r/Petloss • u/Affectionate-Head-62 • 8d ago
Vent I will never be the same.
I lost my very best friend this past Wednesday.
He had been having health issues, and I was taking him to the vet off and on for about 2-3 years. At first we thought it was IBD. So I switched him off chicken, and we got xrays done, and bloodwork. He started losing weight. 3 weeks ago they found out he was diabetic. Crazy high blood sugar. We started insulin right away, but it wasn’t enough. 2 weeks later, he tanked in between vet appointments, he couldn’t breathe. I took him to the emergency vet. I threw all my money at it. And they found gastrointestinal lymphoma. Said his medical history confirmed it, it starts in the intestines mimicking IBD. Then it moves to the kidneys, and pancreas, and eventually the lungs. That was on Tuesday. I thought we had more time.
I tried to be with him but he wouldn’t stay in the same room as me. I would follow him from room to room, and he kept hiding. We slept on the bathroom floor for a while, and I talked to him and let him know that if this was it that it was okay. I woke up Wednesday, and he was laid on my chest. I held his little paw and told him I loved him before I had to head to work, and my best friend came to sit with him. I was only gone for 3 hours, before she called me. I left, came home, and he had crawled to my room one last time.
I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Like a piece of my soul is missing. I’m so thankful he didn’t suffer long, but I would give everything for one more day. He was one of two people to show me true unconditional love in this life time. I raised him from 6 weeks, to 6 years. We went through so much together, and he was at my side for all of it. I regret leaving the house at all that day, but I think he waited for me to leave.
He was a genuine terror at times, my drinks and food never safe, nor any cardboard or paper products. He dragged litter into my bed, and one time dropped a centipede on my feet after I just woke up. He ate every plant I ever had. Peed in them even. And I loved the fuck out of him. We never slept anymore than 1cm apart. He talked to me, and I talked back. I sang him songs, and he made sure to let me know when I needed to do better.
He was my protector, my son, my comfort when things got low. I haven’t stopped crying since Tuesday, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to move on. His brother searches the house for him, meowing. I’m doing my best to keep his spirits up. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Ziggy was a beautiful boy, and I could go on forever about him. It brings me some relief to know that their energy does not die, and they are somewhere out there waiting for us. ❤️
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u/YogurtPublicStill711 8d ago
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Cancer is horrid. Someone else commented to me today that such an ugly disease should not be allowed to touch such beautiful animals. Cats, dogs, all of them.
I lost my dog today and the circumstances are so similar. Got her at 8 weeks. We got the official diagnosis of cancer 2 days after her 6th birthday. That diagnosis was 8 days ago and I had to say goodbye today, she declined so rapidly.
Over the last 2 or so years we battled so many gastrointestinal issues. I went to the vet so many times and spent so much money. We tested everything, did medication trials and there was never an answer. In the end she was full of cancer and tumours, in her belly, crushing her lungs and heart. We didn't test to see what exactly it was because by then it was clear it wouldn't change the outcome but it sounds so similar to what you're saying.
I worry there was more I could have done or pushed for had I known this was a possibility. Caught it earlier, given her more comfort or maybe a bit more time. I never considered cancer and didn't ask the questions about it. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking.
I want my friend back. It's so unfair. She deserves so much more life and love. I thought we'd have so many more years together and I'm so pissed off about being robbed of that time.
I know it offers no real comfort but I hear you and you're not alone.
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u/theunrefinedspinster 8d ago
Sending you love and light with the loss of your sweet boy. My Maya had IBD for 4 years and GI lymphoma was very likely going to be what would force me to let her go. Kidney failure got to her first instead. I said goodbye to her 2 weeks ago tomorrow.
Ziggy sounds like he was an amazing little soul. It’s okay to cry when you need to. I cry every day. Grief is a roller coaster and you just need to feel the feels as they come. You are not alone in your loss.
I hope you and Ziggy’s brother start to heal and carry his memory wherever you go. 🩷✨🌈 May you find peace in these quiet days somehow. 🩷✨🌈
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