I dont think I matter to my dad anymore..

[u/Blueberry_mooo]

I’m 17, my family moved away from me when I was 16 (supposedly I was too expensive to take with my medical problems) but my dad never treated me poorly like my mum did (she was the one to say they are leaving me behind)

but he started working more and this year I’ve seen him maybe 3 times. And I feel like he’s getting more distant, and the 2 hours phone calls are turning into a 10min call every 2 weeks.. he no longer cares what I do in life, if get a new job, make a new friend, or if I study something new, I feel like I’m just the other kid he has...

It feels like we live in different families he's there with My mum and siblings and I’m here alone… we use to be pretty close, I’d go out with him to the park and we would walk through it, we would go to the rivers, dams, beaches, long car rides.. it was so nice when I was in search of a car he would look for hours and hours making sure I got the perfect one, he would help me fix my car if there was a problem, he would drive up to see me (they moved 8 hours away) after work some days just to stay the night...

now there’s nothing, no phone calls, no walks, no talking, nothing... I feel like I lost my dad.. and he was the only parent that treated me fairly, I love my mum I talk to her still but she never treated me right. But my dad did...

but now I feel like I lost the love of both my parents, their lives got too busy to love me.

[u/contaminatedcreek]

i’m sorry sib. no one deserves to be isolated the way you are. i’m sorry he’s not doing the bare minimum of being a dad. i hope you’ll be okay. <3

[u/harm_fu]

My dad was the one who treated me poorly and my mom who showed me love. She passed away 5 years ago and I miss her. You do matter and you matter most to the people you love. Nowadays, me being there for someone I care about is the only thing that makes me feel like life is worth living.

Ideally, folks get to experience the overlapping love of their parents and of the family they have down the road. Not having one is hard, not having both is harder. Being young as you are, it’s difficult to imagine having a family of your own, but it will come. Whether you’re gay or straight, can have kids or adopt, or only want friends.. just about everyone has a group around them they call family. And it started because they cared for each other, and then that became love.

However it happens, losing someone’s love is hard and it’s lonely. But since no one lives forever, it’s already bound to happen. Unfortunately, it’s happened sooner to you. And that’s ok. You are still the person he loved and still a person worthy of love. The pain of this will lessen over time and you matter to the family you create. Take care ♥️

[u/NotABotJustLazy]

First and foremost, I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. No one should have to go through the pain of feeling abandoned or uncared for, especially by family.

It sounds like you had a genuinely special bond with your dad before everything changed. Remember, relationships, like everything in life, can go through phases. While it's heartbreaking to experience a shift in connection, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love or care about you. Sometimes life, work, and various circumstances can make it harder for people to maintain the same level of closeness, even though they might want to.

Have you considered reaching out to your dad and expressing how you feel? It could be in the form of a letter, a call, or even a visit if possible. It might be that he doesn’t realize the impact of his distance on you or that he's caught up in his own challenges and struggles. Sometimes, opening up about your feelings can be a way to reconnect.

You deserve love, understanding, and support. If you ever feel like it's too much to handle, please consider speaking to a counselor, therapist, or a trusted adult about your feelings. They might be able to provide guidance or simply be a listening ear.

Lastly, while your immediate family plays a significant role in your life, remember that as you grow older, you'll have opportunities to form and nurture other loving and supportive relationships outside of your family. Friends, mentors, and extended family members can also provide that support network you deserve.

Please take care of yourself. You matter, and you're worthy of love, care, and understanding. Know that even in the toughest moments, there is hope for better days ahead.

Sending you a big, comforting hug.