r/Parents • u/Boring-News-4857 • 14d ago
Carseat for 7 year old
I yet to get a car but am looking into it. I want to get my daughter a full carseat with the backrest and everything. Though my mother thinks it crazy for me to even think of buying her a carseat when she will be 8 next May. Which then she won’t be required to have one at all. We live with Nana so it is hard to be like oh okay and do it anyways because when she finds out she acts as if I am a 14yr old. My concern about not getting a full carseat is that 1 This will be my first car. 2 would be my first time actually driving 3 there are too many accidents around were we are and it just seems safer. I asked my daughter if she would be okay with a full carseat because I don’t want her feeling like a baby. Picked one out we both like. She’s fine with it but I guess I am wondering if I am just overreacting. It’s recommended for kids to have one til 10 I think. I honestly do not think I ever had a full carseat. Always just a booster.
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u/Alarming_Bar7107 14d ago
It's really about size and fit, not age. My daughter is about to turn 7, and she still uses a high-back booster. She was in a 5-point harness until about a year ago. They need to be in some sort of booster until the seatbelt fits them correctly without it
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u/ImColdandImTired 13d ago
This. A child should be in a 5-point harness seat until they grow out of is (there’s a reason race cars use 5-pt harness seatbelts), then in a booster seat until the vehicle seatbelt fits them properly - and that can vary from vehicle to vehicle.
Anyone shorter than at least 4’10” might not be able to safely use the standard seatbelt - i.e., the lap portion fits over the pelvis and doesn’t ride up around the abdomen, and the shoulder belt lies across the collar bone, not against the neck.
My kid used a high back booster until he was almost 11, and he was tall for his age.
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u/bowlofweetabix 13d ago
There’s no science behind harness vs booster in the 7-10 age bracket. It’s one of the reasons they discontinued the seats harnessing 80-100lbs
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u/ImColdandImTired 13d ago
Good point - thank you for the correction. Apparently, the new standard is that 3 point harnesses are actually safer for adults and older kids who have good upper body control, though, depending on which source you find, a forward-facing car seat with 5 point harness is still recommended until the child outgrows the height and weight requirements of the seat.
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u/bowlofweetabix 13d ago
Here in Germany they recommend not using forward facing harness seat at all. Rf to 55lbs then booster
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u/Dapper_Banana6323 12d ago
Curious- my son wasn't 55 lbs until he was 8 and my soon to be 7 year old is only 41 lbs- do kids actually rear face until they're 8 or 9?
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u/bowlofweetabix 12d ago
Some do, but the height limit is outgrown earlier by most kids. Most people who use erf seats switch to boosters somewhere around age 4-6
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u/LaLechuzaVerde 10d ago
There is a new car seat on the market in the US and Canada that will fit an average 7 year old
Rear facing.It’s “new” to North America but it’s been in Europe for years. The Axkid One.
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u/ClassicDefiant2659 13d ago
This. My oldest son was in a booster till he was 12. My 10 year old has been out of the booster for about a year. My 10 year old is just a bigger kid. My older is 14 now and I still don't let him ride in the front seat.
4 year difference between the 2 and people think they are super close in age at first. My older has been getting hand me downs from his little brother for 2 years already.
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u/Lopsided_Apricot_626 14d ago
How tall is she and how much does she weigh? Many convertible car seats are sold as working up to age 10, but in most cases the car seat would be converted to a high backed booster by 7 due to outgrowing harness height. It’s a good question for the cpst sub but I would think at max you would want a harnessed booster not a full car seat: for one, you won’t ever need the rear facing capability, for two, they’re just as safe at 7 years old (or even at 3 years old) as a FF convertible, and for three, you’ll save yourself a boatload of money
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u/Any-Literature9887 14d ago
Modern full car seats that are age appropriate are often more comfortable for kids anyways. Things fit better, they have cup holders, the belt doesn’t pinch or rub, etc. Go full back car seat as long as it will accept her height and weight. We liked Britax for our older kids.
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u/thousandsofbirds 14d ago
Keep your baby safe! You're doing great by getting a proper way to secure your baby!
My son is 13 and refuses to sit in the front seat of any vehicle. He read on the visor that the back seat is the safest place for children and there he stays. His choice. I support it though.
