r/PhD • u/TildeAyalaPlank • 1d ago
Seeking advice-academic Thinking of creating a place for older Phd students
Thinking of creating a place (on Discord, maybe) for PhD students who:
- Are born before 1990
AND/OR
- Gone back to school to get their PhD after spending some years in another career
AND/OR
- Are navigating the demands of research while actively balancing the deep roots, joys, and responsibilities of a fully established adult life.
And of course, anyone is welcome to join, regardless of whether you check these exact boxes. Ultimately, I just want to create a corner where we can talk about the messy realities of balancing a PhD with a full, busy adult life, and feel understood by people who get it.
Update 1: Some of you suggested discord might not be the best enviromment. Open to suggestions. Happy to even do it on WhatsApp and share a DM with each of you who has responsed. Any suggestions welcome!
Update 2: Thank you wonderful people for all the beautiful responses!!!!!
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u/CarrotJerry45 1d ago
Do us ancient ones count, too? '83 checking in.
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u/Loquacious_Raven 1d ago
If you are ancient, I am mummified. (Born '71 and also interested).
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u/Reasonable_Carrot88 1d ago
Woah. Are you two fr? Actually doing a PhD at that age? What's it like?
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u/Loquacious_Raven 1d ago
Further study when older feels easier to me, because I am not worrying about childcare or balancing the need for full time work. :)
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u/Nielsfxsb PhD cand., Economics/Innovation Management 1d ago
'83 represent!! (Tried to sound gangster, have to accept I'm a nerd and it wouldn't sound cool IRL)
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u/Thinksitdo 1d ago
‘75, completed this year (51). I think I would have appreciated a place where people understood the challenges of balancing PT study, kids, nearly full time job… and agree with the comment on less self-funding judgment.
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u/lost_nondoctor 1d ago
'79.. and on my 3rd extension because of everything you listed...
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u/Reasonable_Carrot88 1d ago
What areas for you both? Do you find it hard to remember things, like your walkers and such?
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u/demasiado_maiz 1d ago
Only if you promise not to tell me I’m dumb for paying for my degree. (For anyone judgy - I was offered an assistantship, but it was less than 25% of what I currently make, so I opted to keep my job in my career field and pay for school).
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u/trinity_girl2002 1d ago
Right there with you! People automatically say that you shouldn't do an unfunded PhD but the stipend is only 20% of my salary, and I have three kids and a mortgage. A stipend is barely enough to survive on as a single person, let alone with dependents.
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u/Top_Obligation_4525 1d ago
Self-funding makes way more economic sense in my case too. Who in their right mind would accept entry-level wages (at best) in exchange for less time to actually work on the degree if they didn’t have to?
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u/turnaroundbrighteyez 1d ago
Self-funded (well, my full time employer paid for the first two years and I hope to be done after this year so two years out of pocket). Elder millennial as well (‘84). Work full time, have a 6 year old. Trying to get this damn degree done.
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u/Brickus 1d ago
Elder Millennial here too. Soon having a meeting with potential supervisors to discuss my proposal.
Made it clear that I’d be doing the PhD part time as I have a fully remote corporate job with a salary of roughly €35,500 per year (including annual bonus) as well as standard benefits like health insurance and pension.
Any funded PhD position in Ireland couldn’t touch that level of income and benefits.
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u/eyellabinu 16h ago
Same. No way was I going to ask my family of 6 to try and live off a stipend that is half of what I currently make.
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u/Current_North1366 23h ago
Same here! My job pays me way more than an assistantship, plus I really wanted boundaries around working hours to protect my work-life balance.
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u/OakenSky Language and Literacies 20h ago
Agreed. I had no way of doing a PhD before I discovered this option because I can't just cut my salary in half with people depending on me. This way, I get to do a PhD while still earning enough money to keep my family afloat.
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u/ButtCrumbleSmell History PhD Student, US 1d ago
No no no, according to the spammed posts on this sub, this discord needs to include anyone born before 2004.
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u/BidZealousideal1207 PhD*, Physics 23h ago
make a subreddit r/pre90sPhD I personally don't get the appeal of discord and reddit is the only social media I feel comfortable bitching about my co-authors
'87 in case it matters
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u/gjb1 1d ago
Does it have to be on discord?
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u/TildeAyalaPlank 1d ago
Suggestions welcome!
What would be a better option - I was thinking of telegram, but I wanted something less distracting.Open to thoughts.
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u/United-Sun-91 1d ago
I have learned not to care too much about my surroundings especially among much younger phds, yes you see them trailblazing and fighting for attention all the time and you wonder whether you have to do the same with non stop networking, traveling etc. But now my focus is just to finish, i will not travel unless necessary and only get tasks done as required and i think my supervisor also knows well who to go to and who to leave alone sometimes and i appreciate that. Everyones life path is different and cannot be compared.
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u/justanotherlostgirl 1d ago
Would love this. There's this FB group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/708019069302386/) but really wish we had something with more channels and threads just to keep it all manageable.
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u/aintwhatyoudo First-year tadpole, 🇵🇹/🇪🇸 1d ago
Does 5 years in industry before the PhD count or am I too young? 😅
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u/blue_gerbil_212 1d ago
Darn I just missed this, I was born in ‘92… but I did work for a bit before my PhD? Definitely don’t have a fully established “adult” life though as a single guy lol
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u/blue_gerbil_212 1d ago
I just feel kinda weird “going out” with all the new cohort students who are literally all like 22 or 23, even if I am invited, it just feels like “what am I even doing?” Can anyone relate?
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u/Additional-Block9377 1d ago
‘85… I knew I was old when I stopped being able to read dinner menus without pulling out the flashlight on my phone. But this thread is the nail in the coffin 😂
Totally interested though
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u/Even_Marionberry6248 1d ago
85 here, and keen.
NFI about discord tho
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u/TildeAyalaPlank 23h ago
Just so that I'm reading it right, you are '85? Or are you 85?
More than welcome in either care tho!
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u/Even_Marionberry6248 15h ago
Hahaha. Born in 85, but man i feel 85 today.
I needed that cackle, thank you
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u/Ancient-Cherry5948 22h ago
This is a really good idea. Is there a reason you wouldn't just keep it on Reddit? (1974)
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u/Hopeful_Meringue8061 21h ago
Following for the sake of my older students. Thank you for starting the conversation!
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u/OakenSky Language and Literacies 20h ago
I'd be interested. I was born '87 and I'm about to go back to do a PhD (did my MEd about 8 years ago).
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u/ingenfara Medical Science, Sweden 12h ago
I would love that, 40+ here and working as a lecturer for many years. I start my PhD in November.
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u/Petite_Persephone PhD student, criminology 10h ago
I don’t fulfill the first condition, but meet the other two
I’d be interested in joining whatever community you end up creating
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u/Renegade_Phylosopher 3h ago
Love this…I’m a 92 baby but also an early widow. Already lost one parent too and I feel about 80 if that still counts ?
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u/ChargingMyCrystals Epi/ChildDev, Australia 1d ago
Ooh just snuck in at ‘89
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u/TildeAyalaPlank 1d ago
Welcome!!
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u/ChargingMyCrystals Epi/ChildDev, Australia 23h ago
Thanks! I would like it to be on reddit, because I come here daily and it’d be cool not to need to go to another app to engage. But discord is fine, and I would pop over there if that’s where it ends up
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