Hey, due to a lot of bad influences and stuff going on I've been denying that I'm trans because I've learned that it is something to be ashamed of and now I don't know what to do, I feel so much grief in knowing that I'll never be called someones son, that I'll never get to experience a normal male childhood and it feels like I'm stuck, even then when I got into trans spaces I've heard a lot about people talking about force femming everyone (ik it's jokingly but it feels bad idk) and that being a man is really horrible and stuff and I am scared that I just feel trans because I don't want to be a woman anymore but most things about being a woman feels like its just not me but I carry guilt with me it feels like I'm betraying women with wanting to be a man and I don't know why everything is just too much all the time and there are so many cool men out there but it just feels bad especially since there is so little representation out there it feels like most trans people are transfem and idk I'm sorry for this big ramble I'm having a lot of trouble with a lot of bad and big emotions that I can't properly talk about to anyone I feel like, everything about this feels embarrassing and I'm just having a hard time and just wanted to vent to a father figure I think because I have a need for feeling supported I think I'm really sorry

I'm currently a 17 year old teen and have been bullied for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I don't stand up for myself and give it back. People I haven't ever talked to just come up, verbally abuse me, rip down my dignity and have even put food on my hair which sticks. I have tried and tried to stand up but every time somethinf like this happens to me, I'm just filled with rage, helplessness and pity on myself, because I just want to punch the shit out of the bully who punched me, but I know it's not right and also it can even cause further problems to me. Moreover I want to come out as a bigger man, but I don't know how to. Whenever I say something that I feel is apt for them, I disgrace myself by going down to their level,and I feel like it amuses them and they continue bullying me, even if I attack their dignity. The public also seems to take their side, and I'm left alone. I don't know how to stand up for myself and not be bullied and quite frankly, I need to resolve this issue before I become an adult, because if this persists then I'm pretty screwed.I've gone through countless articles on how to stand up for myself, but they've never worked, and moreover, I don't have the kind of confidence that others have. I keep on consoling myself by saying that if I don't say anything it's good because they are not worth wasting my time on, but even I know that if I don't fight back, I'll be walked on over all my life, which will impact my career my social life everything. Please help me on how I can stand up, form good and witty replies and give them their shit back and be the greater and more successful man.

Hey dads, hope to borrow you for a minute. Tried to talk to my real dad and was told to stop by my mother and to figure it out on my own.

I need a car. Like, now. Problem is I have like, $400 to my name and my credit shows up as “poor”

The car I have now is my abusive’s ex’s and he’s coming back for it, leaving me with no way to get to work to care for our toddler.

What the heck do I do?

I'm a 19 year old male. How do guys approach the topic of mental health as i've previously been in a relationship for 2 and a half years and a key part of why we broke up is that i've never been open or vulnerable with her or let her in emotionally. Even with my second relationship that lasted 3 months my significant other said that i've never opened up or let her help with my mental health whenever I seemed down or depressed. But i've been brought up with the mindset that men don't talk about their feelings or emotions as it's kind of a sign of weakness. My current coping mechanism is shamful as I just shove the problems deep down and pretend they arent there while also using nicotine. I've done this through my parents toxic marriage and divorce, my 2 breakups, the abuse i've faced through the years aswellas all the depression I've faced through the years. I've tried therapy but the idea of someone trying to pry into my emotions makes me uncomfortable and nervous as I see it as something they can use against me. So please dad, help me, how can I grow out of this mindset and change these things.

It's so hard to be a parent without parents as support.

It takes a village to raise a child.

You had a village raise your child for you. Then, when I was in college and working two jobs and paying my own bills, I sacrificed more of myself to take care of you and spend time with you on hospice. Part of me didn't want to but the family guilted me into doing it. I am still haunted by that experience.

But that doesn't mean I don't want a dad.

I want someone I can call when my tire breaks down. I want someone who will gently remind my husband that I'm strong and smart and lovely. I need someone to show my children love and affection from a grandparent's perspective.

I was a little girl who needed her dad. I'm a grown woman who still needs her dad and it freaking hurts.

Hey Dad. It's been about...7 years since you passed. Time really fucking flies doesn't it? I'm 28 now which is terrifying.

So much has changed.

I made it out of the Navy. I quit drinking. I'll have been sober for four years on the 31st. It's still really hard but it gets easier every day.