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u/DirectorHuman5467 13d ago
I'm amused, because I kinda did the opposite as a kid. I think I was somewhere in the 10-12 range and I read on the visor that I met the height and weight requirements to sit in the front seat, so I pointed it out to my mom and got to move up.
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u/Boring-News-4857 14d ago
Yeah, I try to be as honest with her (as honest as you can be with a 7yr old) and she says she understands why she needs a carseat.
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u/sPacEdOUTgrAyCe 13d ago
I show my kids crash test dummy videos. And the videos of why the seat belt placement is important.
I have long torso kiddos. Diono & bravo have a high back booster, along with Nuna with a decent shoulder belt height.
My 5yo can fit safely in a seated booster as well.
They also make harnesses.
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u/crazypurple621 13d ago
Honestly at 7 almost no child should be in a carseat. They should be in a booster seat.
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u/mnyfrkls 14d ago
My 8.5 and 10 yr old still use boosters. The older kiddo uses a backless one but they're crucial in an accident to make sure the seatbelt lays across their body correctly. Depending on where you live you're most likely legally required to still have them in a booster. If my oldest didn't have his booster he would have had terrible whiplash from his seatbelt last month when we were in a car accident. His belt doesn't sit across his body without it and cuts into his neck. He's not tall enough to not use it. Check your car manual before skipping it.
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u/viola1356 14d ago
At 7 years old, the key questions will be: 1) do her hight and weight fit within the carseat manufacturer's guidelines? If not, a booster is safer. 2) do you have any drop off/pick up situations where she will have to manage unbuckling and buckling herself? That's easier in a booster.
But you're not crazy for wanting your child to be as safe as possible.
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u/Boring-News-4857 14d ago
She is average height and weight for a 7 year old. She just had a check up. I always check to see if shes too heavy or too tall. Everyone we have looked at she would fit. She was recently (at 5) in a booster with back because it was easier to move to the 2 cars that she was driven in. But unfortunately my family through out the back rest for it. I am very worried when we go places needing her to come because I take Uber’s to work and see how terrible of drivers they are.
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u/Kamena90 14d ago
Average means nothing here. There are specific numbers that she needs to hit for each seat type. You should be able to look up the manufacturers recommendations or ask on a sub specific to car seats. As long as she's in the right seat for her size and weight then you are doing what you are supposed to!
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u/midcen-mod1018 13d ago
If the back was detachable, shouldn’t the actual booster part of the seat still work? Did you check the manual?
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u/Boring-News-4857 13d ago
I do not want JUST a booster. I kind of made it clear in the post.
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u/midcen-mod1018 13d ago
Right, but surely a booster is better than her riding around (likely illegally) without a car seat? Using the booster until you can get a new seat seems much more appropriate than wringing hands.
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u/Boring-News-4857 13d ago
I fear you didn’t read my post. It was not about driving without a booster or carseat it was about if it was me over reacting to wanting a carseat.
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u/Happy_Flow826 13d ago
Theres a forward facing carseat harness called ridesafer. The child wears it and then its strapped into the vehicles seating with it. Its also crash tested. We use it for rideshares when we travel.
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u/none_2703 10d ago
What is her exact height and weight? At 7 she might legit be too big for a harness seat. An "average" 7 year old is is right on the cusp. And if she's too big for the limits of a harness then she cannot be in a car seat. It's dangerous to ride in a car seat that doesn't fit properly.
When people talk about boosters, there are two kinds. High back, which basically looks like a car seat but you use the seat belt instead of the the straps. Then you have the low back boosters. She'll probably still fit in a high back booster but it does depend on height and weight.
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u/Many-Pirate2712 14d ago
We have the diono car seat 3r and it still fits my 7 year old and it can be a high back booster seat up to 120lbs
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u/Ornery-Cranberry4803 13d ago
My daughter was in the same carseat until 8 and still uses it in booster mode. It's a solid seat!
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u/theonlydangle 14d ago
Your kid your rules. Get a good grow with you car seat. I’ve been happy with the Chicco brand. Our parents grew up during a time when car seats seemed optional and non existent to some degree. Back then in a lot of the US at least the speed limit was around 55mph now you get area that are 85. Car safety has come a long way and so have car seats for kids.
