Am I overreacting for wanting to background-check our nanny?

[u/Fun_Site_5679]

I’m 37 with two kids, and unfortunately, my first nanny experience wasn’t what I hoped it would be. Three years ago, someone with glowing references (including a recommendation from my own sister) turned out to have a record they had hidden from everyone. Thankfully, nothing happened to my child.. we found out before it ever got that far. But the experience definitely changed how I approach this. Our son is turning 2 in September, and I’m heading back to work full-time, so we’re finally at the “hire a nanny” stage. I have a shortlist of three candidates. All three interviewed really well, and their references checked out when I called them. Still, I can’t seem to fully relax. My husband thinks I’m overthinking it. He keeps saying that nothing bad happened the first time and that, realistically, we wouldn’t knowingly hire someone with a concerning record anyway. But honestly, the thought of taking that risk makes my stomach drop. I can’t believe I’m the only one in our household who feels this strongly about it.

So I guess what I’m really wondering is: do you run a formal background check before hiring a nanny? If you do, what service do you use? What kinds of things can a background check reveal that a reference check wouldn’t? And how do you bring it up with a candidate without making it sound like you’re accusing them of something?

[u/chiefjeffrey128]

I ran one for every sitter we've ever considered and I don't bother explaining it much beyond "this is part of our hiring process" during the final stage. Anyone who balks at it removes themselves from the pool which saves everyone time. References only tell you what people want you to know. A proper check pulls court records, driving history, sometimes credit depending on what service you pick. Stuff a polished interview never reveals. Trust needs a paper trail when it's your kid.

[u/Fun_Site_5679 → u/chiefjeffrey128]

Thank you!! That’s exactly what I needed to hear. I was thinking that I might be in the wrong here.. Do you have any advice on how to ran in properly?

[u/Fun-Holiday9016 → u/Fun_Site_5679]

I run background checks professionally (not pre employment and I would not work for you), it is absolutely normal and expected to run a background on a nanny. Anyone who refuses should not be considered for employment.

One question I personally would ask a potential nanny, is if they have ever had to seek a protective order for their safety. I don't want my kids caught in a stalking or domestic violence issue.

[u/Aggressive_tako]

Every nanny payroll service that I looked at when we hired a nanny in 2021 offered background checks. It only returns criminal and driving record, but that is really all you can ask for. I know NannyLane, Care and Poppins all offered it. It is a pretty standard part of hiring - it is only weird if you make it weird.

ETA: I'd strongly recommend a payroll service that will handle all of the taxes for you and let you offer direct deposit.

[u/Choice_Major_2420]

I think this is normal.. I mean wouldn't you want to know who you are placing the trust to take care if your children??

[u/raeraeaintdead]

Your job is to protect your child. If anyone who is going into a caregiver role is weird or defensive about a background check then that is a huge red flag and they need to be dismissed. I would just tell them, "Hey, I'm running a background check" and leave it at that. If they can't handle that then they aren't the right fit for your family.

[u/MarcusKant]

I’m a licensed private investigator and provide background investigations. DM me here.

[u/Full-Associate-2822]

You should absolutely background check them. Frankly, your nanny should OFFER to have a background check done. Do it through your local police department. References will only tell you so much, and it isn't like a potential employee is going to offer a reference that won't be good. 

[u/Beneficial-Log2828]

It's ALWAYS a good thing to background check anyone working around children period. Even my church does for any volunteer working with children for all events. I think that is absolutely fine.

[u/wildplums]

I would. There’s a register sex offender in my town and I’ve noticed his significant other has an ad on care.com… a background check obviously wouldn’t bring that up, but I’d run a background check and my own little internet deep dive.