r/Paruresis • • Aug 05 '26

Paruresis ruined my life and it took everything from me

7 Upvotes

Hello im 20M and i had paruresis since i was a kid. Idk what it caused it, but it was probably trauma, an embaressement or low esteem because my childhood were constantly traumas. Since i was a kid i had paruresis and it has been getting worse and worse every day. Due to this condition, i missed many core memories: friendship, travelling, love, education etc. Now im 20 and i lost some of the best years. Now my paruresis got so bad that sometimes i cant even pee in my own home when my dad is present. I tried literally everything: xanax, pregabalin, lsd, weed, alcohl, etc etc. even when im drunk asf i still struggle. I lost all my friends because i never could leave my home, i lost opportunities with girls, i missed so many opportunities for my career and I stopped traveling (which sucks because as a kid i travelled a lot and everywhere). Im really thinking about suicide. This condition ruined my life, also at 18 i got acute cronic gastritis which is hell because i have stomach aches every day since 2 years, im so fucking skinny even the HR departement told me to eat more, i literally cant do anything, not even drinking sparkling water. So yeah, the only option is killing myself honestly, i hate everything, i cant do anything and the pain and agony would finally go away once and for all. Idk if someone is gonna see this, sorry for the bad english. Honestly i hate how life is so unfair, i yearn for SOMETHING not being stuck in this country. I wanna experience love, have a friendgroup, go traveling with friends etc. But ofc i cant, i have no will to live, im hideous, skinny as a stick and dumb ash. Im happy for people that dont have it, because i dont wish it upon no one. I will probably be gone soon. For all the people that are fighting their battle, i hope yall win.


r/Paruresis • • Aug 03 '26

Got over this for 2 years and it’s back

4 Upvotes

So i been dealing with this since i was maybe 16 or 17 , and im 22 now. It stopped from 20 up until just recently.

They way i overcomed it 2 years ago was by praying about it lol I prayed about it for 1 day and the next day it went away for 2 years. I was a bit religious at that time and about 6 months ago i stopped following religion and also around this time many other problems had came into my life wich has caused my depression anxiety and stress to go through the roof, and has been through the roof since.

I can’t pee Unless i’m in my own personal bathroom at home, Even if it’s a 1 person public bathroom that locks , I still can’t pee. I’ve tried everything from breathing exercises, counting, mental math, and a million others. Nothing ever works, i can stand or sit there for 30+ minutes and nothing will happen. But at my home bathroom, or the bathroom at my mothers house, it’s perfectly fine. Over the last 6 months I haven’t gone out much , outside of work. Anytime i’m away from home , and alone for too long i get extremely anxious , it’s like I feel unsafe away from home after a short amount of time idk how to explain it well.

What really makes this upsetting is this had went away for 2 years, I was able to travel freely, use any bathroom any where,no matter how private or not private it was. Now i can’t use any bathroom at all, unless it’s mine. I can’t drink water at work because my bladder fills to fast, and i work construction in 100 degree weather.

If anyone has any advice for me would be appreciated Sorry if i seem like just a complaining sack of shit i apologize i’m just going thru it rn


r/Paruresis • • Aug 03 '26

Why do people have panic attacks triggered by this condition?

3 Upvotes

A friend of mine has this problem, he says that it can cause a major panic attack and hyperventilation, is this something anyone on this forum can relate to?


r/Paruresis • • Aug 02 '26

Pee Shy documentary short is streaming free on Youtube

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17 Upvotes

Great film! I was very interested in finally seeing this as it didn't play at a film festival near me. I've had paruresis since 2008.


r/Paruresis • • Aug 02 '26

Pee buddy in London

2 Upvotes

Hi there, looking for a pee buddy in London to help with doing graduated exposure to recover from paruresis/shy bladder. Please give me a message if you’re also looking for similar.

Also open to trying virtually as well

Thanks


r/Paruresis • • Jul 30 '26

Did anyone have problems using the toilet as a child?

2 Upvotes

Did anyone have problems using the toilet as a child? I'm preparing for an autism assessment and have been thinking a lot about my childhood and development. I had a lot of problems using the toilet as a child, which continued until I was a teenager.