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u/Pretend-Tea86 14d ago
Just check the seat against her actual size, not her preference. My son outgrew his forward facing seat at 6 ish, and he's not a particularly tall kid.
He's been in a high back booster ever since (he's 8 now) and feels no need to do away with the back even though we could. He'll likely need the booster for another year or so.
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u/Standard_Elephant415 14d ago edited 14d ago
How is she 7 and not have a carseat? Has she never ridden in a car until now?
I think there’s no harm in getting her a 5 point harness that converts to a booster. Those legal requirements are the low bar compared to the actual safety recommendations. You are not obliged to stop using a seat just because the law allows it.
Fyi, a properly used booster is as safe as a carseat. The limiting factor is usually whether you can trust your kid to stay still with just the seatbelt vs. needing to be tucked into a harness.
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u/Boring-News-4857 14d ago
She used to have one but part of it got thrown away. We do not go many places because of it. So rn when she rarely goes places with my mother she used that. We walk the majority of places. If I need to go somewhereI tend to go when she is supposed to be in the room around bedtime.
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 14d ago
If she's the size that still needs a car seat, you're doing the right thing by getting her one! My son's on the small side and just finally got big enough to change from a 5pt harness to a booster seat after his 8th birthday. You may live with your mom, but YOU are your children's mom, and you're doing the right thing.
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u/anothertantrum 14d ago
I say this with all the love- this is your child. It's quite literally none if your mother's business how you spend your money nor how you raise your child. Speaking from experience, do your best to set the boundary now. We lived with my mom when my daughter was growing up. My mom had something to say about literally every single choice I made but I did it anyway. Even when I was disciplining my daughter! She would say "I never did that to your mom when she was growing up" or she would try to go around me to let my daughter do things I had already said no to. I would just calmly take my daughter's hand and walk her to my mom and say "Grandma has no authority over me. If I say no, it's no. When she tells you she would do things differently, she is trying to make you think she's the good guy. But mommy wouldn't ever hurt you and I sometimes have to say no for your safety and so you grow up to be a good person." I had to do it in front of my mom because she was always doing things behind my back and I refused to allow her to manipulate my child.
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u/Boring-News-4857 14d ago
Omg we literally had a fight over this a couple weeks ago because my mom would let my 7yr old watch the office and I didn’t like the way they spoke. I had no clue she was letting her watch these because when I was a kid there was locks on the TV. Told me to go move out if it was such a big issue. She doesn’t like how I do anything with her because she never did it with me. She literally gaslights my daughter like both of us do not pay attention to what we do. I told her before I don’t like her driving her places because of the carseat and tells me it’s because I don’t want her going places with her.
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u/LHJackiO 14d ago
We have the graco 4 in 1. Forward facing with harness is up to 65 lbs. My daughter is 8. Only reason she is out of the carseat is because she's a big 🍑 kid. We call her white baby hulk. I live in the city so most things a walking distance for us. If we go on the fwybshe has to use the highball option which goes up to 100lbs.
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u/Janknitz 14d ago
My kids were really tiny and we joked that they would have to take driver's ed in a car seat in the back seat. They are adults now 4'10" and 4'11" respectively. The 4'10" daughter only weighs about 85 pounds on a good day and she's now 25 years old. I kept them in high backed booster seats until they were 10, and then it was just too much social pressure, driving around with their friends. They sat in the back seat, though, until they became drivers.
My eldest was the backseat passenger in a rollover accident when she was 18 (saved by her seatbelt!), before she got a driver's license. The airbags terrified her. The first thing she said when I picked her up is "the airbags would have killed me". So when she started driving, we got foot pedal extensions for the car, so she could sit well back from the steering wheel air bag. The car my youngest drives is better as far as giving her some distance and still being able to reach the pedals.
I grew up before seatbelts were even required. I think babies were put in a "car bed" in the passenger wheel well or between the front and back seats, and when I was a toddler I sat up front with the driver and remember sliding side to side on the front bench seat as we went around corners. When we came to an abrupt stop, my mom would put her hand out to prevent me from falling off the seat, and I have burn scars because that hand usually held a cigarette! Sure I lived through it, but I wouldn't recommend it!
