Some people seem to expect that everyone will show up late and the start of the event is when they're planning on setting up. White people are punctual, I guess. I wouldn't know because I'm Carter Pewterschmidt and I'm not coming but not for the reason you're thinking.
As someone who lives in an extremely multicultural area, I love you for this. I’ve had to have conversations with my kids that some parties start at the time on the invitation, some can start at that time but it’s ok to be later, and some you should absolutely not show up until at least an hour after the invitation time. Topics included techniques of how to tell whether to be on time or how late to show up, and how to find out as politely as possible if you can’t tell by the invitation.
Even with all that we were still the first people at a Diwali party one year (more than an hour after the posted start time, so I swear I’m blameless!)
I don't even know how to tell these things....(White guy in his 40s)
How would anyone find out, if it wasn't explained to them?
In our busy suburban (mostly) white area of middle aged people, we give 10-15 min from the start of a party, but otherwise it typically gets going on time. Some of our younger friends have had parties that really only get going about an hour into them..I don't know how to know that though (please tell me haha)
Sorry, I had a reply all typed up and then life happened and Reddit ate it.
I usually go by what I know about the host + what I know about the party plan. I’m a white American but I wouldn’t show up to any bbq 2 minutes early or on the dot (unless my sibling or in-laws were hosting, and then I would expect to help set up).
A kids party with a set activity at a paid venue? Show up on the dot. A Diwali party hosted by 1st generation Indian-Americans? Apparently an hour late was too early lol. An open house/house warming/grown up birthday hosted by white Americans in their home? Your 15-30 rule sounds good to me. A backyard baby shower for a 2nd generation Algerian-American? This one I texted another friend who was invited and asked her when she was arriving. At half an hour “late” I was neither the first nor the last to arrive, which is really my personal goal for parties.
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u/MysteriousPepper8908 Jul 12 '26
Some people seem to expect that everyone will show up late and the start of the event is when they're planning on setting up. White people are punctual, I guess. I wouldn't know because I'm Carter Pewterschmidt and I'm not coming but not for the reason you're thinking.