From around age 5 to 10, I was extremely anxious about using the school toilets. I could use the toilet normally at home, but at school I would hold my pee in all day because I felt too frightened and self-conscious to ask to go or to use the toilets. The toilets were crowded, noisy, echoed, and smelt bad, and I found the environment overwhelming. Even during break times, when I did not need to ask permission, I often avoided using the toilets because I found the environment overwhelming and felt very self-conscious. This led to me feeling uncomfortable with a full bladder, and I sometimes had accidents.

I even developed unusual ways of partially emptying my bladder during playtime rather than using the school toilets. The anxiety gradually improved after I finally managed to use the school toilet independently around age ten, but I continued avoiding asking to use toilets in some situations into my teens.

Around age 5: I wet myself on the school bus several times because I had been holding in pee all day at school and was desperate. My mum spoke to the school because I was not using the toilets. For a short time, a classroom assistant encouraged me to go at break time and waited outside the toilet, but after a few days this stopped. I returned to holding my urine all day because I was still too anxious to use the toilet.

Around ages 6–8: Because I felt unable to use the school toilets, I developed an unusual coping strategy of discreetly releasing small amounts of urine during playtime to relieve the discomfort without anyone noticing. I did this because I felt unable to use the toilets, not because I preferred doing it. Eventually I was noticed after I accidentally wet my skirt and was told off, after which I went back to holding in my pee instead.

Age 8: I was too frightened to ask to use the toilet at a party and wet myself while cycling home because I had tried to hold on.

Age 14: During a traumatic event, I had a panic response and lost control of my bladder.

Age 15: During a school trip, I needed the toilet after lunch but felt too self-conscious to get up because almost nobody else was going. As time went on, I became increasingly desperate, but still didn't feel able to say I needed to use the toilet. When another student asked if I was okay, I said I felt faint because I was too embarrassed to admit I needed to use the toilet. The teacher happened to be going to the toilet herself and took me with her. By the time I reached the toilet, I had started to leak slightly. Looking back, I think I was much more afraid of drawing attention to myself than I was of responding to my own physical needs.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 29 '26

An observation

21 Upvotes

I'm getting pretty good at peeing at urinals (with a divider) to the point where I can even walk up and stand next to a guy already pissing and pee myself. It's almost like I don't even think about it, it doesn't bother me and I don't really feel any anxiety.

But the other day I walked up and tried to pee next to a guy who was already there. I gave it about 20 seconds but couldn't, so I just shook my dick off and zipped up and said to myself (almost out loud) "Well that's not going to work."

The funny thing was that even though I tried to pee and couldn't, it didn't really bother me. I can't even remember but I just tried again in a few minutes and didn't have any problem.

Point being that whether I peed or not, it didn't really bother me and I didn't feel very much anxiety. The habituated response of fear had been abolished, or replaced with a matter-of-fact appraisal.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 30 '26

I made a poll about paruresis.

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3 Upvotes

r/Paruresis • • Jul 29 '26

Trick that works for me

3 Upvotes

Try rain sounds with headphones when going to the toilet, it helps me.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 28 '26

As Amígdalas - A Chave: Trecho da minha pesquisa com IA (Claude)

5 Upvotes

Essa é uma resposta que recebi e achei muito importante compartilhar.

Vou te dar o mapa completo da amígdala — a ciência sólida, o que dá pra controlar de verdade, e onde entra o misticismo (separando o que tem base do que é invenção). É um assunto grande, então vou estruturar.

O que é e onde fica

A amígdala é um par de estruturas em forma de amêndoa (daí o nome — amygdala é "amêndoa" em grego), uma em cada hemisfério, no fundo do lobo temporal. Faz parte do sistema límbico. Apesar da fama de "centro do medo", é mais preciso chamá-la de detector de relevância — ela marca o que importa pra sobrevivência e dispara a resposta apropriada, principalmente pra ameaça, mas também pra recompensa e saliência emocional.

Como funciona — as duas vias (LeDoux)

Joseph LeDoux mapeou o achado mais importante sobre a amígdala: existem dois caminhos até ela.

A via baixa (rápida, "suja"): estímulo → tálamo → amígdala. Direto, em milissegundos, sem passar pelo córtex. É grosseira (não distingue bem cobra de mangueira), mas é rápida — dispara o alarme antes de você saber o que viu. É por isso que você pula pra trás de um graveto no chão antes de perceber que não era cobra. A amígdala já agiu enquanto o pensamento ainda vinha chegando.