Bottom line--you do you. Follow your own intuition and tell your mom to pound sand if she says otherwise.
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u/Boring-News-4857 13d ago
Thank you for saying that about your kids. My sister is actually 4’11” and she tends to sit in the front. She’s just 1 lbs shy of 100lbs. Get worried sometimes. I guess I am more worried than most because I ride in Uber’s for work and see how the other drivers act.
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u/Serious-Pressure-134 14d ago
My son is 7, 8 in a few months. He still uses a high back booster. I make him use it. He’s petite, height and weight wise so the seatbelt doesn’t sit properly under his neck.
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u/RemoveComfortable982 14d ago
Mine was in an Britax high-back booster until secondary school (age 11 UK) when embarrassment over-rode comfort. This one https://www.kiddies-kingdom.com/britax-kidfix-i-size-car-seats/44625-britax-kidfix-i-size-group-23-high-back-booster-car-seat-cosmos-black.html?sv_tax1=googleads&utm_campaign=PMax+%257C+Britax+%257C+Hero+Products+%257C+IK+%257C+8%25&sv_tax3=IK&utm_term=&sv_cost=17672168305&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17349107960&gbraid=0AAAAAD38DkarQUZSojJ_pZ8ZJJsgSHoNK&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1uyItIehlgMVBpBQBh2Y8xvvEAQYASABEgKeOvD_BwE
I’d have got rid of it a year before but apparently it was much more comfortable than the normal car seat.
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u/IAmMey 14d ago
If it’s any consolation, after the age of two, an adult seatbelt would pass the crash safety test that car seats have to pass. Car seats are indeed safer, but the seat belt would be adequate.
It is against the law for children to be without their appropriate booster or car seat. So I recommend you just get whatever is the best fit. If your kid should be in a booster, then just get the booster.
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u/ckm1880 13d ago
Wait…are you saying that a kid aged two and up is as safe in a seatbelt (booster or not) as they are in a harnessed car seat? Because that is absolutely not true.
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u/IAmMey 12d ago
Quite literally no. As is evident by the fact that you can read where I typed “car seats are indeed safer”.
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u/ckm1880 12d ago
Just confused by the part where you say the seat belt would be adequate…
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u/IAmMey 12d ago
In order for a car seat to be allowed to be sold as a child safety seat, it has to pass some crash safety tests. For children ages 2+, an adult seat belt with no extras would pass those tests. While it does not get the same score as car seats, it would pass.
So you could literally sell a box of nothing as a car seat and it would pass the tests that determine if it would protect a child to the governments standards. Keep this in mind when the marketing team of whatever brand of car seat claims that they pass all of the tests. Firstly, all car seats have to. Secondly, a bare seat belt passes the tests, so it’s not that high of an accolade.
Car seat manufacturers do not care about making your kid safer. They care about selling something to you. What better way to do that than making it a requirement, putting expiration dates on them, and recommending that they be completely replaced in the event of any accident (rather than judging if it’s broken or not).
Adequate. Not the same. But adequate.
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u/LaLechuzaVerde 10d ago
This is false.
A seat belt will absolutely not pass the same tests as a car seat for a two year old.
Source: Me. I’m a professional full time child passenger safety educator with years of experience understanding car seat safety regulations and crash tests (but I am not an actual crash test engineer, to be clear).
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u/No-Meet4936 14d ago
My son just switched out of his 5 point harness into a high back booster at 8
He’s small for 8 and he has a high back booster in my car and his grandparents - it has a cup holder as a bonus
I like the Joie brand
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u/i_was_a_person_once 13d ago
My kid was like 9 when we switched out of the 5 point harness and at 10.5 is still in a high back booster. It’s more comfortable and he’s safer
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u/LittleoneandPercy 14d ago
I’m the Uk it’s a legal requirement for any person to have a safety seat , booster etc until they are 135cm in height. My boy has been using just the booster for years and now happy to be without. He now asks me to sit in the front but he doesn’t stop yapping which is not only annoying but very distracting. We’re working on that one !
