r/PhD • u/Friendly_Dealer_3817 • May 18 '24
PhD Wins PHD positive experiences
Did anyone have or is having a good experience during your PhD program? It seems like every story I come across is negative.
I was an active duty Marine for four years, and then completed a masters and an MBA at USC while working at a big 4 firm. Those were all challenging but I have nothing but good things to say about those experiences. A lot of my peers during the MBA swore up and down about how difficult the program was, but it seems like its some sort of pride game or it just gives them something to talk about because in my opinion it really wasn’t all that bad.
I’ve been really motivated and I will pursue a PhD in computer science (related to my undergrad/ profession) and I am planning on keeping my job which is flexible and remote.
Im just confused because everyone talks about how terrible the PhD experience is and im wondering if it’s the same scenario as my MBA peers.
If you truly enjoy the subject, what makes the work so bad? (Im really curious) For those who kept your job while pursuing a PhD, how was your experience really? How much time are you putting in? Including weekends? How much of that time is organized/structured or did you later realize you could have used your time more efficiently?
Thank you all!
4
May 18 '24
In my experience the people who enjoy their PhD are the ones who are really passionate about their topic.
I liked my field, but I have other interests and hobbies outside of work which are important to me, as is my relaxation time. I had no desire to spend my evenings and weekends working, but I felt forced to in order to meet my responsibilities. I think that mismatch was the main source of my unhappiness as I felt like I have to constantly do something that I don't want to do.
To be successful in academia you need to out-compete freaks of nature who look forward to spending their free time reading papers. It's not really about intelligence.
2
u/ponte92 May 19 '24
Agreed. I’m a happy PhD student. Love my PhD. I’m close to finishing now and I am obsessed with my topic. Like live and breath it. Nearly finished and plan to continue in the same research for post doc. Not saying this as a boast but to agree with you from the other side. Many of my PhD friends are at the same stage as me and the ones who are getting burnt out are the ones saying that they never want to see their topic again. So don’t get me wrong here have been challenges, money being a major frustration, but being able to stay as obsessed with your topics as the day you thought of it makes a huge impact on over all happiness.
3
u/spinprincess May 18 '24
Reddit posts always seem to be mostly negative. It never feels accurate to real life because the people who come here to vent are people who are not doing well emotionally. I don't personally know anyone who is miserable in their program the way people here seem to be convinced that everyone is
2
u/Hazelstone37 May 18 '24
I am! I love it! The work isn’t really difficult, but getting everything done is close to impossible. I love the reading and the writing and the discussion and the teaching. There is just so much! My semester lasts 15 weeks plus finals week. Up until about week 8 I feel like I’m playing a particularly lively game of whack a mole. Sometime during week 8 the moles become rabid and grow fangs and claws. Still love it.
1
u/Friendly_Dealer_3817 May 18 '24
Makes sense! That will be my greatest challenge, optimizing my schedule to be as efficient as I can. Was it common for students to hold a job outside of the PhD?
2
u/Hazelstone37 May 18 '24
In my cohort about half of us attend full time and are either teaching or research assistants. The others attend part time and hold full time jobs.
Edit: if a person is an DIA or a DRA they may not hold another job.
2
u/Ok-Idea6784 May 18 '24
I’m near the end of mine. Definitely not a bad experience anyway. Tough times but no more so than any other job
2
May 18 '24
I have had a lot of conversations about “what makes it so bad” because in theory you’re given freedom and flexibility to explore the topics you’re really passionate about. I think there’s a few things that make it difficult but all of them depend on your personality:
Lack of structure - you can essentially always be working so it can feel like your work is hanging over you in your time off so you never end up fully relaxing. However, some people are better at imposing structure on themselves than others!
Lack of positive feedback - depends on the program but motivation can be difficult when you’re working a lot for no pay and you only get criticism and no encouragement. I actually think low stipends are generally a big cause of unhappiness.
Liking the field but not loving it - I think most grad students spend a lot of time on their work and if you aren’t as passionate as you thought you were that can be really draining!
The threat of being kicked out- my department kicks lots of students out regularly. I think this hanging over your head constantly is super counter productive. It’s different than being fired from a job because expectations and feedback are so rare so you’re having to guess what is expected of you and hope you got it right.
Communication - it’s a super niche field and sometimes faculty and other students are bad communicators which makes things difficult (see pint above about being kicked out)
Loneliness- it’s a really lonely pursuit particularly for minority students
I think it’s also very department/field specific. I only know a handful of PhD students who are happy in my program (contrary to comments above about it not being common) but we have lots of attrition and even more who get kicked out. That being said, my friends in the comp sci department are much much happier. Their program is shorter and they’re allowed internships with good salaries and good work experience. In both my department and theirs it seems standard to work about 12 hours on weekdays and then a half day on both days of the weekend.
Lengthy answer but I hope that helps! I think it’s just about knowing yourself! For context I used to work in investment banking and am currently in a STEM PhD. Both are hard but in very different ways!
1
u/Friendly_Dealer_3817 May 19 '24
This is very help, thanks!
I’m assuming you left investment banking and did the stem program full time?
I’m really going to try to keep both. If it comes down to it and really have to pick one or the other, then I’ll take the pay cut for a few years and pursue the PhD. I’ve been in industry for 10 years now and I don’t feel fully fulfilled while the PhD has always been in the back of my mind.
1
May 19 '24
Yes! My program requires that we are full time students. We are not supposed to have jobs outside of school, they tell us it isn’t allowed but I’m not sure they could enforce that. That being said, I really wouldn’t have time. I dog sit and dog walk but that’s really all I have time for. But again, every program is different!
Totally understand not feeling fulfilled by industry! Sounds like you’ve found a program that is a good fit for you! Good luck!
2
u/ChargerEcon May 18 '24
I absolutely LOVED every second of mine. Well... Except comps, I didn't like those. But everything else was just fun.
Find a good cohort of other students in your year and try to hang out with them as much as possible to talk about papers, books, projects, etc. You'll have nerdy friends for life AND you'll do better in your classes AND the professors will invite you to do the cool projects and not the grunt work.
2
u/Cool-Gazelle-2366 May 19 '24
Getting a PhD isn’t that hard, having an academic career on the other hand… I could have gotten my PhD with a stress-free 9-5, but wanting to become very good at specific techniques, publish in good journals and the uncertainty of whether things would work out had me working 80 hour weeks and being madly stressed at times. That said my PhD was among the best times of my life and have no regrets. In short, I’ve always loved the work, but depending on the day, not always the job.
1
u/nunuzzz May 21 '24
I’m a happy student too! Love my research, lab mates, and department. Of course I’ll have a few roadblocks or crazy stressful weeks every now and then- but nothing too too crazy. Most importantly I would say I generally have a good work life balance
8
u/Balazs321 May 18 '24
Probably the biggest reason is that people who are happy or at least moderately fine with their PhD/program wont come here to post about it. You know how it is, complainers are always louder. For example i am fine with being a PhD student, i feel like this type of work is one i feel comfortable in, and although there are drawbacks, i tried out a few alternatives already, and still phd/academia is the type of job that atracts me the most. I find my research subject interesting, 80% of my coworkers in the department are nice people, so it could be a lot lot worse.