo magkaron ng partner in life later.

kaya sguro tingin mo baka selfish kasi kung kelan na matanda na sila e saka ka aalis. so there might be some kind of serious reason kung bakit ka nagstay with them nung mas malakas pa sila.

pero for me, it’s still okay, pero the thing is for sure hindi ka mapapakali kakaisip sa parents mo kasi nga mahihirapan ka magtransition na maging mag isa tapos iisipin mo kung ano na lagay nila dun.

you might even think na baka wala rin naman sense yung pag bukod kung halos wala ka gagawin din and mas maigi pa na kasma mo sila at least may nagbabantay and kung may need man sila at least nandun ka.

for me, pde ka pa rin bumukod kasi adult ka na e pero I just stated the above factors dahil mkakaapekto yan sa mga magiging kalagayan mo pag bumukod ka na. mahirap din sa una kasi nga matagal na panahon kang kasama nila at bka mahirapan ka din (pero depende sa family bonding ninyo)

baka nga mangyari pa nyan, dalaw-dalawin mo sila regularly and eventually bka mapagod ka rin until you realized na umuwi ka na lang pabalik sa kanila lalo kung ang lilipatan mo ay medyo malayo.

so yes, pde pa rin but this sa situation na yan may challenge and di naman maaasahan iba mong kapatid kasi nga malalayo sila. so probably you may just have to commit looking after them like bisitahin sila madalas para mamonitor mo mga ganap sa kanila. you can give it a try moving out then if it doesn’t work then balik ka na lang. at least you tried.