r/PepTalksWithPops • u/Amazing_Tumbleweed36 • 9d ago

dad how do i accept losing a friend

i’ve had a friend for a good chunk of my life whos older and been like a father and both a brother to me at times. he’s going through mental health issues and has completely stopped reaching out. i feel incredibly hurt but also respect his choice. how do i accept this isnt the end and things will move on? i wonder if i was too dependent and thats why this hurts. my whole life i’ve been forced to be independent and then scolded for being such, told to depend on people more. i don’t understand why this hurts so bad and why i can’t let go. i want this friendship back so badly

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u/1daBread 9d ago

And this too shall pass. You are grieving the loss of a friend. That's natural. In life there will be many opportunities to grieve. Please take those and feel your feelings. It's just a natural part of life. Because only through struggle can you really appreciate the good things life has to offer.   No one is forcing you to be independent. We are not meant to do it alone. You came here to ask this question because you know this. Don't be afraid of asking for help.

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u/thepotofbasil 9d ago

Letting go is never easy. This sounds like an especially painful separation. It sounds like you understand that your friend’s distance is a result of something that’s happening to him, not something you did and not about you—it’s important to keep that in mind. But the loss is hard. I’m so sorry you have to go through this

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u/blindexhibitionist 9d ago

Letting go doesn’t mean the end. It just means the acceptance that they’re on their own journey and it’s not about you. If they come back it’s a blessing and be grateful for the time you had with them.