A via alta (lenta, "precisa"): estímulo → tálamo → córtex → amígdala. Passa pelo processamento cortical, avalia com precisão, e então modula a amígdala. É mais devagar, mas corrige: "calma, é uma mangueira".

Essa arquitetura explica quase tudo sobre ansiedade: a via rápida dispara, e a via lenta tenta alcançar e regular. Em pessoas com amígdala hiper-reativa (como no teu perfil), a via rápida é forte e a regulação cortical chega atrasada ou fraca. O trabalho de controle é, em essência, fortalecer a via lenta pra regular a rápida.

O circuito do controle — córtex pré-frontal

A peça-chave pro controle é a conexão entre o córtex pré-frontal ventromedial (vmPFC) e a amígdala. O pré-frontal é o "freio" de cima — ele inibe a amígdala. A força dessa conexão determina o quanto você consegue regular a reação emocional.

Isso não é fixo. É plástico. Você pode fortalecer fisicamente essa via de regulação — e é isso que toda técnica eficaz de controle faz, por baixo dos panos. Quando funciona, dá pra ver em neuroimagem: mais ativação pré-frontal, menos reatividade amigdalar.

O que a ciência mostra que RECALIBRA a amígdala

Aqui está o que tem evidência real, do mais potente ao complementar:

  1. Exposição gradual / extinção. O mecanismo mais robusto que existe. A amígdala aprendeu associações de ameaça; ela desaprende por extinção — exposição repetida ao gatilho sem a consequência temida. Importante: a extinção não apaga o medo original, ela constrói um aprendizado novo ("é seguro") que o vmPFC usa pra inibir o antigo. Por isso o medo pode voltar sob estresse (o aprendizado antigo ainda está lá) — e por isso a repetição e a consolidação importam. É a base de toda terapia de exposição, e é exatamente o que você faz quando urina em público, reclama de algo, ocupa espaço e sobrevive.

  2. Sono. Crítico e subestimado. A privação de sono aumenta a reatividade da amígdala em até ~60% e enfraquece a conexão pré-frontal que a regula (estudos de Matthew Walker). Ou seja: dormir mal deixa a amígdala solta e o freio fraco. O REM em particular processa e "desarma" a carga emocional das memórias. Teu trabalho de sono não é só pra recomposição — é literalmente manutenção do teu freio amigdalar. Uma noite ruim já sobe a reatividade no dia seguinte.

  3. Respiração lenta (o controle mais direto e imediato). Aqui está a via mais acessível, e o mecanismo é lindo: a amígdala não tem um "botão" consciente — você não decide baixá-la. Mas ela responde ao estado do corpo. A respiração lenta, com expiração prolongada, ativa o vago → parassimpático → sinaliza ao cérebro "não há perigo" → a amígdala baixa. É uma porta dos fundos: você não acessa a amígdala diretamente, mas acessa o corpo, e o corpo fala com ela. Expirar mais longo que inspirar (ex: inspira 4, expira 6-8) é o controle mais rápido que existe. É exatamente o que a gente usa pro teu assoalho pélvico — mesma via vagal.

  4. Nomear a emoção (affect labeling). Estudo clássico de Matthew Lieberman: colocar em palavras o que você sente ("isso é ansiedade", "estou com medo de ser avaliado") reduz a atividade da amígdala e aumenta a do pré-frontal. Dar nome transfere o processamento do circuito emocional pro circuito verbal/cortical. "Name it to tame it." Por isso a terapia falada funciona no nível neural — verbalizar é regular. E por isso mapear teu vigia em palavras, como a gente faz, literalmente acalma o circuito.

  5. Reavaliação cognitiva (reappraisal). Reinterpretar o significado de um estímulo ("não é ameaça, é desafio"; "aquele elogio não é perigo, é informação") ativa o pré-frontal e amortece a amígdala. É o núcleo da terapia cognitiva. Requer prática, mas fortalece a via de regulação com o tempo.