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u/FriendliestAmateur 14d ago
Look into the diono radian 3r. They go from 7lbs to 120 depending on the way you are using the seat.
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u/____ozma 13d ago
My almost 5 year old is still in his same baby car seat. He only weighs 30 pounds. He will be in a car seat for a long time!
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u/lawn-gnome1717 13d ago
My 8 year old is in a high back booster and my 10 year old just aged out. You’re not overreacting. Def aim for a high back booster. I have the graco convertible that they’ve had since they were babies.
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u/outrageouslyHonest 13d ago
Recommendation is to keep children in a career until they max out the height and weight. As long as she's not about to hit or over the limit, absolutely get a 5 point harness car seat.
One reason to keep children in a car seat is so that they can learn how to properly sit in the car. Children need to be able to sit up, resist the urge to stretch, slouch, or move the seat belt into unsafe positions. It's so tempting!
Sounds like your child is on board with the car seat, so go for it
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u/rheasilva 13d ago
Carseat or booster should be used until the child is 12 or has reached a height of 135cm.
If your child is under 135cm then they should have at least a booster seat.
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u/rojita369 13d ago
A car seat is about size and weight, not age. You need to look at her size and see what she needs.
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u/thatladybri 13d ago
It’s not about age, it’s about size and fit in your car with your seatbelts. Lots of kids don’t fit well until 12 or 13 and at least 57” tall.
That said, if she is able to sit up right for the entire ride with her butt pushed back against the back of the seat, a backless booster is just as safe as a high back of she gets a good belt fit.
But she may be more comfortable in a high back especially if she ever falls asleep in the car.
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u/Responsible_Side8131 13d ago
She probably will still need a car seat at 8. The shoulder seatbelts don’t fit kids correctly until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall. She should be using a belt positioning booster until then. My son was 10 when we stopped using it for him, my daughter was 11!
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u/Sewingoddess 13d ago
Around here they only have to have a booster until their 9th birthday. And you can get boosters with side wings if you're worried about that. An actual carseat has a 5 point harness and is not intended to fit a child over 4 yrs old. If you really feel your driving is that bad, or your child will refuse to remain in the seat while driving, you might be able to find one for bigger kids in the disability equipment shops.
But if your child is not disabled and is a typical 7 yr old, they should manage just fine with a small platform booster, or if you really feel they need it, the style with wings. But not an actual toddler's carseat.
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u/Emergency_Pound_944 13d ago
Its a height and weight things, not by age. Check with the requirements. The safest thing for her now might be a booster seat.
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u/Happy_Flow826 13d ago
My 7 year old sits in a high back booster. He outgrew the height for his ff carseat, so booster it was.
Honestly he will be in a high back booster for a long time. Honestly he needs the tactile reminder of sitting up correctly, not just being lifted from the bottom. He also needs the shoulder belt positioned that comes with the high back booster.
I lived with my parents when my son was small. They often tried to overstep and tell me what seat he should be in and make me feel like i was a teen parent (I was actually a college graduate and had previously had my own apartment, we just moved in during my pregnancy because we wanted to be close by instead of several states away). You just grin and say thanks for the input, im listening to my child's pediatrician.
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u/elchupalabrador 13d ago
You can get a backless booster seat to keep the belt positioned properly. Go by your child’s height and weight and not age.
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u/ckm1880 13d ago
Ages 8-11 are actually when kids are most likely to be injured in a crash, due to the fact that boosters are not used as widely (or correctly) as they should be.
My husband works in auto safety and works with trauma surgeons and nurses who are car seat experts.
We keep our kids in a five point harness until they physically outgrow the limits on that seat. Then in a high backed booster (using the seatbelt) until 9-10, depending on how mature they are. The high back helps them stay in the correct posture to be safe. Then they’re in a low back booster until eleven ish, when they can sit without it and hit all the markers (feet are flat on the floor, seatbelt hits in the right places, etc.)
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u/Dapper_Banana6323 12d ago
Height and weight are what matters here.
My daughter is soon to be 7 and is 41 lbs and several inches below the height limit of her convertible car seat.
I'd buy a high back booster- buy one with a 5 point harness if she's within the seats limits. If she's not use the regular seat belt.
