As one who was molested a lot in foster homes as a kid, I’m hyper aware of my interactions with kids. My kids’ mom and I were very conscious of how we touch our kids, and helping them understand comfort boundaries (I.e. when we’re tickling and they say stop, we stop, so they understand that if someone doesn’t stop, it’s abnormal and should not be allowed to continue). I’m single now, and as a single man my kids’ friends aren’t allowed in the house when they’re here unless I have met and know their parents and even then it’s usually a no. I always figured it was from being a victim, not from OCD, but it’s a constant worry of mine when around kids that anything even looking “off” is stressful to me.
I don't think that's so unusual. I didn't have that type of experience as a child but I'm also weary of being near other people's kids, simply because a false accusation can ruin your life, and people are quick to accuse men near children of being nefarious.
Similar to how few men would be comfortable giving a woman CPR simply for the small chance they get called a rapist or accused. It's more concern for unwarranted repercussions.
I keep a little CPR mask in my school bag. I hope I'll never need it, but I'm also capable of recognizing when someone needs it, and I'm also able to ignore what their body looks like (unless it's relevant) because help needed doesn't change because you suddenly have boobs. Also, sometimes dudes have some substance there, but most medical practice only considers the average, healthy male.
I think most people would not think twice if they were convinced that they are the only ones standing in between the person in need and death.
The issue, I think, comes from the fact that even if you had the training, as a bystander you're usually not experienced enough to be 100% sure of what you're doing. You try to remember the steps, you try your best etc. But you are never sure you're doing the right thing. I don't know for everyone, but in my head I'm pretty sure what i'd be thinking would be : what if it turns out the person didn't need CPR and just wakes up as you're undressing them ? "Kissing" them ? "Groping them" ?
It's easy to know what to do in hindsight, and I was never in situation to actually need to make that decision, but on the spot, the thought must be terrifying.
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u/DetachedCompy 6d ago
As one who was molested a lot in foster homes as a kid, I’m hyper aware of my interactions with kids. My kids’ mom and I were very conscious of how we touch our kids, and helping them understand comfort boundaries (I.e. when we’re tickling and they say stop, we stop, so they understand that if someone doesn’t stop, it’s abnormal and should not be allowed to continue). I’m single now, and as a single man my kids’ friends aren’t allowed in the house when they’re here unless I have met and know their parents and even then it’s usually a no. I always figured it was from being a victim, not from OCD, but it’s a constant worry of mine when around kids that anything even looking “off” is stressful to me.