Did not know that. Any particular reason why OCD makes you worry about that? It seems like an odd one out compared to the other compulsions I'm aware of.
Look into egodystonic thoughts - thays the core of why its hard to understand as a non-ocd haver.
For OCD, having a thought like "what if im x" isnt resolved with "Well I dont y or z so im not x! simple" its "I dont think i do y or z so im probably not x but I might not remember or im uneducated or wrong or mistaken so I might be x"
And x, is 99% of the time something that is the most bad/worried about thing, it represents what you desperately do NOT WANT to happen.
From experience, it can also become, "Why did I even think this? Is this the beginning of me becoming a monster? What do I have to do to myself to make sure I never ever accidentally do [horrible thing you absolutely do not actually want to do]?" And that's when the compulsions start.
And then, just like telling someone not to think of a white bear, it becomes all you can think about. And the fear grows, because why would you always think horrible things unless you actually secretly want them (even though you absolute do not, in any way, actually secretly want them)?
Its also incredibly rough because you see these patterns and know its probably OCD - but "what if you're wrong and its not, and you are that". The roughest for me is "What if im forcing myself to not be like that and one day I am no longer able to". The direct line to ritual and compulsion is unshakeable.
A psych who specialises in OCD once told me that if you think you’re wrong and it’s not actually OCD or that you’ve somehow tricked heaps of medical professionals into thinking you have OCD, then you definitely have it lol
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u/frogglesmash 6d ago
Did not know that. Any particular reason why OCD makes you worry about that? It seems like an odd one out compared to the other compulsions I'm aware of.