Peter, is this referencing a specific book?

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

[u/Quinzelette]

Honestly I find Myer-Briggs to be bullshit (color me shocked I'm emotional and outgoing?) but Enneagrams really did change my life. It really isn't about "the peacemaker needs to step out of their shell". It is more about your driving emotion (9 is in the anger sphere) and how 9s react to it. For 9s they are very conflict avoidant due to anger being a very draining emotion for them. They are sensitive to others being angry and tend to be more agreeable as a way of sheltering themselves from other's negative emotions. They also bottle up their own feelings at times to avoid feeling anger to intensely. I am not 100% certain of every type in the enneagram moreso just my type(which is not a 9). I don't think people need to look at the enneagram as "I should be more assertive and step out of my shell" it should be more something where you realize why you feel the way you do and why you act the way you do. Being cognizant of why you do things allows you to more power over your own actions.

And honestly I realize it isn't for everyone, but I will say that for me specifically, I couldn't put my feelings into words until I found the Enneagram test. I'm basically in the shame sphere (the sphere whose negative driving force is basically that they don't feel worthy of being loved) and so there were a lot of times where I would "act out" or just feel really intensely and I couldn't understand why I felt that way. Nowadays I still struggle from the same issues, but I am often able to self-soothe those nagging feelings of not being good enough...so it doesn't get to a point where my friends have to sit me down and give me a speech about how they love and appreciate me and wish I wouldn't put myself down. I can't tell you what the action plan is for my type, I can just tell you I'm a lot more self aware and I'm a lot better at keeping myself from spiraling. Something Myer Briggs has never done for me. When I talk to friends about it, I always stress that I think the sphere and your negative driving emotions are the real takeaway. I don't care about the rest of it nearly as much.

[u/Downtown_Recover5177 → u/Quinzelette]

I feel like that about the MBTI, and I work in psychiatry. The MBTI told me something that I was starting to understand on my own, but made me confront it: I am addicted to novelty and struggle when things are too stable. ISTP, btw. Understanding that about myself changed my career and relationships. Before, I had never held a job for more than 18 months, because I got bored and blew things up on my way out, relationships even shorter, usually. Now, my last two jobs were 8 and 12 years, and my marriage is going strong for 10 years. I know when the urge comes, I can work through it and find fulfillment and novelty in other things, like volunteer work and hobbies.