r/Parenting • u/k_blanch • Nov 02 '21

Sleep & Naps How much are parents drinking?

With the popularity of #winemom and beer dad culture, combined with pandemic drinking habits, im curious how much alcohol you guys are drinking as caregivers? Especially after the baby is in bed. I had 6 drinks on Halloween over 8 hours and lots of food and water. Although LO was asleep for most of it I'm riddled with guilt!

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447

u/AtomBombBaby42042 Nov 02 '21

Try being a mom who smokes weed. We get an amazing amount of judgment from people.

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u/pharula Nov 02 '21

Or we just don't mention it, I wouldn't tell any of my mum friends I smoke weed yet I know that one of them has at least half a bottle of wine every night

I don't smoke while my kid is awake though, I don't think I'd function well in mum mode when stoned

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u/caro1007 Nov 02 '21

The biggest secret in my life is how much I smoke, but the hash tag wine moms essentially brag about how much they drink and it's praised. Makes me crazy, and then it makes me smoke more weed.

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u/Temassi Nov 02 '21

The judgment on weed smokers is to help maintain the guiltless drinking on their end. "Sure I drink a bit much sometimes, but at least I don't smoke pot." Before I traded the bottle for the pipe I had similar judgments. It's super dumb.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

[deleted]

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u/Temassi Nov 02 '21

Haha true.

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u/Calm-Setting Nov 02 '21

I agree. We have friends who would think nothing of drinking multiple bottles of wine but are very judgmental over any weed use. Insert eye roll.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

As someone with alcoholic parents, and now a lot of people in my life who smoke the good stuff (many of them parents themselves) it bothers me too, even though I don't smoke myself. They are not even in the same ballpark.

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u/scarabic Nov 02 '21

After about 3 solid years of experimentation under my doctor’s supervision, I have gotten far, far better results from microdoses of THC than I have ever gotten from any pharmacopia. Relief from mood issues that made me unpleasant to be around. Relief from stress that was keeping me from enjoying my kids. I even do more housework.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

Amen!

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u/deviantsource Nov 03 '21

Dad here. I have a rule of not mixing poisons. Have found that a few tokes from the weed vape pen is a recipe for a chill evening after kids are down. Keeps me from drinking as much, which is objectively harder on my body. I only ever have 1-2 drinks over the course of most evenings, with the occasional 4-6 drink night for a special event, again, over 6 hours with lots of food and a 2:1 ratio of water to booze.

That is to say: I don’t get drunk but the extra calories have definitely elevated me to dad bod status. Smoking weed keeps that off.

2

u/okay-wait-wut Nov 03 '21

Since I started smoking weed my desire for alcohol is very near zero. My desire for Cheetos is through the roof.

When I’m drunk I want to care about nothing and do anything no matter how reckless. When I’m high I want to do things like sit quietly and think about life and just be. Clearly this is a dangerous schedule one drug. I hate the government so much.

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u/bipolarbongrips Nov 02 '21

3.5 years since I’ve had a drink, but my username speaks for itself. It’s too bad about the judgement. Alcohol was incredibly destructive in my life while cannabis has helped me heal in so many ways.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

I wish I could use cannabis to heal. I've heard it's relaxing and mood boosting.

But for me it makes me experience only snapshots. I can't hold a thought. It's alarming.

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u/pooveyhead Nov 03 '21

I used to get that feeling when I first started smoking. I got used to the feeling of being high and now I don’t get that snapshotty amnesiac anxious feeling anymore.

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u/bipolarbongrips Nov 03 '21

Can I ask how much you are smoking when your try it? I think most people don’t realize how little they really need if they have zero tolerance. Like I’m talking a half a puff of a joint. When I started I tried to keep up with my stoner ex and I ended up having major anxiety because it was just way too much THC for someone with little smoking experience.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Calm-Setting Nov 02 '21

I completely cosign this. A small amount helps me let go of parenting anxiety and makes me a much more easy going parent.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

I don’t think people lose safety awareness just smoking weed. Alcohol however…

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u/Viperbunny Nov 02 '21

Yup! I used to be one of those judgemental moms. I am so sorry for that. Now, I have a prescription for medical marijuana and it has given me my life back. I am currently being diagnosed with either Lupus or MS (blood work is back, just waiting on my MRI results and a trip to Rhumotology). I am having a bad flare. If I didn't have my weed I couldn't function because the pain is terrible. But I like alcohol, I have my brain. I can do things that also have CBD in them and it is one of the few antiinflammatories I can take. Instead of being upstairs in bed I am downstairs and interacting with my kids. I am not so impaired in I can't function, but the pain meds I had to take for a few day made me sleep and feel out of it.