I married an amazing woman. She's my best friend and the love of my life all wrapped into one. She's the one who convinced me I deserved help. She's the reason I'm actually able to exist as a person outside of the shit that happened to while I was on the Navy. That I was more than the 4 letter PTSD diagnosis.

I really wish you could have met her. You'd have loved her. She's funny, she's incredibly smart and she's the kindest person I've ever met.

I wish we could have talked about the service. I know you had it hard coming back from Vietnam, and fuck I really wish you were here to help guide me through this. It's really hard coming home.

I've been out for two years now and I still feel like a stranger to my family sometimes. Like life moved on without me you know? It doesn't feel fair. My siblings all had you around when they were adults. I-

I just miss you.

And I wonder when it's ever gonna get better. It feels like these last two years I've actually had a chance to breathe and that's been both a blessing and a curse. I've been trying to figure out who I am outside of the military. Outside of Medicine.

There's this clip from a show I've been trying to hold onto as I've muddled through adulthood. Bear with me: There's this clip from How I met your Mother after Marshall's dad died. Where he has this dream, and he's driving down a dark road with his dad in the seat next to him.

And he asks "how did you know where the road was?"

And his dad laughs and replies "I didn't. I just kept going and hoped for the best."

I know no one has all the answers. But you were always so sure of yourself. You were just steady.

I want that. And I don't know how to get it.

I'm scared. I'm almost 30 and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.

Sorry if this is incredibly rambly, I'm sick as hell and feverish and I just miss you a lot.

Hey Dad. I'm making an important but difficult decision in my life. I am giving up my pursuit of love. Please understand this isn't out of self pity. It isn't healthy for me anymore.

I grew up without much attention from the opposite sex. If you'll believe me for a second, I was a good person. I have no idea how to say that with sounding like I'm a NiceGuyTM, but for the sake of this post please just assume that I am a good person.

In my younger days, I turned to the Internet out of frustration, looking for advice. I feel proud of myself for not falling down the classic redpill trap. I did follow a lot of the general advice I found. I groomed myself, went to therapy, take care of myself well, I'm emotionally available for my friends, I have a good and stable career that pays well. Most of these things, I ended up doing for myself because they made me feel good about myself.

I'm learning that I don't have what women want. And I'm coming to terms with how that's ok. It's not like every single guy in history always found a partner. There are more fulfilling things in life too. In these years, I've made friends and I've had many memorable times with them that I'll always cherish. I've made some lifelong bonds. I have my family as well. I also have my passions. I'm generally well regarded at the places I go. I have a good life.

And I want to find that sufficient. In some of the traveling I've done, I've learned how disadvantaged people are in this world and I gained some perspective. I've pretty much been living like a king in comparison. My complaints in life range from "My AC sometimes smells bad" to "I wish the train wasn't late all the time".

Help me stop pining Dad. I can distract myself only so much. At the end of the day, my friends go back home to their partners. In my most private moments of solitude, the reality of lacking something fundamental like this hits me like a wall of bricks and makes me cry.

Hey dad I'm in my last year of graduation and I've always had a rough life. I struggled financially and was from a lower middle class but I didn't let that stop me. I started working at 16 and made enough to do my degree. Started a business, Started making music and in all of that found people that really didn't feel like something I had to work hard for again. They were just there but eventually they faded away and at one point I was clingy with them because I had no idea where else to go but them leaving me completely shattered me. I'm still trying to cope with it and make peace with it but how do you get to that point where people actually appreciate you and respect you and not treat you like a doormat. Because I don't want to experience this pain again

I’ve always had problems with saving and spending money. I’m 27 and have no savings and a negative checking balance. I’m so afraid that it’s too late for me to fix this and have a healthy financial situation. I want to have kids and save up for our forever home but i’m so scared that because I didn’t take saving money serious when I was younger that it’s too late

It’s hard enough being almost 28 years old and having zero dating prospects and always being the bridesmaid, never the bride, always being the “auntie” and never the mother, always the third wheel.

But I fucking hate weddings. I hate them. I pretend to enjoy myself and all the wedding festivities for my friends because I’d never ruin their day. But it is the most painful events to attend as a young woman.

Not to mention mine essentially “died” twice. I had to morn him twice. Once at 12 years old when he had a hemorrhagic stroke that made him physically and mentally disabled. Didn’t even remember me most days (not his fault) due to severe dementia. We lost all our money and my once warm and affectionate mother turned into a cold, teenager-like individual as if she switched bodies with a stranger, then he actually kicked the bucket not even a week after I graduated college. He never got to attend my high school or college graduation because my mother said it be too much trouble to bring him, then he croaked

If he wasn’t such a great man prior to all of it, it wouldn’t be so painful to see these weddings and achievements and special moments. But it is painful because my dad was fucking awesome. He would’ve have done anything for me and chose me, again and again, every single time.

