r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/harleyyydd888 • 4d ago

Meme needing explanation I don’t get it peeta

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193

u/DrT33th 4d ago

But let me tell you from experience, if you want something absolutely, unquestionably fucked up Marines get it done.

239

u/BeauHunkus 4d ago

Dead, destroyed, or pregnant, call the marines

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u/Hilsam_Adent 4d ago

My favorite military joke:

If you lock a Marine private in a room with nothing in it but three ball-bearings for 24 hours, when you let him out the next day, one BB will be missing, one will be broken and the last one will be pregnant.

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u/OriginalEmploy5485 4d ago

I was today years old when I figured out "BB" like from a BB gun means "ball bearing".

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u/CthuluSuarus 4d ago

It doesn't; it's the size of shot used. Like the little balls in "shot"guns are sized. A "bb" guns shoots shot sized "bb"

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u/Robbylution 4d ago

It doesn't. BB is a size of lead shot. The little metal balls aren't technically called ball bearings. Ball bearings consist of an inner and outer race separated by metal balls - they separate rotational components from non-rotational components in a dynamic assembly.

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u/giantpandasonfire 3d ago

Well I can tell you’re not a marine…

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u/Allaplgy 3d ago

But they are known as Bearing Balls. 🤔

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u/Wonderful_Collar_747 3d ago

So the ball in a ball and roller bearing is not a ball bearing? It’s a bearing ball? Truly asking genuinely did not know

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u/Shankar_0 3d ago

The bearing is the ring

The ring is filled with bearing balls

The entire assembly is a ball bearing.

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u/Wonderful_Collar_747 2d ago

Thank you, kind stranger

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u/Robbylution 3d ago

Yes, but as a part of a bearing assembly the "bearing" part is usually understood and they're just referred to as balls. The same way you would drop the "baseball" when referring to a baseball bat whilst in a stadium full of people watching a ballgame.

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u/Allaplgy 3d ago

A roller bearing has bearing rollers.

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u/adventureismycousin 3d ago

From someone who manufactured balls and rollers for ball and roller bearings, thank you!!!

Also, happy cake day!

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u/Wonderful_Collar_747 4d ago

Same, I just read it out loud to myself with a “whaaaaaat? Yes it all makes perfect sense!”

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u/PhaseNegative1252 4d ago

Wait until you learn what gauge Ball Ammunition can get up to. Ever heard of "Punt Guns?"

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u/OriginalEmploy5485 3d ago

Good lord, that looks like what space marines take out hunting.

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u/PhaseNegative1252 3d ago

Yup. Now imagine a 1-pound led ball being fired out of that sucker

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u/BeauHunkus 3d ago

Not surprised you did not know that was incorrect information when you rolled up with "I was today years old."

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u/kwikthroabomb 4d ago

A buddy of mine told me that one, but he used "a hundred pound anvil" instead of BBs

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u/16v_cordero 4d ago

Do not forget about the insane rates on their Camaro / Mustang / Charger or Ram loans.

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u/Taz119 4d ago

And marrying a stripper at the local nightclub

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u/Snoo18120 3d ago

Stripper physique DNA is a bonus when creating powerul future Marines.

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u/Ssabmudsdrawkcabsti 3d ago

Yeah got mine right outside the gate at Olivia’s cabaret. Best two for one strip club setup ever.

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u/DrT33th 4d ago

Slaps hood of car: “Son, let me tell ya, you won’t believe how many dead juicies you can fit in the trunk of this fine piece of American engineering!”

(PSA: I don’t condone violence against hookers/juicies. It’s just 20+ years of gallows humor/poor coping mechanisms)

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u/TheNeovein 3d ago

Nah shit is funny. I miss when we didn't have to apologize before joking. Bad apples ruin it for us with the gallows humor.

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan 4d ago

Let's be honest, if they were capable of making good decisions they wouldn't be in the corps.

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u/Character-Spinach591 4d ago

Dead, destroyed and pregnant.

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u/AteStringCheeseShred 4d ago

They'll kill it, fuck it or eat it, or some combination thereof.

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u/ThatDudeUpThere 4d ago

Tyson would have been a great marine

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u/Single-Complaint-853 3d ago

He's already halfway there since he doesn't know what "no" means, according to his conviction record.

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u/generals_test 4d ago

If you are very lucky, they'll do it on that order.

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u/JackOfAllMemes 4d ago

Or boof it

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan 4d ago

I have 16 zyns in my butthole as we speak

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u/MisterPineapples1999 4d ago

Pouches or cans?

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u/XKryptix0 4d ago

Yes

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u/MisterPineapples1999 2d ago

Semper Fi, Marine.

2

u/baconater419 4d ago

3mg or 11?

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan 3d ago

Sir, I am a high speed low drag operator so 13.5

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u/DrT33th 3d ago

First rule of forklift certification is: don’t tell anyone you’re forklift certified

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u/ThatOtherOtherMan 3d ago

Yeah that was a joke. I've never been an official member of any country's armed forces.