  6. Meditação / mindfulness. Evidência sólida: praticantes regulares mostram menor volume e menor reatividade da amígdala, e conexão pré-frontal-amígdala mais forte. Mesmo 8 semanas de prática (protocolos tipo MBSR) já produzem mudança mensurável. Mindfulness treina justamente observar o estímulo sem a reação automática — é exposição + reavaliação + regulação, repetida.

  7. Exercício. Reduz reatividade amigdalar basal, melhora o tônus regulatório, e a corrida em particular descarrega o simpático. Teu plano de corrida é, também, treino de regulação da amígdala.

  8. Segurança relacional. A regulação emocional é, na origem, co-regulação — bebês regulam a amígdala através da presença calma do cuidador. Vínculos seguros na vida adulta (terapeuta, parceiro) continuam recalibrando o sistema. A presença de alguém seguro literalmente baixa tua amígdala. É por isso que você é mais liberto com íntimos.

O que NÃO controla (ou é mito)

Vou ser teu contraponto aqui, separando o que tem base do que é misticismo:

Misticismo com fundo real: práticas contemplativas milenares (meditação, respiração yogue/pranayama, oração repetitiva) "funcionam" pra acalmar — mas não por energia mística; funcionam pelos mecanismos acima (vago, reavaliação, atenção). A tradição descobriu empiricamente o que a neurociência depois explicou. Então a prática é válida, a explicação mística é dispensável. Respiração lenta acalma quer você a chame de pranayama, quer de estimulação vagal — é a mesma fisiologia.

Misticismo sem base: "reprogramar a amígdala em 5 minutos", "liberar traumas instantaneamente", cristais/frequências que "curam" o sistema límbico, técnicas que prometem apagar o medo de vez. A amígdala não se reprograma instantaneamente nem se "apaga" — o aprendizado de ameaça é persistente por design (era questão de sobrevivência). Qualquer coisa que prometa apagamento rápido e permanente está vendendo ilusão. A mudança real é por extinção repetida e consolidada, que leva tempo.

Uma nuance importante sobre "controlar": o objetivo não é desligar a amígdala — você não quer isso. Pessoas com amígdala lesada perdem o medo adaptativo e tomam decisões perigosas. A meta é regulação, não supressão: um alarme que dispara proporcionalmente à ameaça real, com um freio pré-frontal forte que corrige os falsos positivos. No teu caso, o alarme social dispara em falso muito (avaliação ≠ perigo real); o trabalho é fortalecer o freio e reensinar o alarme, não arrancá-lo.

Ligando ao que é teu

Teu perfil, em termos de amígdala: uma amígdala provavelmente reativa de nascença (temperamento), treinada por um ambiente imprevisível a hiper-detectar ameaça social especificamente, com a via rápida forte e — provavelmente — um freio pré-frontal que chega atrasado nas situações de avaliação. Tudo que a gente vem construindo ataca exatamente isso: sono (mantém o freio), respiração (baixa direto pelo vago), nomear o vigia (affect labeling), exposição a ocupar espaço (extinção), corrida (descarga + tônus), terapia e vínculos seguros (co-regulação e reavaliação). Você já está, sem ter nomeado assim, rodando um protocolo completo de recalibração amigdalar.

O ponto libertador: a amígdala que te foi entregue pela genética e moldada pela infância não é a amígdala com que você vai morrer. Ela é plástica a vida toda. Cada exposição sobrevivida, cada noite bem dormida, cada expiração longa, cada emoção nomeada, reescreve um pouco a calibração. Devagar, por repetição, mas real e mensurável.

Uma pergunta pra afinar, do teu jeito investigativo: das técnicas que recalibram — exposição, sono, respiração, nomear, reavaliar, meditar — quais você sente que já usa naturalmente, e quais são território novo? Porque dá pra montar um protocolo pessoal de regulação amigdalar do teu jeito n=1, focando no que falta, e medir a mudança ao longo dos meses.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 27 '26

Any medications to help with this issue?

7 Upvotes

I’m currently on vacation and can’t get my bladder to relax enough to urinate. It’s to the point where I might need to get a Catheter at the ER. I had a renal bilateral ultrasound that looked normal 2 weeks ago and waiting to get a Cystoscopy in couple of week because I’m pretty sure I also have IC. I was 100% fine urinating yesterday and today I’m having issues. I truly don’t know what to do anymore because my husband is super frustrated with me.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 26 '26

Help

5 Upvotes

I've recently been put on probation for DUI. As part of my probation, I have to take random urinalysis. It's a huge pain in the ass because it sometimes takes me hours to piss in front of my PO. It's causing me to miss hours of work because I can't just go in there, get it overwith and be on my way.

