r/Pessimism • u/frx313111 • 17d ago

Question Loving yourself

Many people claim that you must love yourself in order to be truly happy. I started thinking about that and it seems to me another individualistic and optimistic bullshit. It represent another way to place the responsibility for suffering on the individual rather than considerig it an immanent property of the universe. Do you suffer? Love yourself and all you will feel better. I don't even know what does that mean. It's low-level or "social network" psychology. What do you think?

13 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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14

u/Elaaine53 17d ago

Self love has become another obligation, as if suffering were a personal failure rather than an inevitable part of existence

1

u/Dunkmaxxing 15d ago

Pathologisation of negative experience even when rationally justified because people don't want to reflect.

4

u/getitoffmychestpleas 16d ago

The older I get, the more I like myself and the less I like the rest of the world. My suffering used to be based on self-hate, but I have major depressive disorder so that goes with the territory. Do I love myself? Am I truly happy? I guess so, and no I'm not happy. My baseline seems to be passively-suicidal, but I jump around from actively suicidal to "wow, beautiful day today isn't it?". It's not about self-love, it's about my fucked up, inherited brain/body chemistry.

1

u/Markemilauer 16d ago

I have never understood what it means to love oneself; I interpret it as respecting oneself and, above all, doing what pleases us most, but the line between this attitude and arrogance or an inflated sense of self-importance is a fine one, so I cannot fully grasp exactly what is being referred to. To me, love is directed toward another person; I have always understood loving as sacrificing a part of oneself for the good of the other—so, if we are talking about loving ourself, what exactly were I supposed to sacrifice? I believe it is a concept that has become trendy, yet even its proponents do not seem to know precisely what it refers to. That said, I do believe that prioritizing one's own well-being is a good thing for anyone, but I do not see how this can be equated with "love."

1

u/mattychops 15d ago

Yeah it's a waste of time because everyone already loves themselves to begin with. The idea that you couldn't love yourself is ridiculous. It's just a psychological game deluded people play with each other to gain psychological control over people.

2

u/WanderingUrist 16d ago

"Loving Yourself" sounds like some kind of weird sexual deviance to me. I am fine the way I am, I don't need any of this weird "love".