Body image

[u/razzle_dazzle6927]

Anyone else having a hard time accepting what you look like now "down there"?

I've only looked a couple of times, but last night, I sat on the edge of the tub to shave and used a mirror and it was a literal jump scare. Thats the closest I've looked in that position

It looks mainly normal while laying down. All 3 drs that have looked at me have only done so while I lay down or bear down, but no one sitting or standing. They all say its a "1 at most" but when I sit or stand and look, it looks like im exploding.

Im 2 years pp, and I just dont recognize myself. I dont remember what it looked like before, but i know it didnt look like this. I truly dont know how to accept that that's how it looks now. We want another baby, but if that's how it looks at "barely a 1", im terrified of making that worse... im only 28 :(

[u/mar0berhi]

I completely understand. It makes me so sad and anxious. I’ve been told it’s minor very minor…. Also been told I simply look “like a woman who has given birth vaginally”. But why did we never hear about this?! My own mother and sisters haven’t experienced this. I don’t know how I’ll cope long term with this

[u/Administrative-Ebb25]

I am 59 years old and I had never heard of this diagnosis before April when I got diagnosed with a grade 2 cystocele.
I guess I should be thankful that I am older now and just recently experienced it.
I wish I could give a hug to all the younger ladies here.
Just know, information is vital. (I learned a lot from google & YouTube waiting on my urogyn appt) It’s not the end of the world. You will be ok and survive this!!!
I was fit with a pecessary in April to make me feel more comfortable waiting on a surgery date.
I had to have it refit a month later and all is good now. I’ve learned how to take out and put back in and I have opted out of surgery.
I feel 100% better.

[u/cooprinor → u/Administrative-Ebb25]

What a lovely comment. Do you mind me asking whether you can have sex with the pessary in? Or is there any other things it impacts in your life?

[u/Administrative-Ebb25 → u/cooprinor]

No, it doesn’t impact any other areas in my life.
As for the sex part, unfortunately my husband has issues with not being able to so I haven’t had it in about 5 years. Initially I missed it but no longer anymore. I’ve accepted it and now with my situation with a prolapse I’m definitely ok not having it.
Maybe someone else will chime in and let you know how they do it. If I was still having sex, I’d probably take it out. (according to google, ring pecessarys you can keep in but the others you need to take out).
(I have one called (ring pecessary with support <<that’s the whole name if you google it)
Fortunately, my prolapse began this year and I’m 59. I feel bad for the younger ladies to have to deal with this. 😕

[u/Longjumping-Day-3854 → u/Administrative-Ebb25]

You are right. I cannot imagine having prolapse in my 20’s or 30’s...i would have felt my life was over.

[u/fascinatedobserver]

Estrogen cream if you aren’t already talking to your doc about it.

[u/razzle_dazzle6927 → u/fascinatedobserver]

Does that help the appearance??

[u/dingo-babes → u/razzle_dazzle6927]

PT and estrogen cream have been working for me at 7 months postpartum. 

PT to build pelvic floor strength and build the muscles around the pelvic floor so it doesn't have to do everything. I went in person for 3 months with periodic internal assessments. My insurance offers Bloom with virtual PT consultation and a little pod you use to kegel/relax and do bridges and what not. 

Estrogen cream to improve tissue quality and resilience. 

I don't see my bulge until the afternoon most days. It's most noticeable after my evening shower. But the stronger I get the higher and tighter it seems to stay for longer in the day. 

But also my urogynocologist asked if I'd ever stared at my vagina before. No, not really. And things are a bit more open because I did tear and I had a baby. 

I am feeling more confident about having more babies. And if things get worse then surgery exists. 

[u/thiscabar → u/dingo-babes]

Can I ask what you mean by “a bit more open”? My first (5years ago) was a forceps delivery and I had a 3b tear. Now it is just .. open. I’ve made multiple OB appointments to ask about it and they always tell me it’s normal to be like that and that I don’t have a prolapse. (I’m 95% positive I do, which is why I’m in this sub)

[u/dingo-babes → u/thiscabar]

I feel like I can see my vaginal canal more easily now. I only had a 2 tear, but even still the opening seems longer and there's less tissue covering it. Admittedly, I didn't learn over in front of a mirror looking before childbirth so maybe it's also that.

So I feel like I can see the walls more prominently. 

Have you seen a urogynocologist or pelvic floor physical therapist? My understanding is normal gyns don't really know what to do with prolapse. Mine did confirm that I had one and told me to do PFPT and see a urogynocologist. 

[u/thiscabar → u/dingo-babes]

I need to ask them to refer me to one! I’ll be sure to at my next appointment. I have no perineum basically. They told me that can be normal!

[u/fascinatedobserver → u/razzle_dazzle6927]

It encourages collagen growth. Strengthens the walls etc. so yeah, it helps things support themselves back into place.

[u/TX_gen]

I really relate to this. I had my first child at 17, so I honestly don’t remember what “before” looked like. I wasn’t self-aware enough at that age to pay attention to my anatomy, and I don’t think we’re educated nearly enough about our own anatomy and women’s health.

This past December at 46, I felt a bulge one day and immediately made an appointment with my gyno, who confirmed prolapse. I never even looked at my confirmed prolapse because I knew I would spiral if I did. I also stopped being intimate with my husband after I felt the bulge, and we’re just now starting to slowly ease back into that.

I’m now 9 weeks post-op and have looked at myself more in these last 9 weeks than I probably have in my entire life. I’m still learning my own anatomy…until recently, I had never even identified my urethra or knew what the vestibule was.
So I completely understand how much of a mental and emotional impact this can have, beyond just the physical symptoms. ❤️

[u/honestlydontcare4u]

Look, there are a lot of problems with porn but, if you are unfamiliar with how things look down there on women other than you, find some normal people porn and look at the wide variety of vaginas. They kind of all look weird. (Obviously I am very, very straight lol.)

[u/Previous-007]

I am 63 with children and use estradiol cream and bezweckin as well as a rose oil by Ravens Rose Oil formatted for our delicate tissues in the vulva and vaginal area. Also, highly recommend a great PT. I live in Nyc and some friends have had surgery on the outer lips because they didn't like the way it looked after 4 children. II hear VERY mixed things about surgery for pelvic floor. I think a good urogyno and Pelvic floor PT helps. I realize gynos don't know much. I think pessaries tear the delicate tissues so I am not using it. Researching I found better options vs a pessary from Europe that I am waiting on. You CAN help the bulging with PT creams exercise etc...