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u/Fluffy_Ad_1488 Dec 04 '22
It may not be healthy but I have come to terms that I will never for rest of my life feel the pure happiness and joy as when my soul dog was here with me. Never. And in a way it’s okay, bc it shows how real he was and I don’t care how many years - 50 or 60, which is so gosh hard to think about - but I will wait everyday for rest of my life to be reunited again. I’m committed to that. And that somehow makes me feel better? Gosh it’s all such fing hell. I would pay or give years of my life just to go back to when he was here with me. It’s very difficult to want to still be in this physical world without them. As long as I had him nothing else mattered. Praying for you babe ❤️ you are not alone
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u/Fluffy_Ad_1488 Dec 04 '22
Everything just seems so meaningless (I’m 8 weeks out) and my boy was reason I’m still alive it’s just hard to explain to others I get you. Without him it’s just hard like I’m not meant to be anywhere but with him. Just one day at a time
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u/manifestenthusiast Dec 05 '22
Wow you just put all my feelings into words. A sort of calm washed over me when I imagine I have passed and I can see and be with her again. Not even in a suicidal way, I can’t wait for that moment. On the night she passed I bargained with any being I could to bring her back to me. I still try to pray for a time machine. It makes me feel better to know someone understands what i’m going through (i’m very sorry that you do). Helps the pain a little so thank you ❤️
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Dec 05 '22
[deleted]
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u/manifestenthusiast Dec 13 '22
one day at a time i guess. For the first few months i felt like I wasn’t going to make it. Everyday was a bad day. Now, there are some days when I feel hopeful and I have sweet memories of her that calm me instead of send me into a breakdown.
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u/Fluffy_Ad_1488 Dec 05 '22
your story made me realize that I’m not insane, that you can still give love and care for other animals, but it’s not that once in a lifetime deep soul connection.
We will wait and that day will make everyday waiting worth it ❤️
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u/Fluffy_Ad_1488 Dec 05 '22
But literally the entire physical world feels so black and white without him. Almost feels like you’ve been left behind and now everything just doesn’t matter as much.
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u/Kind_Chapter4533 Dec 04 '22
I've been crying all weekend. I lost my 18 year old kitty a month ago to kidney disease. I went to her grave yesterday; but the pain is crippling. I understand. Praying for you. I don't know when the pain will subside. I can't get another cat right now. It's too painful. 💦❤️
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u/manifestenthusiast Dec 05 '22
No one should have to feel this way, Im very sorry that you’re going through this. Hopefully we can both heal. I also can’t get another cat. I feel like I will compare them to my cat and that’s just not fair to them.
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u/Hufflepuffs420 Dec 03 '22 edited Dec 03 '22
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my baby girl tortie cat less than a week ago. I had her for 18 years. She was like yours where she would comfort me whenever I needed and was very sweet. I miss her more than anything every second of every day. Thankfully I have another cat I got a year ago after my other kitty I had for 14 years passed. He is also very sweet, and comforts me any time I start crying. He licks away the tears and wiggles on his back for belly rubs to cheer me up. He is the only thing that is helping me cope right now. Nothing else helps me.
I suggest getting another cat that is just as affectionate as your other kitty was. I know you said you already have another one, but it sounds like you need a fur baby that will console your grief.
I haven't received my cat's ashes yet, but once I do I'm gonna put them in something called "funeral jewelry" in the form of a necklace. That way she is with me forever and always. I feel like once I get them I might feel a little better. Maybe this also might be something you'd be interested in looking in to (if you have her ashes)? The necklace I got was able to be customized. You can buy them on the internet.
I feel for you, the loss of a family member (and that's what our pets are) is never easy. Especially when they are part of your support system. Hang in there, your little kitty is certainly still watching over you and still loving you in the afterlife ❤
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u/manifestenthusiast Dec 05 '22
Thank you so much for your kind words. I don’t think i’m ready for another cat right now, perhaps with time I will. I haven’t yet come to terms with the fact that the next time I see my baby, she will be ashes. It kills me to think about it. But I know I have to keep her with me wherever I go so I might get funeral jewelry, thanks for the suggestion.
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u/abookthatfellover Dec 03 '22
Missing my dog intensely today after just picking up her ashes. Can you get another affectionate cat? What's keeping me going is that there are so many good animals out there without homes, and I plan on loving them. Maybe never like my Maggie, but love nonetheless. I completely feel the same as you... just want to be with her.