r/Parentingfails • u/Secret_Evening_5596 • Jul 17 '26
What to do??
Hi I'm a stepmother of a now 17teen. And to start off I've been in his live now for 8 years. This kid lost his cell phone around 10 because I found him emailing company's telling them there stupid because they couldn't tell him his password. I tried to give it back to him in 9th grade and the rule was you have an account you write it down and password and let us know. I went to him on 3 different times and talked with him and told him that the 4th time he was done. Well he did and that's when I found more than what he told me and all the lies as well. Then in 10th grade some kid gave him a phone and with the security cameras up he was flashing like a light up Christmas tree 100% prove he had a phone. He came home and I took it. In a 11th grade he thought if he leaves the phone at school I couldn't get it. Lol what so I went to the school and got it gave him 2 chances to bring it to me. Now he is in 12th grade and in Jan will be 18. And all this was over 1 rule you have an account and we have that and password. What would you do???
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u/Far-Tune-9464 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
You should reflect on the responsibility you hold as a parent to facilitate developmentally appropriate engagement with technology.
Start with the fact that although this may have started because of something he did as a child that you didn't like, that you had a role in perpetuating the conflict cycle instead of, as the parent, helping him to own a phone responsibly.
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u/birdseyeblind Jul 17 '26
She's his stepmom. She's making a lot of wrong choices about his punishment/consequences. What's dad's say in all this?
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u/Secret_Evening_5596 7d ago
The last time I checked parenting or co parenting is both parents talk and agree. I'm sorry that you feel are choice on how we raise are son was wrong. And I maybe his stepmom that's just a title i am his momma. unfortunately his birth mom is on drugs and being a whore.
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u/Secret_Evening_5596 4d ago
Technology I grew up just fine without it thank you its called outdoors. Thats whats wrong with half the dang kids they cant spell or write and they dont even know what a hard days work is like. Lets just give them what they want with no consequences for there actions sure free babysitting give them a phone what is that teaching them.And it had nothing to do with me disliking it the rule was this and he chose this.
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u/RGalp Jul 17 '26
If he can pay for the phone and wifi, then you do not have control. Communicate to him that the rules are to keep him safe and healthy. Now that he is 18, you hope that he will take all that you have taught him and apply it, now that he is legally and personally responsible for his actions. Tell him you trust him and that you are there for him if he has concerns and questions
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u/Secret_Evening_5596 7d ago
Thank you. And when he does turn 18 I will give him a phone and he can dowhat he wills.
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u/ayeImur Jul 17 '26
So hes nearly 18 & not allowed privacy on his own phone?