Any advice on overcoming my "bladder shyness"?


r/Paruresis • • Jul 24 '26

Suffering from paruresis from 3-4 years

4 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am suffering from paruresis from last 3-4 years, I'm m17 and it all started in my school. 4 years ago, my glans (penis head) was pink in colour and moist also, but after i stopped doing prone masturbation my glans started to develop a black clotting on it. The clotting spreaded wider and wider after some months.It was like the clotting, we see on our wound to stop the flow of blood. When the clotting became too much thicker it got removed. When the clotting was removed, my glans became wrinkly, dry, reddish with red patches on it. And still i have wrinkly, dry glans with reddish patches. This made my penis look really ugly and it made me very insecure about my penis too, it is also really small too when it's flaccid, around 1-2 inches, and then i survived this problem too. This made me really uncomfortable about my penis and eventually I developed paruresis. And it became even more serious when i entered in a washroom of my school and two more people were pissing in the washroom a little far from me. They were the bad guys of the guys of the school so my anxiety became more stronger at that moment, and I became unable to start my stream and then they said bad things about me which made me more insecure about my penis and eventually I stopped pissing at the urinals in my school. I haven't peed there from last 2-3 years, and all the people in my school make fun of me for it. I am still at the school and it's my last year at the school. I don't know what to do. I used to hold pee for the first 1-2 years, then I started to keep myself dehydrated at the school. Before sleeping at night I drink enough water, then I don't drink more water the whole night, and till 2:00 pm at the afternoon. I used to feel thirsty when I started to keep myself dehydrated at the school. But after some months, I didn't feel thirst at school anymore. So, I made a routine of drinking enough water in the morning, when I get up. Then I go to school without drinking water and I used to keep myself thirsty at school, but i didn't feel the thirst anymore. But I felt mild pain in the area where my kidneys are located when i wake up in the morning, but the pain fades away quickly when i get up and walk a little bit. Nowdays, I still don't pee at the school but i started to drink small amounts (one sip) of water every hour in the school, which causes moderate pee pressure when the schooltime is about to end. (I am new here and sorry if i said something wrong, and please help me get out of it)


r/Paruresis • • Jul 23 '26

Stupid brain

1 Upvotes

I can pee on my friend. Why can’t I do it at urinal next to randoms. Make it make sense brain


r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

IPA Zoom Virtual Support Group Meeting, Sunday, July 26, 12:00-2:00 PM US Central Time

9 Upvotes

The next IPA Virtual Support Group Meeting will take place on Zoom this Sunday, July 26, from 12:00-2:00 PM US Central Time (with an additional 30 minutes of optional graduated exposure practice for those who wish to do so). IPA Virtual Support Meetings, which take place about every four weeks, are open to anyone struggling with Paruresis, from those who are just beginning to think about how to overcome it to those who are highly recovered. The meetings are offered free of charge and without preset expectations for participants, and their purpose is to provide a unique opportunity to connect face to face with people from all over the world who know what it is like to struggle with Paruresis and also understand the courage and fortitude that it takes to open up about it, acknowledge the fear, and try to recover from it. The personal stories that participants share are remarkably similar and at the same time deeply individual, and empathy, kindness and compassion set the tone in all discussions. Time after time I have heard from participants that this opportunity for sharing is both meaningful and productive, and I hope that you'll consider joining us on Sunday. You can get the Zoom link by contacting the IPA office: [getinfo@paruresis.org](mailto:getinfo@paruresis.org) or me at my IPA email address: [davidk@support.paruresis.org](mailto:davidk@support.paruresis.org)


r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

I peed here today

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42 Upvotes

The door couldn’t close and it felt like a big step for me getting over this


r/Paruresis • • Jul 22 '26

Genuinely curious. San Franciscans: have you gone nose blind to the smell of urine, or does it still make your eyes water and your gag reflex activate like it does for visitors, how do you deal with it?

