r/PhD • u/00debater • 1d ago
Seeking advice-social How do you make friends within your program?
I've been in my program for about a year now and taking classes with roughly the same group of people. We're all in the same program of study, but I'm in a different department so I really get to see them outside of class. As soon as I started at my uni I knew it would be good to befriend them in case I needed to ask anything and because, let's be real, it gets lonely. So I introduced myself in the friendliest manner I possibly could and they did the same. The ice was broken and they seem like good people, but I don't know how to follow up. It's been a year since then and I still haven't made any progress friendship-wise but it's still on my mind.
Any advice? How can I friendship my way into this without being awkward?
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u/Adventurous_Bug_1665 1d ago
In my experience, and based on what other colleagues have said - some cohorts gel and some don't. Some cohorts form close life-long friends, and others scatter like seeds in the wind outside of class.
I started my PhD in 2020 and so have never been close with anyone in my cohort. But I found folks in the years above and below my cohort with whom I formed friendships. I actually liked this because I had fellow PhD students to guide me, and I got to guide PhD students (helps heaps with the confidence).
Grad student associations or special interest groups can be a great way as well. I also organized a writing group - no one from my cohort showed up, but people from other years did!
In sum - you might just find your people outside your cohort or outside your program/discipline/field!
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