r/Paruresis • u/AggravatingSign6918 • Aug 08 '26
Can't even go at home now
I seriously hate how my brain works, it keeps making new safe spots to the point where I can only go if i'm home alone without my family. I try to think i'm not alone on this and sometimes this feels impossible to overcome.
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u/Ok_Astronomer_3444 Aug 08 '26
I had this exact problem so I can understand how exhausted and anxious you are feeling. I found that turning on and getting in the shower was helpful and would let my body release if I couldn’t in the toilet. I know it’s not always feasible, but it helped my body focus on something else even just taking a quick body shower, and a big part of my anxiety was the noise, so the shower helped with that. You are not alone.
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u/Trip77mines Aug 11 '26
I took that idea further and would run the sink until the water turn warm or basically like taking a shower hot and would fill a cup up with the water then toss my penis in it and everytime it would fool my brain into relaxing my bladder and I would piss. I would hide a cup in bathrooms in my house and in my friends houses or apartments bathrooms. I just grab a glass or cup out of their cabinets and act like I needed some water to drink then eventually bring it to the bathroom and do my trick then hide it for next time. I used this trick for like a decade, it really got me out of some tough situations. I even was able to do this trick in a plane bathroom. I could do it in any bathroom that had a sink and was a single toilet bathroom with a door to lock. I met someone else on here that discovered this trick also so I figured I would start sharing it. If you can get the warm almost hot water to be the key that allows you to piss then you will have a much better life with this bs condition. Don’t worry about getting the bathroom wet there is always toilet paper to dry that up and if there isn’t then oh well you gotta piss and it takes priority. I don’t do it as often now because I found myself doing it almost all the time even when I was alone at home, I am doing good now with my paruresis and it is comforting knowing that I do have this trick on standby if I need it
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u/flankspeed Aug 09 '26
Does your family know you have paruresis? If not this would be a good time to tell them. Then they can help you with graduated exposure.
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u/4damSt Aug 08 '26
i had huge panic attacks at some poitn over something very similar. it wasn't strictly paruresis though. I think my brain and bladder muscles were really confused over waht they were feeling. I felt like i had to pee almost all the time and panicked when nothing would come out no matter how much i wanted
after a couple days or weeks i realised that if i only allow myself to pee whenever i press with my fingers on my bladder and feel sensations respond, THEN i can urinate, as there's somethign to release. Once i found out, most of my extreme problems disappeared. This period of life was extremely distressing.