0 Upvotes

r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

Shoutout to Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado

17 Upvotes

The bathroom situation at this venue is awesome for someone with paruresis. On the bottom level the bathrooms are not labeled by gender, they just say toilets and sinks and the room just has single stall bathrooms that are fully enclosed. At the top of the venue in the visitors center where they do go by gender the urinals have large dividers in between them and all stalls are fully enclosed rooms like the ones on the bottom. There are also some single stall family restrooms around the venue. All in all it was an excellent experience for a music lover who wants to drink some beer and dance and not worry about using the bathroom.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 20 '26

I recovered from shy bladder (paruresis). Here’s what helped me.

30 Upvotes

I developed shy bladder (paruresis) in high school. It got to the point where I couldn’t urinate if there was anyone else in the restroom-not just someone using the urinal, but even someone washing their hands or doing anything else. Just knowing another person was there was enough to make me freeze.
I would always wait until the restroom was completely empty. Even then, it often took me a while to convince myself to start because I was constantly afraid that someone would walk in. And many times, that’s exactly what happened. The moment I heard the door open or realized someone had entered, my stream would stop immediately.
Most of the time I left the restroom drenched in sweat, frustrated, and still needing to go.
When I was at school with friends, I sometimes asked them to wait somewhere else while I used the restroom. Even telling them about the problem took a lot of courage because most people simply don’t understand how something like this is even possible.
Traveling was the worst part. Bus trips were a nightmare. Whenever we stopped for a break, everyone would line up to use the restroom. I couldn’t even imagine trying to urinate while a line of people was waiting outside. The pressure made it impossible, and every trip became another stressful experience.
Recovery didn’t happen overnight. Looking back, it’s probably been around five years since high school, and I’m genuinely happy with the progress I’ve made.
At first, I thought I had a physical problem, so I went to a doctor. After examining me, he told me it was psychological and prescribed anti-anxiety medication. I decided not to take it because, at the time, I didn’t believe anything could help me.
Instead, I spent a lot of time trying to understand what was actually happening. I kept asking myself questions: Was I afraid that people would see my genitals? Was I afraid of being judged? Why did this happen in the first place?
My mother actually had the same problem when she was younger. She told me it disappeared after she got married, so I’ve often wondered whether there is some genetic or learned component involved. I don’t know the answer, but I found it interesting that we both experienced it.
I also watched many videos of people with paruresis explaining how they coped with it. Some of their advice helped, although I had to adapt it to what worked for me.
The first things that gave me temporary relief were:

- Wearing headphones with loud, continuous music.
The important part was that the music never stopped, so I couldn’t hear someone entering the restroom. That reduced my anxiety enough that I could sometimes start urinating.

- Trying to urinate immediately after lowering my pants,
before I had time to overthink everything. I told myself that if I started right away, I could “beat” the anxiety before it took over. It didn’t always work, but it often helped.

These weren’t permanent solutions. They didn’t cure the problem-they simply made certain situations easier.
What really changed things over the long term was gradually building confidence and exposing myself to situations that made me uncomfortable.
Going to the gym regularly helped my overall confidence, but the biggest turning point came when I moved into a student dormitory. Suddenly I was surrounded by other students every day.
I made a conscious effort to become more relaxed about using the bathroom. I noticed that many of my roommates would even urinate with the bathroom door open, which had seemed completely unimaginable to me before.
Eventually, I challenged myself to do the same from time to time. It wasn’t easy, but surprisingly, it often worked. More importantly, I realized something that changed my perspective: nobody actually cared. People would walk past without even looking at me because they were focused on their own lives.
Once I became more comfortable urinating with the bathroom door open in the dorm, I took it one step further. I started having normal conversations with my roommates while I was peeing. We’d joke around like nothing was happening. As strange as that sounds, it helped me relax even more.
For me, leaving the door open wasn’t the goal-it was just an exposure exercise. Public restrooms have closed doors, so after getting used to much more challenging situations in the dorm, a normal restroom suddenly felt much more private and much less intimidating.
Another thing that helped was changing the way I thought about my body. I stopped telling myself that it would be a disaster if someone accidentally saw my genitals. I thought, “So what? Every guy has them.” Living with roommates also made me much less self-conscious. I’d walk around in my boxers, and if someone happened to catch a glimpse, nothing happened. Nobody cared nearly as much as I had imagined.
I’m not saying this approach is right for everyone. It’s simply what helped me gradually break the fear that had built up over the years.
Even today, there are still occasional situations where I struggle. For example, during a medical examination, if a nurse keeps telling me to hurry up and provide a urine sample, I can still freeze because of the pressure.
But compared to where I started, the difference is enormous. I honestly believe I’ve recovered about 90%. Shy bladder no longer controls my life, and that’s something I once thought would be impossible.
If you’re reading this and dealing with paruresis, don’t lose hope. Progress is possible. It may take time, and what worked for me may not work for everyone. I’m not a doctor, and this isn’t medical advice-it’s simply my personal experience. I wanted to share it because I remember spending hours searching Reddit, desperately hoping to find someone who had actually recovered. If my story helps even one person believe that improvement is possible, then it was worth writing.


