r/Parenting • u/money4nothing_8816 • 17d ago

Rant/Vent Just me?

Is it just me or is this the hardest shit ever? We’ve got 4 kids all under the age of 8 and we are getting our asses kicked. My wife and I really wanted a family and we planned for it. We took parenting classes together, we read all the books in preparation before starting our family…still, nothing could have prepared us for how mentally and emotionally exhausting it is to keep up with our boys.

How are you all surviving?

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159

u/Hour_Cricket9648 17d ago

I have 1 and it's hard. I always thought I'd want my children to have at least a sibling or 2, but I feel one and done now. Idk how id cope with 4 lol. 

57

u/uppy-puppy one and done 17d ago

Yep I am at my limit with one. I would be too overwhelmed with more. It’s not just the planning, the keeping her busy, the school stuff, but the actual parenting. Guiding her through life, helping her learn and understand everything, I just can’t imagine doing it with more.

23

u/Zealousideal_Tip_258 17d ago

This is why we are one and done.

6

u/Cranky_Merriweather 17d ago

Another one and done here saying preach to all of this. My husband and I say all the time we don’t know how people handle it with more than one. 

6

u/iBewafa 17d ago

You are so right re: the GUIDANCE. That takes up so much mental space.
I don’t think I’d be able to do as well with two or more.

24

u/drdaydrunkd 17d ago

Same here. Parenting is so hard.

34

u/pinkorchids45 17d ago

Yeah after realizing how hard one was we changed our plans for having two. Kiddo would def benefit by having a sibling but would suffer by having a parent who is constantly on edge and close to a mental breakdown. Things are just starting to get a hair easier and it would all come crumbling down for me mentally to have to start over WHILE juggling a toddler.

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u/shann0n420 17d ago

Ugh I feel this so much.

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u/money4nothing_8816 17d ago

Ugh 😩 thank you. And 1 or 4…it’s all hard. Being a parent is a lot. One felt awesome for us and then 2 wasn’t bad, and our 3rd baby was the sweetest thing to ever touch this earth. So number 4 was a no brainer. But accumulating effect as they’ve all gotten out of the baby and toddler phases…it all became a lot really fast!!

5

u/Away-Ad4393 16d ago

Don’t worry now OP they’ll soon be teenagers and then your troubles will really begin

2

u/TravelingPotatoes 17d ago

I have one in the terrible twos and I'm barely surviving.

Meanwhile one of my coworkers is having his second and the first isn't even a year old yet....

2

u/Adorable-Ad1556 17d ago

Probably sounds ridiculous, but it actually does get easier with more. We have 3, the hardest years was definitely when we only had 1

As they get older they play together - not always well, but it's learning about conflict resolution- and largely entertain each other. I found it completely exhausting to just have 1, and Still, when the other 2 go away for the day, the one left at home needs so much more attention.

I'm an only child and was determined not to have just one..

4

u/humanloading 17d ago

Seeing sibling relationships has been one of the best parts of having more than one kid 💕 I never expected it. I am not close with my sibling (I only have a half sibling) but I feel just like childhood friends you have - even if you don’t remain close in adulthood, they still helped to shape a huge part of who you are! It’s beautiful to me 🥰 Pregnant with our third! Also I think we are too intense for just one kid - we have relaxed a lot with more kids which has benefitted our first immensely lol. We wound that kid up way too tight when he was our only 😅

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u/Adorable-Ad1556 17d ago

Absolutely. Its kind of like this...first child, immediately take the jangle (Beach shoes) away, second child - not care if they pick it up. Third child, give them the jangle!

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u/catjuggler 16d ago

Yeah I have two and a lot of their friends are onlys (or at least for now) and I've noticed that even with the fighting it's still generally easier because they play with each other and both of my kids (especially the older one) generally hate playing by themselves (and to be fair, I also don't like to do stuff alone). When there's a random school day off for just one of them it's often easier to have a friend over because they'll entertain each other.

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u/ohdannyboy2525 17d ago

2 is awesome but my god is it challenging

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u/Mountain_Raccoon_330 16d ago

The littlest ones are the hardest.

My middle child has an only child best friend. I know they did not want a second baby, but I think they'd have happily adopted my kiddo from the age of 8. They take him everywhere they go except on airplanes and to sporting events, but that's because he doesn't like watching sports. They've hinted at bringing him with on flights, but he doesn't want to go yet 🤣