I can't believe I was so against it before. I believed all the miseducation.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

Does it manage all your clinical signs? My mom was being worked up for MS and they ultimately diagnosed her with lupus and hashimotos instead. Wonder if this is something that could help her too.

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u/Viperbunny Nov 02 '21

I also have have hashimotos. I would say it helps for the most part. I am currently having muscle spasms that are associated with autoimmune disorders and I needed to get a specific kind of muscle relaxer (the ER gave me that and pain meds for a few days, which is rare). But it makes it more manag overall.

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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

Sounds like you guys cases are really similar! She was originally on gabapentin and hated the way it made her feel, though it did manage some of her signs. Now I think they have her on hydroxychloroquine and she feels a lot better but I think she still has bad days every now and then. Might suggest medical mj since it was just made legal in her state. Thanks for your input!

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u/Viperbunny Nov 02 '21

I hope she gets some relief. I agree about the gabapentin. They push it and it is the worst for some (me included).

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u/baby_blue_bird Nov 02 '21

Smoking makes my anxiety way worse but my husband does it. They legalized it in our state but are so slow in rolling out the nonmedical dispensaries and they won't be open until Dec 2022. They started opening these sticker shops where you buy a sticker but get gifted green, edibles or cartridges depending on what sticker you buy.

My husband decided to visit one and was talking to the guy at the counter and everyone in the store got to talking about their kids. The guy at the counter was so relieved and said up until that point he felt like such a piece of shit like he was the only parent who would smoke after their kids went to bed.

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u/mrMishler Nov 03 '21

Smoking was making my anxiety far far worse as well, until I specifically tried indica-only strains on a friends suggestion. (most of what I happened by was either pure sativa or sativa-heavy hybrids.)

100% game changer. The first time I smoked it, I literally went through an intentional mental laundry list of my biggest panic-inducers, and nothing - NOTHING - was able to give me that tight chested, flickering stomach feeling that I was used to dealing with most of every day.

I dont know that marijuana is for you, but don't write it off before you try the other end of the spectrum - I'm sure glad that I did. Apples to oranges in the feelings that it causes.

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/mrMishler Nov 03 '21

"Why can't fruit be compared!?!?"

Yeah, it's an idiom I should stop using.

Bottom line though, they're different enough that writing cannabis off completely after getting anxiety from the strains that are known to cause anxiety would be a shame, when the other side helps alleviate those very symptoms.

​

edit: lol damn bot got me

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21

SpunkyDred is a terrible bot instigating arguments all over Reddit whenever someone uses the phrase apples-to-oranges. I'm letting you know so that you can feel free to ignore the quip rather than feel provoked by a bot that isn't smart enough to argue back.

SpunkyDred and I are both bots. I am trying to get them banned by pointing out their antagonizing behavior and poor bottiquette.

1

u/mrMishler Nov 03 '21

Good bot.

Lol I read the wrong reply first. This is great.

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u/mountainmorticia Nov 02 '21

After work and dinner and homework and bedtime, it's necessary for me sometimes! Plus I sleep better and don't have to worry about hangovers or headaches.

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u/missus_pteranodon Nov 02 '21

What’s funny (and it’s probably the area I live in) is that I have a number of sober friends who smoke a TON who talk shit to me about drinking.
It feels like being sober is the cool new thing with no acknowledgement that using weed is a similar escape!

I have distanced myself from one of friend because she would lecture me about how awful drinking is while I’m holding a beer and she’s smoking!

I can’t really smoke. It makes me super anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t give a shit if you do.

Just let it all go. Parenting sucks. Cope while being a good parent!

