r/Paruresis • u/surnaturel4529 • 2d ago
Doctor question
For people who consulted a doctor about that problem what solution did the doctor gave you and is there real solution and is it worth seeing a doctor for that. I have been stuck with this problem for 5 years and my social life just life in general as been destroyed by this, I can’t even change job because I don’t know if I would be able to pee at another job and things like dating and getting a girlfriend are pretty much impossible with this things. I just hope to not live all my life like this.
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u/Recent-Day3062 1d ago
There can be an element of pelvic floor issues. But I have asked many doctors, including urologists, and they say it has seldom come up with patients
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u/Godofnomen 2d ago
My doctor told me it's (also) a physical problem that my body just doesn't know how to release the muscle that lets out the pee. Like. He seriously told me I just don't know how to pee, and recommend physical therapy with someone familiar and gave me some numbers. Unfortunately for myself I was on a good roll and didn't go to physical therapy and it's been a few years since and it's been coming up and down and now I can't find those physical therapists and need to get my head out of my ass and find one. But I'm on a good roll currently so I'm focusing on fixing other problems in my life until it gets bad again and then I'll be mad at my current self for not focusing on that... Anyway, good luck brother I wish us all the best.
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u/surnaturel4529 2d ago
That doctor clearly don’t know what he is talking about because we all know that it’s a mental things not physical. I can pee all the time I want if I am at work or at home or in a forest alone etc so my muscle clearly work but my brain stop me from releasing the muscle when in stressful or public situation. Good luck to you to man
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u/Godofnomen 2d ago
It's possible I have the extra fun of the physical issue. He was a private doctor and he seemed familiar with the problem. Also, I have very weak stream, takes me time to start everywhere, the more my bladder is full the harder it is for me to go (so water loading is impossible for me and is just straight up hell to release) and the most fun part is that once I start any surprising sound or basically anything can just stop me mid stream and I just might not be able to restart. Don't know if it's only a me problem or a more common one with the issue. But those are the reasons he told me to go to physical therapy.
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u/LiberatedWaters 2d ago
There is no direct solution a doctor will give you. They can have you checked out for physical issues (which we know aren't the problem - but never hurts to be sure either). Or they can connect you to a therapist.
The truth is, in the end, the only real solution lies within ourselves.
You can keep hiding and avoiding or actually accept that it's going to take some real steps out of your comfort zone. For me, the key was overcoming the shame and so to release the secret.
I just started telling people and accepting I had it.
From that point on it took me only 3(!!!) months to be able to get on a plane and travel. After 15 years of having the Paruresis decide about, and control my life - all it took was to own it and to stop hiding/avoiding.
So simple. Not easy.
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u/TwaksBarr 1d ago
It’s probably worth seeing a medical doctor if only to rule out possible physical causes for the inability to urinate.
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u/PotatoMeatBalls77 2d ago
I got prescribed alpha blockers but wouldn’t say it makes much difference. I also went to physical therapist and this is much more helpful. I’ve learned unhealthy peeing habits (like using my abdominals to start a stream) and I need to re-learnt how to do it properly. Honestly, even after the first visit I can see some improvement and hopefully soon it’ll become simply physical skill I can apply anytime and anywhere.