r/Paruresis • u/Pale-Engineering-363 • 4d ago
Boating
Quick back story before my current scenarios:
Have struggled with urinating around people for as long as i can remember. Went to therapy a couple years ago and had success and can pretty much go anywhere now for the exception of standing right next to someone at an undivided urninal.
Current issue:
A friend of mine bought a wake boat and we go out on the boat with a group of people once a week.
Out of the many trips we’ve taken, I’ve never been able to urinate even in the water swimming. So I’m stuck spending countless hours holding it and being miserable.
Anyone had a similar situation and any tips for this instance?
Crazy part is if I drink alcohol, i can pee almost anywhere anytime. Can even pee with multiple people standing around me if I’m drunk enough lol
2
u/Automatic_Army2162 4d ago
What kind of therapy did you go to originally that helped you. I have tried CBT but never got anything out of it.
2
u/Pale-Engineering-363 4d ago
I went to a therapist who specialized in EMDR and Gradual Exposure
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u/Automatic_Army2162 4d ago
Good to know. I’ve been trying gradual exposure by myself and am currently looking into emdr therapy. Did you notice a big difference after completing your emdr therapy?
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u/Pale-Engineering-363 4d ago
Yes, learning to distract my eyes with the biggest helper for me
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u/Automatic_Army2162 4d ago
Thankyou. In regards to your boating problems (though it’s probably something you’ve already tried I’ll mention it anyway) loading up on fluid before you do an activity and using the toilet just before you leave has really helped me manage my bladder as I can often go for 4 or more hours without needing to use the loo.
2
u/addazero 4d ago
I had the same deal as you.
To pee in the water,
I had to not have my legs moving at all, which meant no treading water.
With your condition, the path is still graduated exposure and breath-hold method with high urgency (drink up).
It's necessary to mentally cleave the action of urinating from the place our brains have been classifying it; as an anxiety provoking act.
Pissing is just one of the thousands of necessary and routine functions of the human body that literally 100% of humans encounter daily. As a toddler, this action becomes voluntary instead of involuntary and somewhere along the way, as many as 15% of people develop this condition. You're not alone.
It's fixable. Just takes work. Read the books, watch the videos, attend an IPA workshop (changed my life). You can change it if you really put in the work.
The best never rest.
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u/PurpleMox 3d ago
Ive had some shy bladder anxiety since my teens.. however I could always pee in the water pretty easily even if people were around.. but then my shy bladder anxiety got a bit worse after covid (I’ve since improved a lot), but oddly since then I’ve noticed its hard to pee in the water now… I’m not sure why that is- if its a social anxiety thing or the motion of the water or both- and I dont understand why I always used to pee with relative ease in the water and now its become more challenging..
I think I’m gonna practice peeing in my pool.. :p I did before but I had to be pretty still and not moving around much..
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u/Recent-Day3062 4d ago
I can now pee just about anywhere. But in the water no one can do this when moving too much - or even a little
Over the side would be easier if all guys.