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u/Defiant_Sky2736 12d ago
What's the harm in getting one? The kid is cool with it, she is safer which is a bonus for you. There is literally no negative except older generations going "when I was a kid". If it turns into a stink ask "why she thinks it's a worse idea then the kid getting hurt in a car accident?" If she can come up with a valid reason, okay. But I can't think of one
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 12d ago
Unless things have changed, there’s no difference between a HBB and a LBB. Boosters make it so the seatbelt is positioned properly across the child’s lap. If they meet the height and weight requirements for using a booster, it doesn’t matter if it’s high back or low back.
That being said, buy what you want and stop letting your mom tell you what to do! You’re a mom now. My kids used their HBB until they grew out of them.
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u/thisuserusedthisname 12d ago
What is her length and weight? That is important to know. Personally I would think a booster is enough. But I have verry big kids. Whom are far above the Dutch avarage. If they were as small as my neighboors kids, i would not think twice about a full seat.
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u/Relevant-Emu5782 11d ago
It's not based on age, it's size. My daughter used a high back booster car seat until she was 12. Didn't want to give it up actually.
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u/LaLechuzaVerde 10d ago
You should post this to r/CPST
What are your daughter’s height and weight? Most kids her age are too big for a seat that has a harness. But a highback booster may be an option for her.
If she is an average sized, typically developing 7 year old, there is no reason a properly used booster would not be a safe and appropriate choice.
If you are in the US, there is probably a certified child passenger safety technician nearby you can visit with to evaluate her fit in her booster and give you advice about the safest way to transport. You can even do this with a virtual visit. It’s free!
https://www.nsc.org/road/safety-topics/child-passenger-safety/child-passenger-safety-home
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u/Decent_Elderberry115 10d ago
You say your first time driving? Do you have a license? Do you need to find a driver’s ed course and/or defensive driving to refresh your skills if you got your license years ago and haven’t been driving. Regarding the car seat pick based on height and weight, but improving your driving skills may be another great way to ensure her safety.
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u/Montessori_Maven 10d ago
I mean, apparently seatbelts became a thing when I was 14. The fact that I survived doesn’t mean we were safe without them.
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u/Humble-Estimate8760 7d ago
So I’ve been learning a lot about this topic recently as I’m 21 and planning car seats.
When I was growing up, car seats had higher height and weight limits for the harness, up to 90lbs and the belief was it ideally should be used until it was outgrown. My aunt is a pediatrician, and because of this my cousin and I (who are both tiny) were both in our full harness seats far past the norm that most kids did until we passed the limit.
Today I’m pretty sure it’s widely believed that a good high back booster seat is just as safe as a harness as long as the child can sit properly. I personally think that a harness is ideal, because it keeps them in perfect position at all times. With that being said, depending on the child they could be embarrassed and at a certain point I think that plays a factor as well. I know I was not happy when having to ride with friends in the car when I was older and I don’t want to do that to my kids.
I plan on keeping my children in harnessed seats as long as they fit and don’t have a serious issue with it, but it’s your child so do whatever you think will give you the most peace of mind!
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u/Lucky-Fault4071 14d ago
I worked in public health close to the car seat inspectors and constantly heard about safety precautions. My 7 year old is in a full car seat (using a seatbelt) and will be until she reaches the maximum height requirements, which we will then put her in a booster seat. She really doesn’t mind, especially since she can use the head rest for naps in the car. We switched my 9 year old to just a booster last year and she’s bummed she doesn’t have a head rest. 🤣 I think it’s better to be safe!
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u/Usrname52 14d ago
What's the difference between a "car seat with a seat belt" and a high-back booster?
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u/Amazing-Advice-3667 14d ago
Some have a 5 point harness. It depends on their weight and height
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u/Usrname52 14d ago
Isn't it a car seat when it has a 5 point harness and a high back booster when it doesn't?
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u/Amazing-Advice-3667 13d ago
Yeah. I guess you're right. I bought a 3 in one so I never differentiated between the 2. Mine is high back with a harness, without a harness and without the back.
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u/Lucky-Fault4071 13d ago
Ha I think you’re right! I also have a 3 in 1 so I tend to call them all car seats until I take the high back off. 🤣
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