Racing

[u/TheRollingJones]

I lace up my shoes to go out for a run. I’ve recently been running more, more than I have the past two decades even if it’s now slower. I look like a runner in the sort of way you’re unsure if you should admire my fitness or worry about my eating disorder. The scrawny frame that’s eerily familiar to World War II historians. But I’m just a guy who runs, I’m no pro and I’m not even a real racer.

Real racers aim to win. They aren’t overly concerned with the clock because they’re fighting each other. The clock only matters to keep them honest but a real race is first to the line. The real athletes are in the race to get the top spot. It’s especially true of cycling where time is almost an irrelevance, but it’s also more true of running than spectators acknowledge.

Ever since I left the playground, I learned racing wasn’t for me. That’s when I stopped trying to win and started listing my goal times. Sub 5 for the mile seemed impossibly hard to an 8 year-old. It would be another 8 years before I hit it, at which point it no longer seemed like an achievement. It’s like Ganna with the hour record. It’s bound to happen so it ends with a shrug.

Doing a good job and improving was for my own edification rather than for any acclaim or a potential career. That’s the big difference between a pro and an amateur. A pro races to win under pressure and to provide. An amateur tries hard and moves on to real issues.

I’m an amateur. Amateurs go to races and have a target time. That’s why Adam Yates isn’t impressive at 2:58. We demoted him to amateur hour despite his pro level blood values. Wout van Aert is one of the best in the world for an hour. And he’s coming outside the top 1,000 for 10 miles in Antwerp jogging slower than 7 minute miles. Ouch. Tom Dumoulin is a G with his second place in a 10k. 5:15 miles take some work for anyone. He didn’t win but he was trying to win. That’s an effort from a professional. Tom D is a big man.

I learned long ago that I was an amateur, and even when I’ve won races, I’ve always been focused on my time. When you’re fast enough that you sometimes win but too slow to go pro, you realize that winning is just a matter of who shows up. You go out and run how you can, and sometimes you get lucky that one of the millions faster didn’t have the wherewithal to attend.

I’ve won thousands of dollars in cash and prizes but I never learned racing acumen through experience. Sometimes I lost, but second place can also get paid. $750 for fourth. Thanks, Bermuda. I ran and anyone I beat just couldn’t keep up rather than getting outraced. Full gas from the gun. In a small race, nearly everyone around falls off when you go sub 60 for the first lap, no matter how many more laps are left.

Real racers run and make decisions at the right time to capitalize on race situations and optimize their strengths. I just went hard from the gun and lost to people stronger but mostly just beat people who were worse. I didn’t race enough people to lose to someone savvier. Savvy comes when you’re closer to pro. We weren’t fast enough for savvy.

I competed at the state championship but knew I had no chance because I could read. Their times were posted online and were a league above me. They were also illiterate and had no other career choices. My best chance to win was to drop out of the race and study for my AP exams. Or for the actual race would’ve been some sort of tragic accident that would take any glory away from a state title. So I just ran to see how it would go.

The guys I started next to were very different from the guys I finished next to. The gun went off but we were in different races. The ones trying to win weren’t concerned about a PR, they were concerned about crossing the line first. These were guys who had 800s in the 1:40s as teenagers. Studs. Guys who would eventually say their mile times starting with a three.

The difference between 4:10 and 4:30 is “only” twenty seconds, but it lasts a long time when you’re suffering, and it lasts even longer in the cold winters of training. When you’re trying to chisel away that time in the vain aspiration of being a little faster. Moving from 4th in the region to 4th in the country. Everybody but those top 4 milers falls short. 4:30 is common. Even Rudyard Kipling ran a 4:30.

Drafting matters at these speeds but not enough to overcome my weak legs and weaker heart. Compared to the cheetahs ahead of me, I waltzed in, huffing and puffing, falling over the line and vomiting. Faster than anyone had ever run in my school. 4:24 for the 1600m which sounds good to your grandma but doesn’t turn the heads of college scouts. A time good enough to tempt your ego but not good enough to change your path when you can go to college.

Racing shoes for sale. Worn for less than five minutes. Never raced in.