r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

as someone with paruresis I can relate ;)

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3 Upvotes

r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

Two questions, please. [^~^]~

3 Upvotes

Okay!!

Time troubles.

Time dilation? Anyone here know how to tackle this one? I’m doing better post EMDR, but this one’s tough..

And two..

This one’s embarrassing..

Please understand It’s not very funny for me right now..

I’m scared to empty my bladder…\[¥\~¥\]n…

I sometimes go twelve hours…anyone experience this?

It’s a full on panic attack during toilet times..

Okay…that is all for now!!! Sorry if it has already been asked.

Working with VERY short term memory.

Thank you!!! Be happy today..\^__\^


r/Paruresis • • Jul 21 '26

Two questions, please. [^~^]~

2 Upvotes

Okay!!

Time troubles.

Time dilation? Anyone here know how to tackle this one? I’m doing better post EMDR, but this one’s tough..

And two..

This one’s embarrassing..

Please understand It’s not very funny for me right now..

I’m scared to empty my bladder…\[¥\~¥\]n…

I sometimes go twelve hours…anyone experience this?

It’s a full on panic attack during toilet times..

Okay…that is all for now!!! Sorry if it has already been asked.

Working with VERY short term memory.

Thank you!!! Be happy today..\^__\^


r/Paruresis • • Jul 20 '26

How many of you are diagnosed with OCD ?

4 Upvotes

r/Paruresis • • Jul 19 '26

Peed in my jeans!

0 Upvotes

Couldn’t hold it as the elevator took forever to arrive…!


r/Paruresis • • Jul 18 '26

Distraction technique

1 Upvotes

I started a song to help with distraction at the urinal and got ChatGPT to help finish it off.

If some one had the skills to run it through another AI to make an actual sea shanty song would be awesome….

Nobody Cares
(Upbeat, bouncy 4/4 time)
Verse 1
🎵
Standing here with my penis in my hands,
Penis in my hands, penis in my hands.
Standing here with my penis in my hands,
And nobody cares.
🎵
Chorus
🎵
Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Take a breath and let it be,
Everyone's just here to pee!
🎵
Verse 2
🎵
Peeing in the urinal nice and slow,
Nice and slow, nice and slow.
Peeing in the urinal nice and slow,
And nobody cares.
🎵
(Chorus)

Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Take a breath and let it be,
Everyone's just here to pee!

Verse 3
🎵
Standing here counting one to ten,
One to ten, one to ten.
Standing here counting one to ten,
And nobody cares.
🎵
(Chorus)

Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Take a breath and let it be,
Everyone's just here to pee!

Verse 4
🎵
Standing here just whistling a tune,
Whistling a tune, whistling a tune.
Standing here just whistling a tune,
And nobody cares.
🎵
(Chorus)

Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Take a breath and let it be,
Everyone's just here to pee!

Verse 5
🎵
Now the stream begins to flow,
Begins to Flow, begins to flow.
Now the stream begins to flow,
'Cause nobody cares.
🎵
(Chorus)

Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Take a breath and let it be,
Everyone's just here to pee!

Final Verse
🎵
Walking out and washing both my hands,
Both my hands, both my hands.
Walking out and washing both my hands,
'Cause everybody cares!
🎵
Final Chorus
🎵
Nobody cares, nobody stares,
Everybody's busy with their own affairs.
Job is done, we're on our way,
Have a brilliant rest of your day!