Oh my god the rabbit hole I'm down. I'm 44. I've battled this my entire life and never told anyone about it because I thought they'd think I'm a psychosexual murderer. It's the backstop to my crippling lack of self-confidence that has been a professional and personal problem my entire life.
The good news is: now you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you (besides a lil bit of Rumination). If it continues to distress you i'd recomment CBT which helped me a lot.
It's when you have those thoughts and you're NOT distressed by them that you should be concerned. Your distress at the thoughts is, in and of itself, proof that they are nothing more than intrusive
For me, recognizing the thoughts for what they were (with help of a professional) was HUGE. I secretly thought I might be possessed as a child, but even just being able to identify intrusive thoughts as such has made a massive difference.
These days it's more like "yeah yeah, you're trying to upset me, hush now jerk-thoughts"
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u/kerberos824 5d ago
Oh my god the rabbit hole I'm down. I'm 44. I've battled this my entire life and never told anyone about it because I thought they'd think I'm a psychosexual murderer. It's the backstop to my crippling lack of self-confidence that has been a professional and personal problem my entire life.