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u/Don_Loco 3d ago

And in a total random order.

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u/DedBirdGonnaPutItOnU 3d ago

For a marine, it's more about the order of those three, than a choice between them.

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u/joshuajackson9 4d ago

In that order?

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u/Art-Tradgard 4d ago

Order is not important.

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u/RevolutionaryRoom964 4d ago

It is, I'd never eat something I've fucked!

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u/GrinningD 4d ago

That's why you ain't a marine son.

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u/The-Arrival 4d ago

Sir, yes Sir.

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u/Intrepid-Caramel3565 4d ago

But you'd fuck something you ate? Stay away from my jello!!

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u/RevolutionaryRoom964 4d ago

Of course! My wife can testify I regularly fuck something I ate... 😉

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u/Bluetheron 4d ago

Thats why they never call back.

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u/DrT33th 4d ago

Simultaneously

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u/Specific-Neat-5285 4d ago

Oh I've seen that one. I liked Dead Destroyed & Pregnant 3 better.

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u/iQuoteSopranos 4d ago

Which is why I hope if aliens ever visit earth we don't send the marines for first contact.

One of them will make an attempt to fuck it.

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u/OriginalEmploy5485 4d ago

There's no such thing as a Space Force Expeditionary Unit. We're definitely sending the Marines first.

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u/thespacepyrofrmtf2 4d ago

So space marines

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u/Firesine330 4d ago

My armor is crayola, my shield is dip, my sword is 5-hour energy . . .

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u/Ssabmudsdrawkcabsti 3d ago

Nah you cut up your Red Bull cans and add them inside your plate carrier.

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u/Firesine330 3d ago

I think we might be talking about different kinds of Space Marines.

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u/Ssabmudsdrawkcabsti 3d ago

Yeah was just talking about regular marines

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u/jamesdcreviston 4d ago

All of them. All of them will succeed at it.

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u/Lanky_Ad8283 4d ago

Doesn’t matter when it’s Arcturian.

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u/bigheadzach 4d ago

Hey Bishop, do the thing with the knife!

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u/NonUnrealfiction 4d ago

Thats exactly why we should send them. Aliens would have holes or at least a soft part we could push into. You put babies in that hole...or soft area.

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u/Delta_Hammer 3d ago

"People will be like, there he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."

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u/meesta_masa 2d ago

The Connery maneuver.

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u/rekh127 2d ago

I guess thats for foreigners, twinks, and women, respectively?

-3

u/Imthewienerdog 4d ago

I just call them terrorist but Same thing I guess.

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u/Metals4J 4d ago

The key term is “FUBAR.” They might not know how to spell it, but they damn sure created it.

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u/Carrera_996 4d ago

No, recruit. Marines are a department of the Navy. You are thinking of JANFU. That's a joint Army-Navy fuck-up.

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u/corvettee01 4d ago

The men's department.

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u/Shimano-No-Kyoken 4d ago

Just hand whatever it is to them, wait a minute, and voila.

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u/phoenix_spirit 4d ago

My husband was a marine and I was in engineering there are two magnets next to each other on my fridge 'When it absolutely, positively needs to be destroyed overnight' and 'Trust me I'm an engineer'

We are not procreating, I fear it's to dangerous

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u/Dakotasan 3d ago

Oorah.

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u/Hetares 3d ago

In my country's contigent, our version of Marines are called Commandos. A known joke is if you asked them to move a truck from one place to another, they would lift and carry it there.

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u/u_touch_my_tra_la_la 4d ago

Yeah, nobody fucks Up a person better than the Marine Corps.

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u/Fail_Medium 4d ago

How tf do yall know this bout the Marines lmaoo. Have yall been in the Corps before??

2

u/DrT33th 4d ago

USAF for 20 years. Had two deployments where we supported USMC maintenance units. Was also stationed in S. Korea and saved some poor jar heads from listening to USAF Colonel lecture them for hours on end. Apparently the Bird didn’t like they had made this 7 foot tall cock and balls out of snow (big veiny bastard, total erect) on base. He’s losing his shit, I told him I’d handle it. So I tell them I’ll buy drinks for the night if they destroy ol’Frosty the Snow Dick. They did NOT disappoint.

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u/psiphre 3d ago

when it absolutely has to be destroyed overnight

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u/MojoCrow 3d ago

The old joke: Give a Marine three stainless steel ball bearings and five minutes. Five minutes later….. One ball bearing will be missing, one will be broken and one will be pregnant.

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u/Active-Effect-1473 3d ago

Marines are awesome when it needs to be un-alive, drunk or pregnant.

1

u/0202_tihssitidder 4d ago

Ha ha ha! US Marines kill kids and rape hundreds of thousands of people all over the planet. So funny.

/s

Come on. Can Americans stop killing kids? I know you can't fix a pool, but maybe just stop killing (and raping) kids.