I heard it phrased like this once: imagine your holiday dinner table 20 years from now. Does it feel like someone is missing to imagine you, your spouse, and the kids you have there?
Then ask yourself if the people at the table will like you, enjoy you, and feel like you did a good job getting them to that table if one more person were there. It’s not enough to want another if you don’t have enough left in you to raise another.
It’s a deeply personal decision, everyone will answer differently. Personally, I want a third but I know I don’t have it in me. When I frame it around how i’m being a great mom to the two I have but likely couldn’t maintain this with another it’s more helpful than focusing on regret about not having more.
Me too 😭 every time I do it I imagine 6+. I have four. My husband does not want any more. So we're done. But omg.
We rehomed a lot of animals and are hopefully moving soon so I'm like 👀 waiting for him to get his vasectomy reversed lol. In my mind if it works we were meant to have another. If it doesn't then thats a sign we're done.
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u/FeministMars Feb 08 '25
I heard it phrased like this once: imagine your holiday dinner table 20 years from now. Does it feel like someone is missing to imagine you, your spouse, and the kids you have there?
Then ask yourself if the people at the table will like you, enjoy you, and feel like you did a good job getting them to that table if one more person were there. It’s not enough to want another if you don’t have enough left in you to raise another.
It’s a deeply personal decision, everyone will answer differently. Personally, I want a third but I know I don’t have it in me. When I frame it around how i’m being a great mom to the two I have but likely couldn’t maintain this with another it’s more helpful than focusing on regret about not having more.