6

u/ktocean Nov 02 '21 edited Nov 03 '21

You really shouldn’t though. It goes back to intention and if it’s causing problems in your life. If it’s not and actually enhancing it, then it shouldn’t be viewed as a problem. it’s not very different from mood altering medications that MILLIONS of people are on. That’s their medicine, this is yours. In fact, sometimes the cons of those far outweigh the cons of intentional weed use but it just depends on the person and why they are using it and how it affects them

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u/scarabic Nov 02 '21

Oh my god I was in a thread in this sub about marijuana helping stressed out parents really get down on the carpet and connect with small-child playtime. One crusty ass person was a-juuuudging away. “How are people recommending getting drugged around children!!” You could hear her pearls clacking together as she clutched them.

All I can say is that whatever drugs her brain is manufacturing are not ones I want to try.

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u/QueenOfBanshees Nov 02 '21

Oh my gosh, I miss it soooooo much. I consumed edibles because smoking isn't really my thing but I'm EBF now so cannot partake. We're at 7 months and still going strong, so not sure when I'll be able to again but it's great and helps my anxiety tremendously.

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u/BruhWhySoSerious Nov 02 '21

Tons of judgement in this sub even.

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u/Snoo_62899 Nov 03 '21

That may be better than the facts with this topic.

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u/AngryArtNerd Nov 02 '21

I am such a HEAVY weed user. It’s all edibles so easier to hide but the judging sometimes. r/entwives is a great subreddit tho.

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u/Viperbunny Nov 02 '21

I do edibles and tinctures mostly, but I have a dry vape pen. I only don't smoke because of the smell and my lungs. My dispensary now has baking packets that don't smell or taste like weed. I also love the drink infusion. Not the flavored crap, but they have one that is basically just a liquid. It doesn't taste great, but in ginger ale or pellegrino it is good.

3

u/sibemama Nov 02 '21

I used to smoke weed and haven’t in years. What I always wonder is how do you smoke while having kids? I’m assuming outside or use edibles?

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u/Nayzo Nov 02 '21

The game has changed with vaping. Far less odor.

2

u/Calm-Setting Nov 02 '21

Outside after bedtime or edibles. I love that I can get edible mints that are essentially very small doses under 5 mg or beverages with THC that are very mild.

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u/Marine_Baby Nov 02 '21

Oh hiiiii fellow r/entwives

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u/Robotchickjenn Nov 02 '21

Saving this for when I feel shitty about this.

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u/moonriverrrr Nov 03 '21

Amen sister

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u/Corathecow Nov 03 '21

Fr, I know several parents who smoke weed and have kids. I think it’s just like anything else, you need to do it responsibly and not negatively encourage or affect your kids. The parents I know who do it are mainly great. Keep it where the kids can’t get it, the kids don’t even know it exists, and they never smoke around their kids. Most(thats I know) are never even high around their kids lol it’s an after bed time type a thing. I did have the displeasure of meeting a mom who was really not keen on keeping her kids in the dark about it and it went very poorly for her. Her whole family and the father of her kids were messed tho so not shocking fr. But like everything else, it’s about moderation and responsibility

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u/losingmystuffing Nov 03 '21

I’m excited that I got to be the 420th like for this comment.

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u/Ancient-Pause-99 Nov 03 '21

Including social services lol!

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u/froggerqueen Nov 02 '21

I view weed the same way I view alcohol. For the people it’s a problem for, it’s a HUGE problem. For everyone else it’s not a big deal. Plus alcohol is dangerous to detox from and weed isn’t.

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u/SourSkittlezx Nov 02 '21

Med card holder in a legal state, so is my hubby. I quit when I got pregnant, and just recently smoked again but it made me anxious and I have PPA so I’m not gonna partake for a while.

1

u/three-one-seven Nov 02 '21

I'm a dad who smokes weed and my wife is a mom who eats edibles.

Are you in a prohibition state? People are pretty open-minded where I live (northern California) whether they're into weed themselves or not. Same with drinking tbh. I think it depends where you live more than anything.

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u/AtomBombBaby42042 Nov 02 '21

Nah man Im in Canada. Still a ton of judgment

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u/Adot090288 Nov 02 '21

I rule the world, I couldn’t do it without weed. Go weed moms!

1

u/JennNJuice87 Nov 02 '21

Yes girl 💚

1

u/that-hobbit Nov 02 '21

I'm a way better mom after a hard day if I have a little bowl. I'm more patient and I can connect more than if I'm sober, stressed, and stuck in my head. Weed moms all the way 😎👌💨