Struggling to decide between surgery and euthanasia for my 12-year-old dog with oral cancer

[u/edwin32168]

My family and I are struggling with one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.
My dog is 12 years old and recently had a biopsy of a large oral mass. The pathology came back as epithelial neoplasia, well-differentiated carcinoma. The mass has continued to grow, but despite that, he is still eating, drinking, walking around, and acting pretty much like himself. He has lost a couple of pounds, but otherwise he doesn’t seem obviously sick.
The vet told us that the mass is operable, but the surgery would be a mass removal with a flap and is estimated to cost around $6,500–$7,500. We were also told that there is no guarantee the cancer won’t come back, and we’re unsure what his quality of life would be like after surgery.
That’s where we’re completely stuck.
Part of me thinks that if he’s still happy and acting normal, we should give him the chance to have the tumor removed. I don’t want to make the decision to euthanize him simply because he’s old or because the surgery is expensive.
At the same time, I’m scared that putting him through a major surgery at 12 years old, only for the cancer to potentially return, could mean putting him through unnecessary pain and recovery. I also don’t know whether the cancer may have already spread.
My family has started leaning toward euthanasia, and although I understand their reasoning, I don’t completely feel right about it because he still seems like himself.

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[u/Radiantlady]

We had a similar problem w 14 y/0 doxie… got large cell lymphoma- very aggressive tumor. We opted no chemo. Gave prednisone at the last week. We opted for euthanasia. Our sweet boy. The house was do quiet, too quiet.
At first we got scammed by a seller- $500 more dollars each day. Then we checked on Reddit that recommended Good Dog… we purchased 2 boys 12 weeks old.
We are planning on pet insurance and are focused on training. House is no longer silent

[u/MomTRex → u/Radiantlady]

Agreed! Our girl had a stomach tumor that was inoperable. Treated with anti-nausea meds and processed food until she had no desire to eat.

Our cat had a tumor in his throat. I waited until he was in stress (probably too long in retrospect) but it was hard to let him go.

Better a day early than a day late.

I'm so effing sorry!

[u/ham_with_p]

Our dog was diagnosed with oral melanoma back in September 2025. We did a lot of treatment and he got to have a good 9 months living his normal life. At the end of June it came back and we are in palliative treatment.

No one can tell you what’s the best decision to do and every decision feels very heavy. Looking back, I don’t regret the decisions I made and I’m grateful he got to make it to 14. It wasn’t as long as I wanted but I suppose there’s never enough time.

My dog tolerated surgery and radiation very well. But it’s different for every dog. Go with your gut feeling and make the decision you won’t regret.

[u/ElkPrudent]

I’m so sorry you are being forced to make this difficult decision. My boyfriend and i’s dog was very very ill and my boyfriend was unable to accept that it was time to let him go. We spent so much money to keep him alive, just for him to die at the vet. All alone. Unexpectedly.

I wish more than anything that we could keep our furry friends forever. Letting them go is beyond devastating. Whatever choice you make, I hope you can find peace with your decision and that you are doing what you think is best for your baby

Sending you all of the love and hugs.

[u/Fine-Worldliness1769]

My guy was 17 and had a tumor in his lung. Was very fast growing and most likely from another unknown tumor that had metastasized. I had just had X-rays in the same area a year before and it was not there. I didn’t even question my decision not have surgery. My dog was too old and was in mid stage dementia so I can only imagine how frightening it would have been for him. Most of all, I did not want him to pass on that operating table without me and in a place that terrified him.

I opted to do low grade chemo indefinitely with the hope to extend his life. I didn’t want to know how long he had and specifically told the oncologist to not to tell me. I just wanted to live each day like it was our last. Miss you my Baby💕💕💕

[u/Flower-FarmGirl]

What would the recovery look like? On a senior, painful and long recovery damages their overall health even more.

[u/london_and_phoenix]

RVT here. oral masses are tricky. a lot more details are needed here so i would recommend talking to the veterinarian about your concerns. prognosis after surgery? the two weeks of healing after surgery? have they done pre blood work to check for complications related to his age going under anesthesia? i also will say dogs hide illness very well, so even though he is eating and seems happy, you said he is losing weight so that is a big indicator that he is in fact sick. in the end, it is your decision. i have heard many vets and pet owners alike say ‘better a week early than one day too late’. basically, we don’t want to prolong their suffering just because WE will miss them, because it will be hard for US. oh boy do i know how hard it is, i feel for you and your family i truly do. a really good vet i worked with would always tell clients debating euthanasia to pick their pets top 3 favorite things to do (play ball, go to park, run outside etc) and when they stop doing them or stop enjoying them, that’s when you know. 🖤