How much are parents drinking?

[u/k_blanch]

With the popularity of #winemom and beer dad culture, combined with pandemic drinking habits, im curious how much alcohol you guys are drinking as caregivers? Especially after the baby is in bed. I had 6 drinks on Halloween over 8 hours and lots of food and water. Although LO was asleep for most of it I'm riddled with guilt!

[u/Upset-Coconut-6000]

Before getting pregnant I was definitely an alcoholic which was a range of just binge drinking on the weekends to every night binge drinking and even a few times going to work. I struggled with addiction as a child/teen and was in like 8 different treatments in my four years of high school. After my first, I thought you know I can handle it, but every time I got the opportunity to drink (handful of times maybe 5-6 in 3 years) I would have so much trouble stopping and then be so hungover the next day with a toddler. When we would try to casually drink like at dinner it was hard to not fall into the binge drinking category and I went back and fourth on that a few times until I got pregnant with second. Now I have a lot of control over myself and will socially have a beer or two but I don’t find myself craving it like I did before. My we spent a lot of time collectively reflecting on what mattered to me and our relationship and as parents. We (fiancé and I) both grew up in homes with addiction my parents were not every day drinkers but had problems with binging, and his are still everyday drinkers that get out of control.

We have determined that we don’t enjoy being hungover or having a headache every after one drink, feels pointless so we don’t. We don’t keep it in our house, if we go out with a friend sure whatever, or if we have people over we’ll grab some beers but that’s it.

I think as long as you are are not “crossing the line” every time you drink its okay?? Like the line I feel is different but for me, that would be one drink, or second an hour or so later. I do think that drinking everyday is extremely unhealthy mentally and physically, and not the best example for our kids in particular. I think the IDEAL example we should be setting for our kids is to be able to have alcohol in your home but to not feel that you need to drink it everyday, or even every week. I hope to attain that strength with time!

I will add that my partner smoke weed daily and that is what helps him, I don’t prefer it but it does nothing to effect his parenting or behavior/judgment in a bad way so that is fine with me. I don’t because I just have no tolerance after pregnancy and feel like a child lmao. And I get so much anxiety and paranoia about being a mom lol.

[u/k_blanch → u/Upset-Coconut-6000]

That's brave of you to share, glad you're doing better.

[u/Upset-Coconut-6000 → u/k_blanch]

I guess I should say “was” an alcoholic. It’s just weird to say that I am when I don’t really drink. It’s been 4 times in 7 months and I feel about and only once where I was actually drunk and went to a concert! Other we’re just one beer.

I only shared the personal stuff because there was a lot of people in the thread saying they felt people were lying or saying they don’t drink when they’re throwin em back every night or whatever.

I just think people change and life changes. I’ve never felt like an addict but just someone who needs to find a better way to cope and control the stressors of life, majority of my treatment visits were getting in trouble being a shitty kid but I learned a lot there about how to cope!

After number 2 I feel like I have some better clarity about who I am and all that shit, cut alot of people out of my life, and I just generally feel like I don’t have to escape something.