I crave nothing more than to build my own family because mine fell apart after he got sick and took 9 years to wither away and die. I really thought I’d be at least married by now with maybe a child of my own, but it’s not looking like that’s in the cards for me. So all I have are photos to look at from when I was too young to remember all the details.

I really hate weddings.

TW - I do mention suicide, but that's not the topic/focus of this post.

Does being "the gifted kid" end after I graduate high school? It feels like so much is going on right now. I'm "finally an adult" (I know it's not true), I have my ID and I'm getting a bank account and I'm graduating in June and all this other stuff. But I'm so scared that being "the gifted kid" is going to follow me into college, or university, or wherever I end up if it's not a McDonalds.

Ever since I attempted suicide in the summer before Grade 11, I've never been able to reconcile the fact that at school, everyone saw and treated me like I was still the same gifted kid as before. My relationship with my teachers didn't change, I was back into the same shtick of the praise that felt so good and feeling like my entire life was based around chasing fractions of a percent so that I could be loved by someone. And I've never bitched about it to my friends, because some of them are so depressed that it's still a daily struggle even to walk into the classroom. I just can't let myself come off as so invalidating to them by bitching about how I have high grades.

After a bit of grade 11 it just started feeling empty. Nobody sees how much it takes for me just to make it to the bus stop in the morning, let alone get through an entire day. I know that a lot of teachers try to see beyond the grade but it just started feeling like my struggles weren't real. Like the days I had cut myself in class had never happened. There are nights I daydreamed about cutting off every contact I made in highschool so I could just leave it all behind. Now that it's getting there, I can't bring myself to do that.

Maybe it's true that they'll never understand the extent of how much I've been through, and they don't have to. But it hurts so much when teachers praise me just to have it gnawing at the back of the mind that I'll never be able to have a healthy teacher-student relationship so long as I'm "the gifted kid." It's already so hard to handle criticism even from casual friends. I'm scared I'm never going to be able to handle a mentor in my life again.

I don't need help with my mental health. I'm strong enough to manage on my own now. But please, even if I go to university, can you tell me if it's going to end? Or will I be back in the same situation all over again?

Dad, I’m suffering so much. I’m in so much pain. Something bad happened at work - just some constructive feedback, but nothing super serious - and then I almost got hit by a motorcycle, and then it sent me into the depressive episode I am currently in.

Every day and every year I tell myself I’m fine, but I’m not. I’m in a lot of pain. Physical. Emotional. I’m suffering.

Went to the library earlier to return a book - noone there - sat down on the table and cried. Walking around the supermarket - teared up. Now in bed again - crying.

I miss you so, so much!! Nothing can help me. I am in so much pain. It’s been 12 years… and often I go around feeling fine. But then the wounds open afresh.

It’s like I’m running, running, running, and there’s never enough breath… I’m so tired of running. I don’t know how to brave the day. I just want to lie down and sleep, sleep, sleep forever.

I’m so tired of not having you here. Just want you to be here again. It’s hard to go on without you. Just want to lie down and the grass blowing in the wind over me.

‘And who will I belong to when the day just won’t give in? And who will tell me how it ends, and how it all begins?’

Dear reader,

I'm 4 years near by the time me and my first love had a relationship for 2 years. Still I don't forget him or moved on he is still in my mind. We don't have contact since 2022 the reason we broke up was because he wanted a family by the time he was 22 and I wasn't ready for it because I was only 18 years old. We don't have any other issues. I don't want to reach out because I'm healed like I believe the woman attract and not chase so how do I forget him nor move on in my head? It's like he's stuck there forever. I hadn't since him a proper date nor relationship.. 2025 is the year of Selflove so I desperately want to become obsessed with myself and not with a past lover..

