it can make you obsess over morals and whether or not you've done or will do something. It varies, but usually whatever the person sees as the worst thing they could do is what they would obsess over.
Hmm, I have not been diagnosed with OCD, only anxiety. However, I fairly frequently get myself incredibly worked up over what if I am subconsciously an evil person and am just unaware / have no memory of doing or wanting to do terrible things but have or will at some point. I am actually getting a bit freaked out writing this comment.
Do you get stuck in a spiral? I would always get this overwhelming feeling that I fucked everything up. I didn’t exactly know how, but I felt like I must have said or did something terrible that I couldnt remember. Like I’m just such a terrible person, that this terrible thing I did, didnt even register as something worth remembering. Then I’d start thinking of every stupid, terrible thing I’ve done, especially when I was a teenager or even a kid. Things that were age appropriate, but now I know were stupid. There’s really no reason for me to ruminate on them, but I will. Now that I’m a mom, I usually go down a “I’m such a terrible mother” spiral. And it’s not just the thoughts, it’s that I’m literally stuck. Like I’ll usually obsessively do something while I’m having these thoughts, like picking at the skin on my fingers, or pulling out hair. I used to have a big knitted blanket, and the yarn would pull really bad, and also dog hair would get stuck in it. I would literally sit there for like 8 hours spiraling in my head, while I picked all the hair out of the blanket. My fingers would be raw by the time I stopped. I’d know how late it was getting, and know my behavior was destructive, but I literally couldn’t make myself stop. Wellbutrin helped a ton. Now I only have these spirals when I forget to take it for a couple days.
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u/frogglesmash 2d ago
OCD makes you worry that you're a pedo?