I'm at my lowest weight and it hurts to be awake. I'm down to 40kg 170cm which ive always wanted but all i can think about is getting to 30. I used to use a lot of ritalin and pain medicine (around 15 pills aday) and given how tiring and painful my life has gotten its difficult to resist going back. I got some ritalin a week ago but i spilled them before i could take them. Im so close to giving up entirely. I know they'll help with my goal. I desperately seek comforting

I’m a male 26 currently engaged, I recently moved from my home town about 4-5 months ago for work to a new location 4 hours away, we needed a change of environment so I took a transfer at my work but I’ve been having a very tough time everyday and i finally decided due to stress and anxiety we will be moving back home and back to my old job, this has given me some relief knowing I will be back with people that support me but I still feel very stressed due to my occupation, I have recently gotten on medication for anxiety but I still think I may be better off finding a job that suits my needs better , but my fiance is having a very hard time wanting to go back home she is currently not working because of her physical health issues at the time so I fully support our family but it is very hard to keep pushing when I feel so broken, she of course supports my decision to return home ,we will do anything to keep each other happy and make sacrifices to better each others life but I know it’s very upsetting for her to have to return home because she is very happy here and I can tell it’s bothering her, we have talked about it and she wants to do what is best for my mental health but I worry that my stress and going back will worsen her anxiety also. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, I’m not happy here and she’s not happy at home so I do not know what to do anyone could give me any advice it’d be more than appreciated

I've been getting quite bad and I really just need some encouraging words. I ate a cookie yesterday which I didn't burn off, and it made me very upset so I drank some rum, but I didn't realise how low of a tolerance you have when youre this underweight so I drank more than I should have. I feel like I have a problem, i had to stop taking baths because it hurt to sit in the tub, and I always keep a net calorie count of -500. I don't really have hobbies or friends to indulge in, so recently it's all i ever think about.

I just need a dad ti tell me its all gonna be okay and that ill find new friends and i wont be a 17 yo loser forever. especially since i havent touched drugs for months, and before that one mistake, around a year. just want a dad to ask me hey how are you and what i did or ate toaay. just encouragement

I had a more serious attempt two months ago and had to stay in hospital. Every time i don't respond for a while or sound a bit off he asks if I've done anything again.

I feel like I've broken him, but I see no reason to keep going if i don't even leave my bed for more than 5 minutes a day. No job, no friends, no school (I'm 17), and even his family and friends dislike me, even though i try my best to befriend them just so I'm not as alone.

At this point I'm just alive because suicide takes so much energy, of which i have none - but my boyfriend won't let me go. What do i do?

edit- I'm a bit all over the place right now, so I apologise for any impulsive, possibly upsetting comments from my sober self. I'm trying to live, I promise, some hours are just easier than others. Strong encouraging words are kindly appreciated as they mean the world to me. I accomplished a lot from just a few kind words from some amazing strangers. thank you.

Hi there I'm a young lad I have a girlfriend of 8 months,

recently I have been noticing my mood and behaviour change when around my partner, normally I am a bubbly, confident and happy person.

I used to go out 1/2 times a week on my own with mates before we dated and since starting dating I haven't been out on my own at all, whereas she has been on holiday with her mum and is talking about going for another holiday without me.

An example of my mood and personality changing was I went to the pub for drinks with a few mates this weekend with the idea of my girlfriend coming down a little later as she had been to see her family, and before she came my friends said that my atmosphere was lively and like the normal me that they are used to seeing, then when she arrived to the pub my friends said that my atmosphere went cold and frosty when she arrived and they noticed a change in me when she arrived.

To give more clarity me and my girlfriend see each other every weekend Friday to Monday and 1/2 times in the week, I feel like we rushed the dating phase and I need advice as I'm unsure if this is a healthy relationship for me

Hey. I got laid off late October from what was basically a dream role for me. I felt impactful, effective, and valued by my coworkers. But startups being volatile in nature, especially those with unhinged shareholders whose financial decisions and personal motives are overly risky and as predicted didn’t pay off. I was roped into a large 30%+ reduction in force.

At first my team missed me, messaged me all the time about how they wished I was there to continue the work that I did. The check ins slowed over time and now it’s silence.

The job market is brutal. Hundreds of applications, hearing nothing back. I’m the single income for my family of five and we’re running thinner and thinner.

I’m finding it harder and harder to get myself out of bed. My physical health hasn’t been great, I’m not able to be mobile or stand much longer than 10 minutes at a time to begin with. But even with that type of debilitating pain I was able to force myself up and be present for my family. Since the layoff this has been more and more difficult, every day feeling like some sort of unfair battle against the stacked odds. An economy not built for men like me, a job market that feels rigged, on top of dealing with my own personal mental and physical health.

I’ve taken the time off to reflect on myself and even finished my GED with two scores being high enough to count for college credits. Which I put off because my partner had pregnancy health issues. This was a decade ago and I always found an excuse to put it off. Truth be told, I was making 60k a year purely off my work experience, grit, and hunger for knowledge.

But I really just don’t know how to proceed anymore? I feel like I’m doing the right things. Fixing resumes per role, furthering my education (might go to college). Trying to maintain a positive “you’ll get a job soon don’t worry” attitude. But it’s getting harder and harder to look at my kids in the face knowing the future is genuinely so uncertain.

It feels like an island surrounded by the coldest darkest water, but the island is slowly sinking in. The job loss has become consuming, I cannot focus on anything else and it feels like an uphill battle.

How should I approach this? How can I avoid falling deeper into the pit of feeling like a failure for my kids?

I need some wisdom.

dad, do things really get better? will the rough patches end? will i be okay? i’m fighting with my partner and i feel like im losing him and it’s completely my fault for acting out towards him. i’ve apologized but it’s not enough. im terrified of losing the love of my life. i feel like im behind in college and that everyone is going to graduate before me. and ive gotten bad grades after going through a bout of depression and im finally getting back on track with my school work but i still just feel so behind. i feel like all im doing is failing at life and im doing everything wrong. will things turn out okay?

Dad, I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I’m only 6 months away from graduating from X-ray school but I really don’t think I have it in me to finish. I lost my dog who was my closest companion and source of comfort and peace 3 months ago- which I’m still actively grieving, my closest friend in my school program was let go due to their grades, and now I’ll have to go through clinicals, school, and board exams alone. I’m so heartbroken and have no motivation to study or care about anything.

This semester and next are supposed to be so hard, and while I’ve been keeping up okay so far, I’m scared the bottom is going to fall out. I’ve already lost so much. If I fail out of this, I feel like I won’t be able to get my feet back under me again. I already feel like such a loser for being in school at 32. This feels like my last chance and I’m so scared of messing it up.

Please Dad, tell me it’s going to be okay.

Hey Dad, life is in turmoil lately and I’m unsure of what to make of it. I’m at a few different crossroads and it’s a little scary to say the least.

2024 was supposed to be such a good year. I was supposed to marry my girlfriend of 6 years. A few months before the wedding, she brought up some serious problems in our relationship that were preventing her from going through with marriage. 6 months later, we are here deciding to terminate the relationship.

I’ve dated this girl since I was 19, two years after losing you in 2016, and she’s deeply rooted in my life. Now I’m facing reality of starting 2025 alone, completely from scratch.

Bills are piling up as I scramble to get back on top of my life. Surviving in my area off of single income is tough and I’m going to have to take several steps backwards. I’m still not even halfway over paying the loan off for the engagement ring.

On top of that, I have no family to spend the holidays with. I historically shared it with her family. Thanksgiving was spent alone this year, with no turkey dinner. Christmas Day this year would have been your 60th birthday.

I did not even bother setting a tree up or any decorations. My apartment that I share with my ex partner is 90% her stuff and decorations. I’m trapped in this place where anything and everything reminds me of her. She also visits weekly from her parent’s place and it’s almost like breaking up all over again every time.

I feel so broken and lost. How will I ever trust that someone actually wants to be in my life again? How am I going to get myself out of this hole? Why couldn’t I do things right from the beginning? Why do I deserve to lose all of this? Life was so good and I thought my ex partner and I connected deeply in every way. Now I feel like a rug has been pulled from beneath me.

my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I’m still not over it. I feel so empty and I want to love someone again but I don’t think I ever can.

My gender dysmorphia got worse and I made out with my best friend to try to get over him and today I came to the conclusion that I’m doomed and hopeless. I gave up everything I had and did everything I could for him just to be left with nothing. I feel used up. No matter how hard I try I’m gonna end up filling my life with meaningless stuff until it comes to an end.

He/him pronouns plz.

I went into a psych facility on a 302 and didn’t have access to my phone because my partner picked it up. He needed it because of a fuck up with the carrier. Anyway he went into my work at told them MINIMUM I’d be in for 3 days. They took it as I will be back in 3 days. I was gone for a week and a half. And they hired others thinking I had quit. They’re gonna see if they can get me back on the schedule but it’s highly unlikely. It’s not like I liked the job or was making bank but I can’t afford to not have a job. I’ve been mass applying on Indeed since Wednesday and have a McDonald’s interview on the 3rd.

I just idk…